Misery Routine

I know why the traffic situation in the city is so terrible, because I went through the agony of using our public so-called transportation yesterday. The only enjoyable part of it was when I was walking and not actually using the TTC.

I walked down to Silver Snail to pick up an Uglydoll for my neice. I figure that in a house full of Disney Store and Baby Gap, she needed something a little different and a lot cooler. I then walked east to University and turned north to go to the opticians to pick up my new glasses. The only problem was that I walked up to College before I realized that the opticians was one block south of Queen at King. Anyway, I got to the store and tried on my glasses only to find that the tinting was far too dark (they were sunglasses!), and that they needed to be redone. So, I wait again.

I hopped on the King streetcar to begin my journey to the doctor's office/sports medicine clinic. The car was completely packed and after a few stops, I noticed that the back was less congested. I pushed through a gaggle of unhappy people and had a little more space to breathe. I got off at Bathurst and without waiting, headed north on the streetcar to Bathurst station. I transferred to the bus and got off at Glencairn. The ride lasted about 45 minutes. I was 20 minutes late for my appointment because of the traffic problems at Bathurst and Eglinton, but they managed to squeeze me in without too much trouble. It turns out that I have a strained gluteus medius. (And now I've told the world that I have a broken butt.)

The next plan was to head south to Union Station to catch the GO Train to Ajax for the birthday party. I waited and waited for the bus to arrive and eventually it did. It was one of the new buses and I just have to say that they are one of the most poorly designed pieces of machinery I have ever seen. Sure, they do a lot of fancy tricks that I appreciate immensely, but they don't do a very good job at transporting people. There are shockingly few seats on these buses and the back of the bus is so cramped for space that most people don't even bother with it. It is also raised with a very narrow aisle which makes getting out very tricky. There is a large open area in the middle of the bus, but there are very few bars or handles to use and most people slosh around like milk in a bowl. They block anyone from getting to the seats in the back section, so instead of having 50 people in a regular-sized bus, they now have 50 people in what is ostensibly half a bus. Stinky people I should point out.

Now I can hardly blame the TTC for the discourteousness and idiocy of its patrons (the poor bastards have to deal with them everyday), but perhaps the engineers should have considered the flaw in their design. When given the choice between sitting in a cramped seat with a narrow aisle that may cause you to miss your stop, and standing in a large open area by the door there is no choice. I don't know what can be done about people moving to the back, but the designer who can do that will make a real mark on the public transport game.

I did make it back to the subway, and the lines of people to get on were maddening. These were very unhappy people trying to get home. They were pushy and wouldn't let us exit the bus. There was a thin aisle lined with the cold blank stare of commuters who know nothing of putting others first. I blame this on bad parenting which is especially sad since most probably were parents themselves.

I descended into the subway and headed west, transferred at St. George and made it to Union Station. I was too late to catch the 5:13 bus, but I noticed that there was a train at 5:33 that was heading east, so I jumped on. I discovered that it only went as far as Pickering and so I returned to the station and farted around until 5:53 and then got on the right train. If you've got time to kill and want to have a few laughs, just wander around the GO Train station at rushhour trying to make yourself as large and as clueless as possible while everyone rushes around in a panic. Oh wait, don't do that, because everyone else down there does that already! Better yet, just make sure you get there early, grab a seat, and watch the sparks fly.

What a group of people on that train. The human equivalent to gingerbread men going to their gingerbread houses. Most tried sleeping, and a few had middle-class conversations. I worked on a Kakuro and then read a book. I was stunned at how few people were reading on the train.

My sister picked me up at the train station and then it took us ten minutes to get out of the parking lot. Not only had I just spent most of the last four hours on public tranport, but now I had to wait in traffic. Eventually, we made it to her house, but each minute that went by brought me closer to facing it all again.

I was tired, bored, frustrated, and baffled at how people can do that every day. It wasn't until I got home before I realized that I had my iPod in my pocket and I could have been listening to it during all that drudgery. It made me think that I was more foolish than the fools I was following.

Talking Heads - The Big Country

Big Day Coming

Today would have been my Mom and Dad's 36th wedding anniversary. I called my Dad and he seems to be doing fine. He said that he was thinking about his granddaughter's birthday tomorrow instead of his absent anniversary. I think that that's a good plan.

I'm heading out to the birthday party tomorrow, but before I do, I have to get a present and then go to the doctor's office. I still haven't been out for a run since the 30k in August and even though my hip is feeling better, it is still tender. I want to be a foolish man and just ignore it, but the caring people around me have told me to see a doctor and get it checked out. I don't want it healing improperly, and since I can't really run on it at all, I do think that it's a good idea. Sadly, my dream of completing a marathon and qualifying for Boston has died for this year. I was bummed to realize on Saturday that it was race day and I should have met my goal but was taking a shower at 2:30 in the afternoon. That was sad, but hopefully things will be sorted out tomorrow.

My new glasses still haven't arrived. It has been almost two weeks and I'm growing increasingly impatient. Maybe tomorrow.

Seat Flying

I had a great accidental evening last night. I had made plans, but they fell through at the last minute, but then a friend called and I met he and his wife for drinks. We had a few drinks and chatted about life the universe and everything.

Today was spent not doing much of anything. I watched some television which was nice for a change. I haven't had cable since January and I haven't missed it. When my new roommate moved in he tried to lived without television, but caved in about three days. Though I told him that I'd split it with him, I haven't watched it very much since it arrived last Saturday. I find that I don't need to watch it anymore. Most of it is garbage anyway. I think that only disadvantage to not watching is that I'm missing out on a lot of possible pop culture references and Trivial Pursuit answers.

I don't have much in the way of plans this week. I have a birthday party to go to on Wednesday. It's my niece's first birthday, and while I'm not anxious for the GO Train ride to Ajax, the promise of Dairy Queen ice cream cake has assured my attendance. Other than that, things are a little uncertain for the week. I don't have solid plans, but I'm going to leave open the possibility of being able to do anything.

K- Incomplete

I don't know how many posts I can start and then leave unfinished. Here are a few:

September 22, 2006
A good friend of mine is getting married in a couple of weeks and while I won't be able to attend the wedding, I would like to send along a gift. The only problem is that he lives in Mexico.

Now before you berate me for not going to a wedding in Mexico, I have already suffered enough punishment by trying to navigate the Liverpool website with my 14 words of Spanish. I already knew that Google translator is about as good as...

September 1st, 2006
Yesterday (and the past few days for that matter) was insane. I was up at 7:00 and working on getting myself moved which wasn't really moving as much as hauling stuff upstairs and dumping it into any free space. The house is a complete disaster with all my crap strewn everywhere.

I also had to finish cleaning the basement apartment and the upstairs apartment. In the top floor apartment was a 10 foot couch which was not possible to move. It belonged to someone else and had been in that apartment for many years as it was impossible to remove. I thought, "Not so bad, I'll just lower it off the balcony. So I rallied some friends together and bought some rope and prepared to drop a 10 foot couch off a third floor balcony.

Wisely, I was talked out of it. I was a little ticked at first because I wanted the job done, but it was 11:00 at night and I was in way over my head. I was convinced to go to sleep and to leave the couch until the clarity of the next morning.

I cleaned and cleaned and got everything organized, but still had to deal with the couch. I was all by myself so I was running out of ideas. Since this couch was garbage anyway, I decided to cut it in half. I got a hand saw and hacked it in two. A few funny comments the night before were: "Do you have a chainsaw?" and...

June 15th, 2006
Throughout the day, I usually come up with a ton of blog-worthy ideas, but then when it comes to sitting down and typing them out, I always forget them...

April 25th, 2006
My brief Monday and Tuesday off is drawing to a close. Next stop 9 days of work. It doesn't matter though. Payday is on Thursday and everything is brighter on payday...

April 23rd, 2006
I'm not convinced that my friends don't take me out just to get me drunk and to see what crazy stories I tell and what insane blog entries I post...

April 4th, 2006
Today was a real shock to the system. I was up at 6:15 and on the road by 7:15. I stayed over at my sister's house in Ajax last night so that I wouldn't have to face the DVP and eastbound 401 this morning. It was a smart move.

My interview went very well this morning. My lesson was all right, but nothing outstanding. I think that they just wanted to see how I interacted with the students and to see my demeanour in the classroom. I was surprisingly relaxed considering I haven't been in a classroom for almost six months. Like riding a bike, I guess.

The interview section was very good. I didn't get to the end and say, "Oh I should have said that!" or "I wish I hadn't said that!" All in all I am pleased with the way things went.

I think that the reason why I was more relaxed was because I had a bit of a problem when I arrived.

I was really rushed last night to get to my sister's house, and I forgot my toothbrush and razor. I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some disposable razors and a new toothbrush. That was no problem.

In my sister's house she has a regular bathroom but they only use their ensuite. Their regular bathroom, therefore, didn't have any toothpaste. I didn't want to bother them so I decided not to brush.

Just before I arrived at the school, I stopped at a Mac's Milk to pick up some toothpaste, but I was waterless...

February 27th, 2006
I just had one of those moments as described in The Streets' song, "It Was Supposed to Be So Easy."

I owned a house in Saskatoon before I moved to Ontario. I sold it on June 15th, 2005. There hasn't been any problem with the sale of the house, except that because of an incredible piece of bureaucracy, I was still being charged mortgage protection at the beginning of each month. So, I have been paying $32.11 each month since June 15th for a mortgage I didn't have. For some insane reason, FirstLine Mortgages doesn't inform Manulife Financial's Mortgage Protection Plan that the mortgage has been discharged.

When I realized that I had paid over $200 over the past 7 months, I decided that I would cancel the plan and get my money back. Simple right? It was supposed to be so easy.

In order to cancel the mortgage I needed to have a letter get my money back had to...

November 15th, 2006
It's hard not to feeluncomfortable while watching Noah Baubach's The Squid and the Whale. You watch the characters on screen and while a part of you hopes that they overcome the sadness of their own lives, but you sit helpless as things fall apart around them.

It isn't as if they don't deserve what's coming to them, though. Jeff Daniels plays, Bernard, a washed up writer and English professor who is jaded in the face of a world that who once embraced him. Bernard and his wife Joan, played by Laura Linney, are in the throes of a divorce which has a devastating impact upon their two sons, Walt and Frank...

October 19th, 2006
My weekend to Montreal was centred around seeing Death Cab For Cutie at the Spectrum. One does not really need a reason for visiting Montreal, but as excuses go, this is a good one...

Quickie

"I've got to have you right now."
"But I haven't got time."
"Just a quick one then."
"But I really don't have time."
"When we started this you would have made time for me."
"It's not that. I'm just busy."
"You used to make time for me."
"I make time for you."
"Not like you used to."
"What do you want from me?"
"I want you right now."
"I haven't got time, just look in the archives."
"The archives aren't enough. I want you right now."
"But I've got to take a shower, and get some jobs done."
"Give me a quick one and then take your shower."
"Ugh."
"You're not man enough to do it now are you?"
"I'm not man enough?"
"You're not creative enough to to satisfy me."
"I'm not creative enough?"
"Prove it."
"Fine."

[furious typing]

"Publish, you bastard."

Yo La Awesome

I e-picked up the new Yo La Tengo album this evening (legally) and am currently giving it the virgin listen. There's something about the first listen that you just can't ever get back. With music subsequent listens often improve a record's enjoyment, but the excitement of fresh tracks is pleasure enough. As the notes float by, I know that, sadly, this is now the moment when I will have the longest wait before listening to a new Yo La Tengo album and enjoying the fresh track excitement.

I saw them play many Octobers ago when I was living in Montreal. I wasn't excited about going because no one wanted to go with me and I had to sell my extra ticket to "the guys, that uh, sell the tickets for the sold-out events." I considered not going, and put it off for much of the evening. I sat there debating and debating in my head as I watched Sunday night television. In a fit of self-loathing, I decided to go. I felt like a loser going to a concert by myself, but weighed that against the loser feeling of watching television instead of going out to see one of my favourite bands in concert.

As I walked into one of the world's greatest concert venues, the Cabaret, the band was just taking the stage and kicked off with their version of The Simpson's theme. The next two-plus hours were pure bliss, and easily rank in my top three all-time concerts.

After being distracted a few times, and at the risk of revealing how long it takes me to finish a post, the album has drawn to a close. The long wait for the next album begins, but in the meantime I'm going to do my best to wear out these mp4s.

Here We Are

I haven't had a lot to write about. Actually, that a bald-faced lie, but I really just haven't made time to sit down and write. I should, but I haven't.

I recall wondering in the shower the other day about where razors can go next. I mean a razor used to be a single blade, and now they've managed to squeeze in five blades and one on the top for touch-ups. Can they put six? Ten? Twenty-five blades on a single razor? To use the words of Karl Pilkington, "Do we need 'em?"

I had my eyes tested today at the same place that Daniel Cook visited on his show. I didn't have the nerve to ask the doctor about it. I'm not sure how I feel about this Daniel Cook character, I want to dislike his eagerness, but I just can't. I find his show quite entertaining, and I enjoy watching it.

My eye test was fine. I'm sensitive to the eye dilating drops, and they stay open for over a week. The doctor was nice enough not to give them to me. My left eye had degenerated since my last visit five years ago. It is more than twice as poor as my right eye: -4.75 and -2.25.

I had found a pair of glasses that I liked and was all set to buy them once I got my prescription. There was an opticians attached and I had a wander around and found the same pair for $70 less, so I was quite happy about that. I'll be able to get them in about a week or so.

I'm reading Dave Eggers' "A Heartbreaking Work of Astonishing Genius" and will end this early because I'd rather be reading that than writing this.

Ticket to Ride

After working yesterday, I walked home and then loaded the following garbage into the truck:

1- 8 foot couch in two sections that had been sawed in half and lowered from the third floor balcony to the backyard.
8- cushions from the sawed couch which were particularly nasty since they had been left out in the rain.
2- large speakers.
1- chipboard and laminate bedside table.
14- pieces of chipboard and laminate from a disassembled wardrobe.
2- floor lamps
1- table lamp with shade
1- Ronco "Set It and Forget It" Rotisserie
1- Cuisinart
1- flour sifter
1- deep fryer
1- scanner
1- coffee maker
1- green plastic garbage can lid
1- green Rubbermaid container
1- mop

After moving and dealing with cleaning out the upstairs apartment, there was a lot of garbage, and since most of it couldn't be put into bags I had to take matters into my own hands.

With the truck loaded I headed out of the city to Muskoka. I filled up with gas at 75.7 cents per litre (I was chuffed to notice that it was 85.9 when I returned) and arrived just after midnight.

My cellphone alarm woke me up at 8:30 and I headed to the landfill. There was no problem emptying the truck and the damage was only $29.50. It was worth anything to get that crap out of my life.

After the dump, I stopped by the bakery to grab the best danishes in the world, but I guess they only bake for the tourists on the weekends because they were just trying to get rid of the day old scones and sliced bread. I went danish-free, but got some cookies to soothe the suffering.

My Dad has a few pallets of flagstone up there and so I loaded one of them into the now empty truck and headed back to the city. I stopped on the way to buy a doorbell for the tenants upstairs and then arrived back in time to catch the 12:30 news.

The afternoon will see me donate blood, and then brave the rushhour traffic to head to my sister's house. I figure that I should make an effort to see her baby since I'm beginning to think that she doesn't think that I like my niece since I rarely see her. It's not my fault that she decided to live in the suburbs. You move to the suburbs, you accept the loneliness.

After dinner and smiling at baby, I'm heading to my Dad's house to deliver his stone. I'll spend the night, catch a ride to Kingston and then take the train home. It's not a very glamourous way to spend a day off, but at least I'm accomplishing a lot.

Parking Malaise

I borrowed my Dad's truck quite some time ago, and it has, for the most part, been parked in the spot behind the house. The parking spot is off the alley that runs between the houses on the east and west sides of my block.

I made a commitment to myself that I would never get another parking ticket for the rest of my life. My last parking ticket was 311 days ago.

I went to the grocery store yesterday and when I returned some idiot had parked in front of their garage and therefore blocked me from being able to get into my spot. Had I not been driving a pick-up I might have been able to squeeze in, but despite my vehicle's ability to drive over the Kia hatchback without my feeling a jostle, I couldn't park in my free spot. I didn't get upset, since there was parking on the street. As long as I moved the car before 2:00am I would be fine. By then the red car, I expected, would be gone. That's the kind of inconvenience that ruins a lot of people's days, but I think is just the way things are and I don't think that getting angry about it is worth the energy.

I got home from work, and had to take care of a plugged toilet, and then I wrote a long overdue DVD review, read for a bit, and went to sleep.

I woke up this morning, went to the bathroom, and wandered down for some cereal. I looked out the back window and noticed that the truck wasn't in its spot.

[insert long string of curse words here]

After getting that out of my system, I resolved not to get upset about getting a $35 ticket, but just to convince myself that it could be a lot worse. I didn't rush outside to move the truck since there was no doubt in my mind that there'd be a yellow piece of rain-soaked paper with a smudged-ink fine on it.

I enjoyed my breakfast and some Skype, and then showered and got dressed. As I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled my socks on, I thought about my plan to never get another parking ticket and realized just how intensely foolish that plan was. How could I conceivably go the next 50 years without a parking ticket? I guess that some people do, but living in the city and being absent-minded is not a good combination. I felt like an idiot for a while and tried, as Brian is always telling me to do, to feel as much shame and self-loathing as possible.

I built up all my courage and headed out to move the truck. It was parked right in front of my house and as I approached it, I expected to see the gleam of yellow like Merseault's sun glinting off the blade.

I was flabbergasted, stunned, and shocked to not see a ticket. How in a city with hundreds of parking ticket patrol cars, could I not have a ticket on my illegally parked overnight windshield? I couldn't believe my luck that I not only saved the $35, but, more importantly, that my ticket-free streak continues.

Tic Tac Tic Tac

I am going to ignore the fact that there have been very few posts, and that there is a documentation gap for the past couple of weeks. I expect also that this has had a negative effect on my readership.

I have mentioned this song before, and it is, without a doubt, one of the strangest (good) I have ever heard.

Boby Lapointe - Ta Katie T'a Quitte

I am finally reasonably organized after my move. It was the worst move of my life because I was so incredibly stupid about it. I was lulled into a false sense of security because, distance-wise, it was such a short move. If I had had to rent a truck, I would have packed everything into boxes and labeled them and stacked them neatly, and placed them in the appropriate rooms. Instead, I filled up recycling boxes with all my crap, hauled them upstairs, realized that I still needed the boxes, found an open space on a bed or on the floor, and dumped. The whole process made a gigantic mess and I've been living in chaotic disarray.

I got out of dodge for the weekend, and, while it was rainy, I had a great weekend away: a trip to the local bakery for danishes and beached all-purpose flour hot dog and hamburger buns, a canoe around (some of) the lake, a little reading, the Saturday Globe and Mail and its fabulous Sudoku, and, despite the clouds, some lounging on the dock.

The strangest thing just happened. After completing the above paragraph, I became very concerned about the location of my phone. I felt my pockets and looked around the room. I wondered if maybe I had left it downstairs and, if so, where. I wondered, briefly, how many calls I might have missed and how great it would be if there was an interesting message waiting for me when, and if, I found it.

Just like that, it started ringing. It was on my bedside table, and as I walked across the room, I remembered that I had spoken to my Dad just before bed. Everything made sense except the fact that the idea of telephone entered my head seconds before the telephone rang.

I'm starting to settle into a more normal routine, and I expect that I will be posting with more regularity.