Fantasy Fantasy Baseball

With my recent basement dwelling on my hockey pool, I decided that I might be better of with baseball, and I know that I would be better when it comes to drafting this lineup. I came across this via The Nonist via kottke.org via McSweeney's:

What would your ideal fantasy-baseball lineup be if you had to create it using only characters from classic Nintendo video games?

While McSweeney's does have a strong team, I decided to create on of my own. Though I would certainly trade for Simon Belmont (Castlevania) or Bald Bull (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out), I will create a completely new team of underrated talent.

Even though I would like to have Kevin (Home Alone), Scrooge McDuck (Ducktales), Lee Trevino (Fighting Golf), Michael Knight (Knight Rider), and Alex Trebek (Super Jeopardy) I didn't think that that would really be in keeping with the spirit of the question.

My lineup would be:

"Lance" from Super Contra (C)

There's no better way to throw off an oponent than by having someone named Lance come to the plate first. With that flashy spiked red hair, no pitcher could keep his cool with that 60 feet away. Not only this, but I expect that he would also be able to do some pretty solid trash talking from behind the plate. Throw in the "up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-start" cheat to give him extra pitches and he'll be unstoppable

"The Hero" from Faxanadu (CF)

Who's going to get up the line faster than "The Hero"? He's in great shape from wandering around the countryside carrying dozens of daggers and supplies while slaying dragons. He's a hero after all. If you can chop a dragon's head off, centerfield will be a breeze.

"Zitz" or possibly "Rash" from Battletoads (1B)

You've got to have someone hilarious on first base. That's the only way to make the pick off move work. Lull the baserunner into laughter induced tears and then catch them off the bag.

"Bub" or "Bob" from Bubble Bobble (LF)

While perhaps a little non-traditional in the outfield, I believe that either bubble blowing dinosaur would make an excellent outfielder. For one they can bounce on their own bubble getting to balls they have no business catching; and two if in doubt they can entrap the ball in a bubble let it float indefinitely until they catch it. Not known for basepath speed, "Bub" makes an ideal cleanup man because he's able to enbubble the pitch and hit is as if it were on a tee.

"Lizzie" from Rampage (3B)

Nothing's getting down the line with Lizzie at third. She and Ryu a short make for an impenetrable and frightening left infield.

"Solid Snake" from Metal Gear (RF)

I see lots of potential in Solid Snake, almost as if he's going to be around for years, and perhaps even make a comeback after retirement. A solid baseball tactician, Solid Snake will always make the right play to put his team first.

"Ryu" from Ninja Gaiden (SS)

You need an acrobat at short and Ryu fits the bill. Will use stealth to get behind runners at second and when you're in as good a shape as he is, you can pretty much put him anywhere. You've gotta have a ninja on your team in this day and age.

"Mike Jones" from Star Tropics (2B)

Little Mike jones only wants to visit his Uncle when he takes his yo-yo and battles abducting aliens. If he can control a baseball bat with as much success, I'm sure he'll be a welcomed asset to this team. Maybe a long shot here, but I'll put him in at the relatively safe second base or maybe let him warm up in the minors.

"Super Joe" from Bionic Commando (P)

He's got a bionic arm for goodness sakes! No one is going to be able to hit off a guy with a bionic arm! I would argue that Jim Abbott would still be in the league today if he had had access to a bionic arm. Super Joe is our number one starter and that's all there is too it.

In the pen:

"Billy" from Double Dragon (P)

Good at throwing boxes, garbage cans, and pipes, so I don't see why he wouldn't be able to throw a baseball. He's someone I would want on the mound for intimidation reasons, and no one's charging that's for sure.

Any one of the fat guys from Ice Hockey (P)

If Roger Clemens can do it so can these guys.

"The Paperboy" from Paperboy (P)

This kid's been throwing his whole life. Durablility and accuracy defined. Exactly what you want in a middle reliever.

While I know that McSweeney's has a great team, I think that our boys (and female dinosaurs) have got enough to give them a run for their money. What's important is that we go out there and play as a team. We don't want to let our coaches fans down, but we've really got to give the other team a lot of credit.