Hump Day

It's been quiet this week. I've worked since Wednesday.

I got up early this morning (9:30) so that I could go for a run, and then get downtown early enough to meet up with Chris for lunch. Lunch was good. When I arrived at work, I discovered that there was a going away party going on. The girl I'm replacing was having pizza and cake with everyone in the office. I didn't get an invitation and felt pretty rotten. I guess it's understandable, but it isn't as if she's being fired. She asked to be moved to another department. I don't see why they would not invite me, but I'm not going to get upset about it. I really couldn't care about what happens during my cubicle life.

I haven't had a drop of alcohol since last Saturday. I'm sure you can tell because my entries have been so boring this week. I haven't sworn off alcohol, I just haven't really felt like it lately. We'll see how long it lasts.

My Dad is coming to Toronto tomorrow. He's putting the house on the market and the real-estate lady is coming by. I have to get up early again tomorrow so that I can help him clean and tidy up as much as we can before she arrives at 4:00.

It turns out that I don't have a long weekend this week. I'm working tomorrow and Sunday, but I do get Monday and Tuesday off. I have a job interview on Tuesday, and I have to create a lesson plan so that I can teach a class and show them what an innovative and creative teacher I am. I can do that for 45-minutes. I will have to spend most of Monday preparing for that and getting psyched.

It's not going to be an exciting night tonight. The blogging at 11:30 is probably the first indication. I'm heading to bed early to finish reading my book. I have be up before my Dad arrives at 8:30 tomorrow morning.

Burdenless Shoulders

I did it! Today is the day that I've been looking forward to since September. This is the day that I knew would come, and like waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom is just such a huge relief. (Good simile? Bad one? I could have gone Christmas morning but decided not to.)

I'm finished my course, and like every assignment I've ever completed, I knew that it would get finished, but I just didn't know how. I'm a little concerned by that, but I don't want to mess with something that works.

I got up early (10:30) this morning (Come on, that's two and a half hours before work. That's the equivalent of 6:30 and therefore totally reasonable.) and decided to go for my run. I took yesterday off as a rest day but I did take the stairs to the 7th floor instead of the elevator. I felt good yesterday and right now, I can feel that my lungs and heart have had a good workout. My chest always feels so good after exercise, and it makes up for any leg stiffness.

Actually, the part of my body that invariable hurts me the most when I exercise is my jaw. I guess I clench my teeth or position my mouth in an unusual way because it just hurts like crazy. I have to wear a mouthguard in order to eliminate the pain. How dumb is that wearing a mouthguard to run? It's not one of those normal ones either. It's a full on orthodontist-built night guard to reduce grinding. It's levelled and layered to make it impossible for my back teeth to touch therefore preventing clenching. I look like a moron and can't talk to anyone, and taking it out is not pretty after 30 minutes of exercise, but it works.

I just want to give a shout out to all those nerds out there who put episodes of Lost on the internet. I missed last week's episode and after 4 days of downloading, I managed to get the whole thing before the new one airs tonight. I also want to jeer those people who mislabel their files. I got an episode of season one that was labelled as last week's episode. That was a real corker 351MB later.

Procrastination Dynamo

This is unbelievable. What a day. I can't even begin to live with myself when I do what I did today.

So my big project is due tomorrow and I'm so close to being finished that I can't even believe that I have to do anything more in order to get finished. At the same time, I look at what I've done and I can't even believe that I'm actually going to hand in such a piece of crap.

Instead of working I:

1) Updated my "Visitors From" section to include Saudi Arabia, and Peru.
2) Added Devil's Tools to my "My Daily Reads".
3) I learned a little about menstruation.
4) I finished 4 online Sudokus with my best time being 6 minutes and 24 seconds.
5) Found out that I didn't win my crossword contest.
6) Google searched running training.
7) Ate some frozen grapes and yogurt (I have four tubs left, if you were interested to know)
8) Voted for a song on the The National Playlist.
9) Played a few freerolls with no success.
10) Agreed to cycle the Don Valley Parkway.
11) Called Brian on the phone and apologized profusely for no reason.
12) Checked my hotmail inbox about 62 times. One day I should actually count the number of times I do it. I prefer Gmail because it updates automatically.
13) Got the mail and found out that my VISA card is expiring and they gave me a bright shiny virgin-pure one. There is always something filthy about swiping a new card for the first time.
14) Read every Savage Chicken cartoon.
15) Defeated my rival (the evil McGee) to take the EA Sports Trophy in Fight Night.
16) Completed my goal of beginning my exercise by running 2 km. It was my first day back, lay off!
17) Took a shower and realized that my shampoo bottle was empty. I reached over to the cupboard and grabbed my econo 1-litre tub-'o-shampoo to refill the more manageable in-shower bottle. This move emptied the bottle and so I decided to rinse the bottle out for recycling. This meant a lot of suds and frequent fills in order to deshampooify the bottle's innards. I then deshampooed the lid and peeled off the plastic labels. Thus creating the perfect piece of recyclable plastic.
18) I cooked dinner: chicken breasts, brown rice and lima beans. I love lima beans and go out of my way to buy them at the grocery store (sorry!).
19) Applied for a teaching job.
20) Contemplated why my blog has received hits in the high 30s today.
21) Tried to figure out who all the people are who visited my blog today.
22) Tried downloading last week's episode of Lost that I stupidly missed.
23) Subscribed to the bandeapart.fm podcast.
24) Listened to a live Devin Davis set from KEXP.
25) Was successful in identifying that I downloaded the Arctic Monkeys song "Scummy" (a.k.a. "When the Sun Goes Down") on August 5th, 2005.
26) Downloaded Bromheads Jacket's "What Ifs + Maybes" from Headphone Sex.
27) Discovered that there are numerous running races this summer. I have not yet paid to run them, but might.
28) Watched The Simpsons, Frasier, Jeopardy, and an episode of CSI, and CSI: New York.

I'm sure there's more that I'm not remembering, but I think that you get the idea of the finely-tuned working machine that is happening over here.

Great Ideas

So, I woke up late this morning as usual. Before I realized it it was 2:43am. Time got a way from me a bit. Night guy took over and gave morning guy a thrashing.

So I sat down at my computer hoping that today would be a better Internet connection day than yesterday. I connected to the usual neighbor and had a solid link for about 24 seconds before it all went to pot. I tried the others, but again, nothing doing.

Then it hit me: why don't I move my computer upstairs? There isn't anyone up there. I could put it in the main room on a table and see if connecting will be any better than in the basement.

Sure enough, it is a lot better. I've gone from 3 signals to 9. All the additional signals are encoded, so it's a moot point, but the connection strength and quality of the unencoded ones is much better. The Internet is blazing fast and much more stable than before.

So, I don't really see how I can go back. My computer will have to stay upstairs, which is rellay going to make life in my apartment boring, but it's only a short walk, so I'll survive. This might also help the productivity since I'm less likely to be tempted by the fridge, novels, my two channels of TV, vids, and the greatest siren of them all: bed.

ABQ Blues, Bob Barker, Boxing, and Crossword Puzzles

I want to post something really cool on my blog right now, but I'm afraid I just won't be able to do it. Still, I think that might be the joy of this thing. Other people only post when they have something interesting and clever to say, I'd post constantly if I could justify it, and I heartily suscribe to the infinite-monkeys-typing approach.

I spent the whole day sitting on my computer trying to finish my "Teacher Inquiry Project". It wouldn't have been so bad except that my stolen Internet was intolerably slow and for all intents and purposes totally not working. I couldn't procrastinate by obsessively refreshing my hotmail inbox, playing online Sudokus or reading blogs. Instead, rather than working, I built a career as a professional boxer on EA Sports Fight Night Round Three. I have an undefeated record after about 30 fights (and a bankroll of 1.74 million smackers) and I'm about to get my title shot. The secret to an undefeated record is easy: if you're about to lose, you just turn of the game before it saves. When you play again, you face the same opponent and this time, you know all their secrets! The only problem is that this little maneuver ruins the accomplishment; like moving you golf ball out of a divot.

I also spent about 40 minutes completing a crossword puzzle. I cheated like crazy by googling everything that I didn't know, but it was for a prize, so I figured that I would try to win. I like contests. That reminds me that I had always planned to go on The Price is Right, but I haven't done it. I should get on that. I just need a dozen people to wear university shirts or better yet someone could design a t-shirt for me to wear something along the lines of: I learned more from Bob Barker than Big Bird.

I did manage to write 8 pages of my essay. I've felt like crap all day, not hungover crap, not allergies crap, not I'm-getting-a-cold crap. I've just felt melancholy crap. The promise of being almost finished this damn course isn't making the fact that I have to spend the next two days finishing it seem any better.

Be it resolved that I will begin an exercise regime that will see me within the next 6 months see me either run a race and/or get just get active and stop feeling melancholy on a Sunday afternoon.

Another Odd Saturday Night.

I am convinced that people just read my blog for the drunken entries that seem to be happening more and more frequently. Rest assured, that I am not a horrific drunk, but it is just a complete coincidence that I've been drinking a lot and blogging. Some people drink and dial, I drink and blog (on occasion drink and email). Those blogs shouldn't be more interesting than the others, but they really are; I know it.

I had great Vietnamese food tonight at Mi Mi's Restaurant. Even though it took for bloody ever to get our bill, the food was quite good, and exactly what I was in the mood for. I find that the best way to get your bill is to put your jacket on. When faced with dine-n-dash you'd be surprised at how devoted an otherwise inattentive waiter becomes.

I headed off to meet up with a friend who was at a co-worker's birthday party. We went to Montana's for dinner (since I had already eaten, I just had a pint) and then since we had free passes to get upstairs, we headed up to the club. I haven't been to a nightclub in such a long time, mainly because their so stupid. Despite the deafening music, I had a few drinks. Quiet guys like me have a hard time in loud places because no one can hear a word I say. I end up getting a lot of polite nods and awkward smiles. I don't dance; I mean I really don't dance. The only thing that will get me shaking my money maker is huge, huge, huge amounts of alcohol. I just feel like a monumental idiot when I'm dancing beside someone I don't know. There's always this strange unspoken tension as she expects you to be "making a move" and all you're doing is bending your knees a little bit in tune with music that you're pretending to like but actually wouldn't be caught dead listening to if you were not in a place that cost $10 cover.

Nevertheless, I did have fun. Every time I go to a nightclub, I am just so shocked at how tremendously easy it is to "pick up". Don't get any ideas, I didn't, but man a lot of people did. I guess that's the power of alcohol, and desperation. There were a ton of very attractive women there, and all that you really need to do is say hello and listen to the answers to some simple questions. I always feel horrendously out of place in nightclubs what with my thick glasses and my ungelled haircut. I don't wear cologne, I don't have any "accessories" and haven't spent 45 minutes getting ready. While I would see this as shockingly refreshing, most don't. I always thought that this was something to do with the bling, but that may or may not be true. I can't pretend to be someone else, so that might put me at a disadvantage.

Even though I bad mouth the place, and the situation, I did have a lot of fun. It is interesting how new things are a lot fun. I won't make a habit of clubbing since it really isn't my scene, but it is nice to visit every once in a while. Good company, the right mood, and something strangly new can be a great combination.

Still, here I am blogging again at 3:00 in the morning. To be honest (I'm beginning to wonder if this blog is too honest), I didn't have any interest in waking up next to someone whose name I couldn't remember. I'm sure there will be plenty of people who do, but that really just isn't my bag, baby.

I listened to my Radio 3 podcast on the way home. Goddamn that thing kicks ass. I've said it before, but I just don't know if I can really express in words how thoroughly and completely I enjoy it.

Which reminds me: I was very sad to hear the The National Playlist is ending. I'm not sure if it's for the season, or forever, but I think that it is something that I will seriously miss. I hope that they are just going on holiday for a while, because I think that show is something really fun, and a big eye-opener for a lot of people. I sent an email to the show a few weeks ago and will post it in a few days.

So, that was my evening. I managed to get shockingly little finsihed on my course, but I did manage to procrastinate my way into finishing my laundry (including my sheets) and cleaning my apartment. I'm hoping that even though it is 3:35 in the morning that I am going to wake up refreshed and ready to finish three months worth of independent study in one day. Cross your fingers for me!

Late Night Movie

I've started to have my strings cut a little at work which is nice because I will be more independent. It also means, of course, more responsibility. I guess that goes with the territory.

I'm working on the late night Saturday movie: The Man Who Knew Too Much. I don't have much to say except that I really do believe that Jimmy Stewart is totally overrated. All the parodies make all the jokes that I possibly could here, so I will just leave it at that.

Tomorrow is my last day before the four day weekend. I'm going to need it in order to finish up my course for Tuesday. The nice thing is that I will also get four days next weekend too. It just happens that one of the other captioners is leaving and I will be taking over her shift which happens to give me next weekend off. Sadly, it also gives me a shafted paycheque.

Highlights From My Trip to the Grocery Store

I had to go to the grocery store this morning so I had to roll out of bed early. I headed over to the always depressing Dufferin Mall to pick up some essentials for cheap.

I wasn't out looking for unusual items, but I know that the grocery store is a good place for weird things. "Cock on the Mountain Top" brand would certainly qualify. Come on, you've seen it and laughed too, don't deny it.

I didn't see it until I got home, but "Sparkling White Vanilla Mint Gel" Colgate toothpaste comes with a scratch and sniff sticker. I haven't seen a scratch and sniff sticker since 1982, and you can bet that the second I noticed it I was scratching and sniffing.

I purchased a box of GoLean cereal. I settled on the regular rather than the "Crunch" version. I noticed when I got home that one of the selling points on the box is that it contains "fiber twigs". I mean with all the creative people in the world, they could hire one who could come up with a way of describing it in a more appealing way?

So that was my fantastic trip to the grocery store. I did manage to buy grapes for the first time in my life. That's the honest truth, I have never purchased fresh grapes at the grocery store before. My Dad buys them all the time, but I have never been interested in letting them rot in the bottom of my fridge. I decided that since they looked good and were fairly inexpensive that I would buy a couple of bunches and put them in the freezer.

Harpo's been grumbling for a while about his low litter level, and I picked up some No Name clumping litter as well as a bag of Indoor Cat formula food for him. He seems happy, and now I don't have to worry about any anger pees on the floor. He hasn't ever done this before, but I know that a lot of cats do.

Oh yeah, I also bought 8 tubs of yogurt. I think that's too much yogurt. Is that too much yogurt? I think that's too much yogurt.

NB: After spell checking, Blogger's spell check's first suggestion for the word "Dufferin" is "deform".

Procrastination-B-Gone

Something very strange happened to me when I got home from work.

I walked in the door of my house. I turned on the inside light, and turned off the outside light. I took off my coat, scarf, toque, gloves and shoes. I walked into the apartment and Harpo was rolling around on the floor as he always does when I come home. I sat down beside him and gave him a good rub behind the ears, and on his belly. He was all full of static so I left him alone.

I sat down at the computer and checked my email. I surfed around for a bit and then it hit me: panic.

My course. I knew that I had to finish the final unit of my course for Thursday. I had been lulled into a false sense of security because I had finished so much of it ahead of schedule.

There's nothing unusual about me having bouts of extreme panic, but the unusual part about it was that I just opened up a blank word document and got the assignment done. I didn't put it off, I didn't read blogs halfway through, I didn't get up and go to the fridge, I didn't go to the bathroom. I just sat in my chair, worked for three hours and got the work done.

I didn't do anything unusual today, except go out for dinner. I was supposed to be working, but I went to The Elephant and Castle instead. I ordered a Tennent's with my fish and chips. I was out of the office for about 80 minutes. I felt guilty about it, so I stayed late to make up the time even though I was completely unsupervised. After dinner, I sat in my chair at work for 150 minutes before I headed home. I'm thinking that there might be some strange Ritalin-like chemicals in Tennent's because that's the only explanation for my shocking concentration tonight. Maybe it was the thrill of cutting off work in the middle of a shift, or maybe it was just the guilt of it. I'm thinking that if I can get just sit down and get that much accomplished over that many consecutive hours, I may be on to the greatest gift to my productivity, or a huge money maker.

I'm feeling strangely content right now, and I'm not exactly sure why.

Even though I have to work this weekend, and I have five more days next week before I'm off, I really don't mind. Yesterday, I used a captioning style called Pop On, and I practiced on what might be the worst part of my job: children's programming. One of the obvious drawbacks of captioning work is the repetition. Throughout all the different stages, you have to watch the same source material over and over again in order to get it done right. The problem with the show that I was working on yesterday, is that it was a show for preschoolers and was non-stop sugary singing. I captioned 12 episodes, and by the end of the day I thought that I was certifiably insane. When you work on shows like that, you really want to make sure that you get it right the first time, so that you don't have to go back and fix things up later, and have to watch it a few more times.

Today, was totally relaxed. There were two 15-second promos that needed to be done. That translates into about 6 minutes of work, so I spent the day catching up on other shows. We are working on a British drama series and it isn't half bad.

A great idea hit me yesterday, and I can't believe that I didn't think of it sooner. I've been waiting every week for the new Radio 3 podcast, but there are about 35 archived episodes that I haven't heard. I got the bright idea to download them all. That's thinking! I highly recommend episode #32. It's Grant Lawrence's picks of the best of 2005 and all sound solid to me.

Sweet Reprieve

I was so happy today when I walked to work. It was incredible.

I walked out the door and about two blocks from my house I remembered that I left a paint can lid, that I was supposed to take with me, in the house. I decided that I couldn't make do without it so I had to walk back. Fortunately, I left early enough to still get to work on time.

As I walked past my car for the second time, I looked at my rear license plate and noticed that the sticker on it says "JUL 06". That means that my plates don't expire this month as I had thought, but instead expire in July. This is fantastic! I get to keep my car for another three months. Hot damn!

I started thinking about why I was so confused (I do this a lot). It turns out that my Saskatchewan driver's license expired on my birth month (I got rid of it a while ago, so that's not an issue). I arrived in Saskatchewan in July of 2003 and immediately got plates because they are so inexpensive. I guess I must have renewed my plates in July a few days before I left Saskatchewan. Come to think of it, I remember it being an issue since I wasn't sure how I was going to drive to Ontario in July with expired plates. It turns out that my plan to renew them in Saskatchewan paid off.

Anyway, that put me in a great mood. The sun was shining and today is Friday and that means new Radio 3 Podcast day. Everything was looking good.

I walked down to Queen Street because I needed to buy some fabric for some curtains. I wanted to match the wall colour from the paint can lid, to the rolls of fabric. I knew that Queen Street has tons of fabric stores so I stopped in on my way to work to get them. I wandered around the fabric store for ages trying to find a decent colour. The problem with the store that I went to is that there didn't appear to be any system of organization. All the fabric seemed to be junked into piles that didn't match by colour, pattern, price, or manufacturer. I'm a thin guy, but the aisles were so close together that I could hardly get through them. I felt a little claustrophobic in there, but fortunately there weren't many people shopping.

Anyway, I got my two yards of fabric, and was back on the road again. I arrived at work early and got right down to business. I worked hard, and got a lot accomplished. The funny thing was that I didn't take a break. I worked from 12:50 until 9:20 without stopping for snacks or dinner. I did go to the water cooler, but that's all the personal time I took. My job involves a little bit of walking between offices so that was all the distraction that I needed. I'm starting to think that I might make a good employee. I never would have imagined.

Busy Doing Nothing

Busy Doing Nothing

I'm super sorry about not posting for the past couple of days. I haven't really been all that busy, but I have been occupied. Don't worry, there isn't anything terribly exciting going on, but I have been out of the house doing stuff and that helps.

I've been sleeping terribly for the past few nights. Usually, I have no problem sleeping but I've been having stress dreams. You know the ones where you repeat the same task over and over and over again? I've been thinking about my job, and-- of all things-- checking my email over and over in my dreams. It totally eats it. I thought that it was bad enough while I was awake, but this is way worse. For the past couple of nights, I've just decided to wake up and read a book, but that doesn't seem to help either. Though I wouldn't ever consider myself an insomniac, their motto must be: maybe tonight will be better.

As a result, I haven't been as prompt about getting out of bed. My aunt, uncle, and cousin called at 8:30am and said that they were going to drop in. I had hoped that they could take my car to my Dad's house, so I had to get up and fill the tank with expensive gasoline, and then clean it up a bit. I moped around and was sluggish for most of the morning. It turned out that they didn't feel like they could drive the four hours since they only yesterday got off a plane from Sydney. I agreed, but was secretly relieved that I have my car for a while longer, especially now that I know it's clean.

I sent a few emails, and then headed off to work. It was a quiet day, so that was alright. I especially enjoyed the walk today. It feels Springy outside and it's so nice to get out in the middle of the day and get a good walk. I felt a lot more energetic after that.

After my bad run of luck, I knew things would look up. I was called yesterday about a job, and I've arranged to have an interview on April 4th. I'm not sure how I'm going to get there (lendy, lendy?), or how I'm going to get off work for the day, but I will have to think of something. I was encouraged that I've, at least, had some interest and while the position isn't "the dream job" I won't know until I go and visit. It might be something that I take as a stepping stone to something better next year.

There isn't much else to say. I was a little surprised, to be perfectly honest, that no one had anything to say about my fantasy baseball team, but either you found it too derivative of the McSweeney's article (which of course it was) or I guess I'm a way bigger nerd than all my readers. I suppose that raises the rhetorical question: why are you reading?

Fantasy Fantasy Baseball

With my recent basement dwelling on my hockey pool, I decided that I might be better of with baseball, and I know that I would be better when it comes to drafting this lineup. I came across this via The Nonist via kottke.org via McSweeney's:

What would your ideal fantasy-baseball lineup be if you had to create it using only characters from classic Nintendo video games?

While McSweeney's does have a strong team, I decided to create on of my own. Though I would certainly trade for Simon Belmont (Castlevania) or Bald Bull (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out), I will create a completely new team of underrated talent.

Even though I would like to have Kevin (Home Alone), Scrooge McDuck (Ducktales), Lee Trevino (Fighting Golf), Michael Knight (Knight Rider), and Alex Trebek (Super Jeopardy) I didn't think that that would really be in keeping with the spirit of the question.

My lineup would be:

"Lance" from Super Contra (C)

There's no better way to throw off an oponent than by having someone named Lance come to the plate first. With that flashy spiked red hair, no pitcher could keep his cool with that 60 feet away. Not only this, but I expect that he would also be able to do some pretty solid trash talking from behind the plate. Throw in the "up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-start" cheat to give him extra pitches and he'll be unstoppable

"The Hero" from Faxanadu (CF)

Who's going to get up the line faster than "The Hero"? He's in great shape from wandering around the countryside carrying dozens of daggers and supplies while slaying dragons. He's a hero after all. If you can chop a dragon's head off, centerfield will be a breeze.

"Zitz" or possibly "Rash" from Battletoads (1B)

You've got to have someone hilarious on first base. That's the only way to make the pick off move work. Lull the baserunner into laughter induced tears and then catch them off the bag.

"Bub" or "Bob" from Bubble Bobble (LF)

While perhaps a little non-traditional in the outfield, I believe that either bubble blowing dinosaur would make an excellent outfielder. For one they can bounce on their own bubble getting to balls they have no business catching; and two if in doubt they can entrap the ball in a bubble let it float indefinitely until they catch it. Not known for basepath speed, "Bub" makes an ideal cleanup man because he's able to enbubble the pitch and hit is as if it were on a tee.

"Lizzie" from Rampage (3B)

Nothing's getting down the line with Lizzie at third. She and Ryu a short make for an impenetrable and frightening left infield.

"Solid Snake" from Metal Gear (RF)

I see lots of potential in Solid Snake, almost as if he's going to be around for years, and perhaps even make a comeback after retirement. A solid baseball tactician, Solid Snake will always make the right play to put his team first.

"Ryu" from Ninja Gaiden (SS)

You need an acrobat at short and Ryu fits the bill. Will use stealth to get behind runners at second and when you're in as good a shape as he is, you can pretty much put him anywhere. You've gotta have a ninja on your team in this day and age.

"Mike Jones" from Star Tropics (2B)

Little Mike jones only wants to visit his Uncle when he takes his yo-yo and battles abducting aliens. If he can control a baseball bat with as much success, I'm sure he'll be a welcomed asset to this team. Maybe a long shot here, but I'll put him in at the relatively safe second base or maybe let him warm up in the minors.

"Super Joe" from Bionic Commando (P)

He's got a bionic arm for goodness sakes! No one is going to be able to hit off a guy with a bionic arm! I would argue that Jim Abbott would still be in the league today if he had had access to a bionic arm. Super Joe is our number one starter and that's all there is too it.

In the pen:

"Billy" from Double Dragon (P)

Good at throwing boxes, garbage cans, and pipes, so I don't see why he wouldn't be able to throw a baseball. He's someone I would want on the mound for intimidation reasons, and no one's charging that's for sure.

Any one of the fat guys from Ice Hockey (P)

If Roger Clemens can do it so can these guys.

"The Paperboy" from Paperboy (P)

This kid's been throwing his whole life. Durablility and accuracy defined. Exactly what you want in a middle reliever.

While I know that McSweeney's has a great team, I think that our boys (and female dinosaurs) have got enough to give them a run for their money. What's important is that we go out there and play as a team. We don't want to let our coaches fans down, but we've really got to give the other team a lot of credit.

Manic Monday Maidservice

I am in the middle of my weekend, and I spent the day getting my life in order. I work 10 days on and four days off so every two weeks I have a four day long weekend. I just happened to catch a shift that started half way through the cycle.

This morning I sent a few emails, and discovered that I have been eliminated from the playoffs in my hockey pool. I known that that was coming for over a month, so I'm not too broken up about it.

I finished my book this morning and decided that I would go to Chapters to get another one. Normally, I wouldn't shop at Chapters, but I was given a $30 gift card for Christmas and a $25 gift card for my birthday, and I would rather spend someone else's money than put books on my credit card.

The problem is that I can't find the first one. I know that I've seen it around my house but I just can't put my fingers on it. I looked around my apartment and decided that I needed to find the card, but I looked around that apartment and realized that the only way that I could possibly find the card was to clean up.

Though I am normally very neat and tidy, and most people wouldn't say that my apartment was all that messy, but must admit that I have kind of let things slide a bit lately.

I began by cleaning the litter box. I decided to pitch all the old litter and wash out the pan with Mr. Clean and very hot water. Then I scrubbed the shower and sink as well as the toilet and all of its associated mess. I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the bathroom floor. I washed the bathmat and washed down the walls and ceiling.

With that unpleasantness out of the way, I dusted the apartment, cleaned the kitchen, and then vaccumed. Things look quite a lot better than they did and my bathroom smells lemon fresh.

After all that I couldn't find the gift card. I have no idea where I put it, but it certainly is safe.

I was supposed to go to away tomorrow to take care of my car insurance nightmare, but I just can't bear it. I'll make some phone calls tomorrow to see what I can put together, but I just can't face giving up my car tomorrow and taking the train from Kingston. That doesn't seem like the way I should be spending my day off (Neither does going to work and finishing my course, but I did that yesterday).

Very Bored, I Think (And Hope)

This morning was a tad brtual. I woke up checked my mail and then went back to bed. I read a few chapters of David Gilmour's A Perfect Night to Go to China. Here's a perfect excerpt on how I felt at the time:

"It was a long weekend, and just thinking about all that empty, unstructured time put me into a panic...It was a friendly enough world; there just didn't seem to be anyone in it. A tall kid on a bicycle rode slowly down the street; you could tell he was just killing time, too. Waiting for Monday morning. No, worse, Tuesday morning. I forgot. There was another day of this. I looked at my watch. It seemed to have stopped; maybe it was slow. I looked at the second hand. It was moving. But how could only fifteen minutes have lapsed? It seemed so much longer" (70-71).

I have two more days before I'm back to work, and I didn't think that I would get to this point but I am so anxious to go back and be busy that I think that I just might go in tomorrow.

I finished reading and as I lay staring up at the ceiling I began to notice the crooked paint line. I noticed the bumps in the plaster and the nail holes I hadn't patched. My eyes glazed over into sleep and I closed my eyes. There wasn't anything that I was going to do about the walls or the paintjob. I could see the grey-red of the lamplight through my closed eyelids and I took comfort in knowing that I was going to fall asleep with the light on. I would wake up with a collar moist from sweat and a groggy and swimming head.

As I was about to drift off, opened my eyes in a fit. "What are you doing, you idiot? It's 11:36 in the morning. You can't be napping at 11:36! Get your lazy, sorry-for-yourself ass up and out of bed. You've got to get out of this house and do something or you're going to regret it and feel even worse. Moron!"

So I decided to get up. I knew that I wouldn't be able to accomplish anything if I stayed in my apartment. I was not going to go upstairs and work on renovations by myself for the day. I have one more unit of my course to finish so I decided that I would work on that and get it out of the way. It is due on the 23rd, but I didn't want it hanging over me anymore.

So it was decided. I'd sit down and work. I walked to my computer but before I got into the room, I knew that I couldn't face it. I knew that I would get up every six minutes and wander through the apartment. I'd open up the fridge, not find anything interesting, and then wander back. What I needed was to go out and feel like I was at least doing something. I knew that I had to leave. Where? I didn't want to bother anyone. I needed an Internet connection and a quiet place to read and think. I didn't want to pay to sit at an Internet cafe and be a nerd. I decided that I would go to work. No one would care. I knew that one of my coworkers was working today, but she wouldn't care if I was at my desk.

I needed to work, but mostly I needed to not be by myself in my apartment. I needed to know that I was in a place with other people. I didn't intend to talk to any of them but I needed to know that there were other people somewhere.

I packed my papers up and walked to work. There wasn't any problem getting into the building; my security card gets me in everywhere. At the last second, though, I thought about not going into the office. I didn't know what I would say when I would be asked, "What are you doing here?" On my way back to the elevator I thought, "Come on, you just walked for 45 minutes to get here and now you're going to run away because you don't want anyone to know that you can't work at home and need to feel like you're accomplishing something? Just make something up, Mr Creative."

I did just that. I knew that she didn't know me very well and wouldn't be able to tell that I was lying. I walked in said hello and said, "I have to work on my online course and my Internet is down. It's due tomorrow. I didn't know what else to do."

She smiled and nodded, but I know she thinks I'm crazy for going to work when I don't have to be there. I don't care what she thinks. Well I do, but I'm comfortable enough with my quirks to not care if she thinks I'm strange. She was nice about it and I went to my desk and started working. I finished 4 units, but because The Ministry of Education's website wasn't working I wasn't able to finish Unit 5. Unit 6 was a final course reflection and I figured that I should wait until the end of the course to actually write it. In all I worked for about 3 hours. It wasn't glamourous, but I did get something done. I did get out of the house, I did get some sunshine, and was able to walk around outside without a jacket.

It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when George rented a movie to watch at Jerry's house: "When I watch a movie at home, I don't feel like I'm doing anything. This way I'm out of the house; I'm doing something."

When I got back home, I sent some emails and started cooking up a batch of chili. I resisted the temptation to get french fries and greasy food, and thought that I should cook a meal for myself. I watched Pulp Fiction during the prepartation, eating, and cleanup.

I caught the last moments of the CBC miniseries, Prairie Giant: The Tommy Douglas Story. If you watched it you would have seen George Stroumboulopoulos hosting. I captioned all of his segments. I took some satisfaction from seeing my work on national television.

Another Saturday Night

I bought myself a brand new keyboard on Wednesday. The CTRL key on my old one was sticking as was a bunch of other keys, which made it quite difficult for me to really let things loose and to be truly free on the old blog. Now I'm jammin' with some ultra fast typing and a more free writing style. My sister gave me a gift certificate at Best Buy and I bought a new Microsoft keyboard for a whopping $14.95

I had my first realisation today that I am over 30 when I had to fill out one of those annoying registration forms. I went from the 24-29 category to the illustrious 30-34. It was surprisingly okay, and really not that difficult since I really don't feel old.

I spent most of today chillaxing and doing some writing. It wasn't the best way to spend a free Saturday afternoon, and I managed to have a few drinks while watching the Leafs try to save their ridiculous season. I will eat a pair of my boxers if they actually make the playoffs.

As for Brian's comment, regarding my license situation, I really can't explain. I was caught speeding twice. They were absolutely mind-blowing tickets that were completely unwarranted. I know for a fact that the OPP have much more serious things to worry about than to give me a ticket for going 11 kms over the limit. Nevertheless, I was caught and I was speeding and I thought that rather than burdening the justice system and costing the taxpayers more money, that I would simply plead guilty and pay the tickets.

It turns out that that was a big mistake and I have been totally burned with a bunch of demerit points and this interview. My Mom got the same interview a mere three weeks before she died, and she said it was a total joke. I wish that they had taken her license away, dammit.

Anyway, I have to go in, and I also have to find out exactly why I have received these points, I don't believe that I actually deserve them, but I still have to suffer the consequences anyway. I did get a letter about 4 months ago that said that I had 7 points, but I have been totally good since then and I honestly don't know why I have been given these extra points. Stupid Ontario. I lived in Quebec for 8 years and drove 40kms over the limit at all times and didn't get a ticket once.

I still have Saskatchewan plates, because I only pay $105 a month for insurance. Sadly, that expires at the end of March. If I could figure out a way to keep it I would, but I have to investigate getting Ontario insurance and I know that with 9 points that is either going to be extremely expensive or impossible. I have already risgined myself to the fact that I will have to leave my car at my Dad's house until I make a lot more money or some of these points clear. I think that this is the real reason that I'm not too concerned about the interview since I know that I won't really need a driver's license since I'm going to have to give up driving a car because of the stupid private insurance. Again, stupid Ontario and thier idiotic enforcement of the dumb rules.

New Music Man

There are a few things that I look forward to.

I look forward to new episodes of "Lost". I look forward to watching "The Amazing Race." I am always so disappointed when they run a repeat or a recap episode.

I think, though, that I look most forward each week to CBC Radio 3's Podcast. This piece of musical gold is double deep fried and then coated with thick milk chocolate put atop on a big scoop of all-natural vanilla ice cream and topped with bright colourful sprinkles.

I am listening regularly to a few tracks that I picked up from them. They are:

Eccodek: Space Dub (episode 37)
Destroyer: Rubies (episode 36)
Abdominal: Ugly Brother (episode 41)

The catchiest song that I've heard in a long while is definitely "The Truth About Cats and Dogs is That They Die" by Pony Up from this week's episode (42). I very highly recommend giving it a listen. Hey, it was enough to not make be freak out when I got a letter from the Ministry of Transport informing me that I have over 9 demerit points and will have to go in for an interview regarding possible license suspension.

Relax...It's Blogging 101

Despite the dour tone of my last post, things are alright. Please don't panic. Please don't stop what you're doing and draft up a passionate email.

Even though things have been difficult lately, there have also been a lot of wonderful things that have happened to me. I sometimes forget those things but am fully aware that they have made me a better person.

As I sit here, at 3:09 in the morning, with a few hours before work, having had a few drinks and some embarrassing conversation, I am struck by the absurdity of this blog. I use this as a way to express myself and sometimes as a way to vent. As a good friend said in a rather flustered phone message (under his breath, by the way), "It's very honest."

My blog is exactly that. I don't hide too much from the world. I recognize how twisted it is to post about such things as Cancer, death, and failed relationships, but there is something oddly satisfying about posting it for the world to see. I don't believe that my life is a particularly unusual one, but I do take some (perhaps painful) pleasure in explaining to the world who I am and what I'm going through.

Though I know that my blog is read mainly by those who know me, I hope that all who visit find it interesting, at times funny, and worthwhile. To be honest, I don't really mind why it is you are here, but am thankful that during this difficult year, I have documented all my ups and downs. Hey, it might be worth something some day!

Dear John...

Have a look at the picture over there on the right. That, my friends, that is a broken man. Well, maybe not the one in the picture but you get the idea. I am a broken man.

There's really no escaping it. There's no point trying to cover it up from the world, because it's just so obvious. There's no need to sugar-coat it. There's no need for me to hide it from you my fair reader. I don't care if the world reads this and knows. Hell, I want the world to do something to help me! I damn well know that I can't do it myself!

Bad news comes in threes and I just got my third dose. At least, I suppose, I can start looking forward to some sunshine around the corner.

This has, without a shadow of doubt, been the worst year of my life. A failed relationship two days after my 29th birthday, a move halfway across the country, leaving a group of people who cared about me and respected who I was and what I was doing, being shutout from a career that I love, being forced to government dole, mooching off my father, the rejection letters-- my God-- the rejection letters, having Cancer strike my sister, my mother dying in a horrific car accident, finishing last in my hockey pool, and now another failed relationship 6 days after my 30th birthday.

"Let's go ladies! Get in line for this guy! He's got it all!"

I'm a broken man, and there isn't much else to say. I don't know how this will turn around, but even though I am enjoying work it's only the first week and I know that its tedious repetition is going to drag me down in time.

I've considered packing it all up and moving far away. Maybe Africa to help those who really need it. Maybe get a job in the English countryside where I can swing down to the pub in the evening and come back home to a thick feather mattress with flannel sheets and a hot water bottle. Maybe I will just walk the earth and meet people like Caine in Kung-Fu.

I can't leave my father alone, though, and I'll bet that I can't face things by myself. I'm not sure what I need at the moment, but I do know that I have to make damn sure that I get myself standing again quickly or I might never recover. I don't want to be one of those guys that gets old and fat and wonders what the hell happened to his life. Maybe I'm already on that path? Please tell me how to avoid this. I'm begging you.

Tuesday Means Something Now

I'm not exactly sure why my feet are sore today but they are. I wasn't on my feet all day yesterday. Not like teaching when you are standing for the whole day. One day, at my school in Saskatchewan, I wore one of those step counters that you used to get from the cereal boxes. During the school day, I walked over 16000 steps which translates to about 12 kilometres.

I went to bed early last night, but got up early enough to get a few things done. I was able to finish my taxes, but I wasn't eligible to file them electronically, so I have to send everything in. That means photocopying and delays. I guess it's not the worst thing in the world. I am expecting a refund after all.

Other than the sore feet, my brain has quieted a bit. My headaches are still bothering me and I had a wicked one last night. I think that a stop at Shoppers is a good idea; keep a bottle of ibuprofen in the old desk. I need to pick up some tissues too since I sneezed like crazy yesterday. I guess it's dusty. It probably didn't help that I was fiddling with wires and computer cables underneath my desk yesterday. The girl next to me is moving to a new office so that probably spit a ton of dust around too.

I guess it's shower time, and then my tax documents and I have a date with a photocopier.

End of Day One

My head feels quite mushy right now; I've just had so much information today.

I can't really explain exactly what happened today since most of it has been a blur of fancy software programs, elaborate computer systems and repetition. At this stage, I'm slowly learning the ins and outs of the job.

There isn't too much else to say. Everything is so novel at the moment that it all seems exciting and fun. I'm sure that that won't last forever, but it is nice to be doing something completely new and different. I'm not terrible at it, and I think that I will pick it up relatively quickly.

I'm tired now, and I need to sleep. I'm heading to bed to read for a while and then sleep. I'm looking forward to a regular routine, and not feeling quite so exhausted at the end of the day. I guess that that comes with time.

Work: Day 1

I'm just heading off to work. I have to be there at noon to get my passcard and ID. I've never had a passcard before. I've never worked in an office before. I've never had my very own cubicle. I was thinking that I should decorate it with family photographs and stuffed animals.

I have no idea what to expect, but I am happy with the free mornings. I was able to send a bunch of email, go grocery shopping, return my empties, make a few phone calls, and start a load of laundry.

Name That House 3

I know that it's been a while, but here's the latest installment of Name That House. I think that this one's a real stumper. Enjoy!

Nugget's Salvage, Inc.

I've got absolutely nothing today. I got up early this morning to go to a job fair. It was a grueling morning of selling myself, sucking up, and being phony. Things weren't altogether bad, but it wasn't exactly the way that I wanted to spend my Saturday morning. You've gotta do what you gotta do.

I was supposed to play poker this afternoon, but I chickened out at the last minute. It was a $50 buy-in so that was a big factor, but the key to my decision was that there were supposed to be 30+ players. The prize breakdown was 50% to the winner and 25% to second place. The money was good, but finishing first or second is a pretty tall order with 30 players, and I didn't feel like throwing away 50 bucks. I'm sure that it would have been a fun afternoon and a great time, but I just didn't feel like I could justify it.

Instead, I had a 2pm breakfast. I was embarrassed by the fact that I had planned to pay with a credit card, but found out that they only accepted cash: Moochy moochy. When I arrived home, I was planning to go upstairs and paint, but instead had a three and a half hour nap. How lazy is that?

I watched the Leafs get stomped out of playoff contention, and now I've decided that the only way that I can really salvage this afternoon and evening is to actually go upstairs and paint for a while. It's not glamourous and it certainly isn’t the best way to spend my last Saturday of unemployment, but that's the way it's got to be.

Course Work

I just finished the fourth unit of my course. I was waiting around for some people to finish Activity 5 so that I could respond to their answers. I thought that this might be a good time to share a typical assignment since people commonly ask me what the course is all about.

Assignment

As teachers, we are always concerned with the writing skills of our students. When not working on school assignments, students engage in writing that is uniquely different from classroom writing. We need to know and understand how they write and communicate outside the classroom in order to make them understand how to write for different purpose and audience.

1. Read the article on Wired Teens by Kris Axtman to understand the language used by students outside school. Then, discover what are Emoticons (emotions + icons)?

2. Based on what you read, define literacy as you understand it, in one paragraph.

3. Post your definition in the discussion list.

4. Respond to the definition of two other colleagues.

My Answer

Literacy is much more than the ability to read and write. There is more to literacy than simply being able to read words and scrawl them down on paper. To be truly literate, one must understand the audience and the purpose for reading and writing. A writer must know for whom she is writing and why she is writing, just as the reader must be aware of why the writer might be making particular choices. This deals with aspects of bias, construction, and aesthetics. Literacy is communication, and must deal not only with reading and writing, but all forms of communication such as information technology and mass media. To be truly literate, we must recognize that communication is different in different cultures and societies and that the definitions of literacy may change in these societies. Literacy is not only being able to communicate, but understanding that there is more to communication than words and meaning.

The Responses I Received

1) That is correct - literacy transcends beyond words and meaning. Literacy is multi-faceted and lends itself to a variety of interpretations.

2) I agree totally! In my definition of literacy, I address the fact that literacy is the ability to communicate. Therefore, the teens about whom we have read are very literate! I especially like what you said about understanding one's audience and being able to communicate specifically for that audience. It reminds me of our media discussions earlier in this EC - one constructs meaning in conjunction with the media piece itself. Therefore, students have learned to construct specific understandings in relation to cyber speech. Internet being the medium, teens have learned to function within this realm.

Someone Else's Answer

[I had in this space some else's work, but decided to remove it since I haven't asked for permission to publish it. Sorry. --Ed.]

My Response to Their Work

I have no problem with communication and the way that language develops, but I think that there is a tremendous problem if there is this drastic difference between the communication of young and old (for lack of better terms).

If we work with youth, we must become literate on all aspects of youth culture. We cannot be experts, but we need to know what's going on. Communication can be used as a way of marginalizing people. Those who don't know the lingo are excluded. This has been well documented throughout history. I think that young people love using this "chat-speech" because they can communicate with their peers while knowing that their parents don't understand what they are saying.

You need only look at the history of African-American music to understand the relationship between marginalization and the development of new forms of communication. Those who feel marginalized by society develop ways to express their discontent while functioning within that society (in order to avoid further marginalization). I found this at wikipedia.com with regards to spirituals:

"While slaveowners used Christianity to teach slaves to be long-suffering, forgiving and obedient to their masters, as practiced by slaves, it became a kind of liberation theology. The story of Moses and The Exodus of the "children of Israel" and the idea of an Old Testament warrior God who struck down the enemies of His "chosen people" resonated deeply with slaves ("He's a battleaxe in time of war and a shepherd in time of the storm"). In black hands and hearts, Christian theology became an instrument of liberation.

So, too, in many instances did the spirituals themselves. Spirituals sometimes provided comfort and eased the boredom of daily tasks, but above all, they were an expression of spiritual devotion and a yearning for freedom from bondage. In song, lyrics about the Exodus were a metaphor for freedom from slavery. Songs like "Steal Away (to Jesus)", or "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" raised unexpectedly in a dusty field, or sung softly in the dark of night, signalled that the coast was clear and the time to escape had come. The River Jordan became the Ohio River, or the Mississippi, or another body of water that had to be crossed on the journey to freedom. “Wade in the Water” contained explicit instructions to fugitive slaves on how to avoid capture and the route to take to successfully make their way to freedom.[1] Leaving dry land and taking to the water was a common strategy to throw pursuing bloodhounds off one's trail. “The Gospel Train”, and “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” all contained veiled references to the Underground Railroad, and "Follow the Drinking Gourd" contained a coded map to the Underground Railroad. The title itself was a reference to the Big Dipper, which pointed the way to the North Star and freedom." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spirituals)

I think that if we look carefully at communication from a historical perspective, we can draw many links to today's modern technology-inspired communication. We, as teachers, better be willing to learn, and learn quickly, if we do not want to be marginalized ourselves.

Happy Birthday!

Today is my 30th birthday, and it's seeming less and less likely that there's going to be a surprise party. Don't worry, I wasn't expecting one. I had my party last Saturday and that was worth it.

Today wasn't an unusual day except that I am completely busting. Last night after a tough evening of driving through the city, I had an epiphany. It's something that I've been waiting for for a long time, but I had it and I can't believe how happy I am that it's come. I've really been floundering, but I've come to that moment when everything seems to be alright.

I didn't do too much today. My birthday dinner was at The Burger Shack. I had a homeburger and shared some fries. I brought my Crystal Hot Sauce and was ready to rock. If you're not bringing your own hot sauce for your fries then you're not really living. You've got to bring your own sauce; you've got to. The burger was amazing, and though the fries weren't as crispy as I would have liked, the hot sauce made them worthwhile.

I played some free poker today and though I was off to a great start, I had too much too drink and ended up making some dumb moves. Anyone who has played poker with me knows enough to get me drinking; at that point I just throw my chips away. That's good advice: don't drink.

Anyway, I had a good birthday. My great present is a skiing trip next weekend. It should be great to get away and have some fun without feeling guilty about not earning it. That's the nice thing about having a job: no laziness shame and no guilt for enjoying yourself.

My Life Got Flipped Turned Upsidedown

There comes a point during unemployment when you begin to seriously question yourself and your decisions. When you begin to wonder if you really are the person you think you are. When you have been ignored and rejected for so long that you end up deciding that you really do suck.

It's at that point when you decide to change things up a bit. When I hit that point, I decided to apply for jobs that I didn't believe that I was qualified for and jobs that I didn't think that I deserved. Jobs that I didn't care about. Jobs that I had no business even considering. Jobs that would put the public in danger if I actually was hired.

Perhaps, the most fun part about hitting that stage of unemployment is the total lack of effort and seriousness that you put into writing cover letters. They quickly stop being about trying to get the job, but about trying to get away with saying stuff that you wouldn't say if you actually cared (read: had any self-esteem left). Here's the cover letter I submitted to the CBC:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I apply for a job at the CBC for a wide variety of reasons some of which are, no doubt, more interesting than others.

To be perfectly honest, I've fallen on some hard times. After returning to Ontario after two years of teaching in Saskatchewan, I was horrified to discover that I did not have the piece of paper that would allow me to teach senior English. While I would hope to return to the classroom some day, a part of me is sickened and disheartened by a system that purportedly cries out for teachers, and yet will not hire a qualified, caring, passionate teacher simply because I do not have a piece of paper. What makes it all the more maddening is that I am qualified and certified in both Quebec and Saskatchewan, and that this piece of paper is a unique-to-Ontario government doctrine that, in my opinion, hurts Ontario students.

Nevertheless, I have two university degrees (Arts (English), and Education) and am not only highly educated, but am a creative thinker and problem solver who can also use his head outside of academia.

I have been an avid viewer and listener to the CBC since I was a boy. I remember being able to tell the time of day simply by turning on the radio and identifying the voice and her/his show. I am a devoted listener and believe that I have a kinship with the mandate of the corporation.

I know that I can make a positive contribution to our national broadcaster. I am highly curious, intensely devoted, and a quick study which I believe will make me a great addition to the CBC.

Perhaps this cover letter isn't all bad, but the supplementary comments, I thought, were a little too much:

I have already had a variety of careers despite being under 30. I suppose that this is the trend these days as hipsters jump around trying to find something they love.

I hope that the CBC gives me this job so I can stop this hideous search.

Nevertheless, it was this application that seems to have stood out enough for a test, an interview, and, yes, an employment offer.

I went in today, and it was one of those interviews that you know isn't really an interview at all, but is an explanation of the job that they have, essentially, already given me. I'm not sure exactly why I was chosen over the other candidates, and it makes me a little nervous that I might be getting into something unpleasant. I mean I couldn't have been the only person who spelled "occasionally" right on the spelling test. I couldn't have been the only one who noticed the you're/your error on the grammar test.

Still, I don't see any reason why I wouldn't take this job; except for the fact that I will be working. I will work from 1pm until 9pm with dinner and breaks. I will be working a maximum of 38.5 hours per week. The schedule is based on 14 days which will involve 10 days on and 4 days off. Anything above 38.5 hours will pay time and a half. I will have dental and medical as well. I probably shouldn't publish the salary, but it's enough. You could probably find it by simple google search, or through the access to information act if it means that much to you.

The job will not be hugely intellectually stimulating, I don't expect, as I will simply have to type all day. It sounds like there will be some very stressful times, but that's why bars were invented. I will have work piled up on my desk and a lot of demands, but I don't think that it will be anything that I can't handle.

At any rate, it will be nice to be out of the house and doing something. After all, I will be paid to watch television all day. I just have to make sure that I don't type an "i" in sentence: "Could you give me your pens, please?"