Happy New Year!

It's 6:16pm I'm having a 50 and getting ready to head to the Legion for New Year's celebrations. It should be a very unique experience. I'm in northern Canada, it's been dark for the last 4 hours and I'm having a steak dinner at the Royal Canadian Legion followed by dancing and ringing in 2007.

The weather was beautiful today and so we walked around town and went to the grocery store. The grocery store was insane and reminded me a lot of a trip to the UK when you realize that everything is insanely expensive and that it's best to just not think about. We bought a ton of food, but decided to walk home. Iqaluit has a lot of hills and before we got too far our arms were sore. We debated taking a cab, but realized that it would be $10 and no exercise. We stopped at the Arctic Ventures and picked up a sled. We (read: I) thought that it would be better to save the ten dollars on a cab when I could spend it on something more tangible. There isn't a lot of opportunity for exercise here. Running is out of the question and I wasn't able to bring my cross-country skis. When you can only go outside for short periods at a time, it's easy to miss out on exercise.

That said, I'm off to the legion and ready to ring in 2007. Enjoy!

Northern Dispatches

I've left the balminess of Toronto and am in Iqaluit, Nunavut.

I spent Christmas at my sister's house which was very nice except for opening presents which drove me absolutely crazy.

On Christmas morning, we started opening presents at 10:00. There were 7 of us including my 16 month-old niece. There were quite a few gifts, but nothing extravagant. My family is very different from my brother-in-law's family when it comes to Christmas traditions.

Santa had filled our stockings and so we began by opening them. Mostly toiletries and chocolates.

A Christmas present should be torn open. I don't like it when people are careful to peel the tape off in order to prevent the paper from peeling, and they unwrap the present in an effort to save the paper. It's hard enough saving the unused tubes of paper for twelve months; I don't understand how people expect to reuse the paper that they've salvaged from gifts. Christmas is incredibly wasteful, and, environmentally, it probably is the right thing to do, but come on.

For each present, paper, bows, and ribbons were saved and piled neatly. Each present came with a store-bought card that was read aloud. Honestly, all those corny cards sound the same: May the light of the season touch your heart and bring you peace for the upcoming year. Blah, bla, blah, blah. The personal notes are much better. Cards would invariably include photos that would also be read and passed around to everyone, and we were all supposed to ooh and aah and bask in the joy of both giving and receiving. Presents were opened and examined closely. Instruction manuals were even partially read aloud. Thank you declarations flowed. Fine. Great, even! This was nice for the first trip around the room, but it continued like this for 4 hours!

My family always opened our presents rather quickly, but never simultaneously. We would wait while other people opened their gifts, but we didn't lounge around and drag the gift exchange on until 2:00 in the afternoon! We would always take our time, but my job was always to make sure that everyone had a present in hand and a present on-deck. When one person was finished opening a gift and we had all seen their face light up, we were on to the next present. The wrapping paper would be torn and the we'd be cookin'.

Eventually, I just gave up trying to speed things along. I was so profoundly bored that I tried to think about how I could feasibly get out of this torture. I could never have imagined opening presents being boring, but this was. Don't get me wrong, I loved all the presents I received and I loved seeing the joy in the faces of those to whom I gave presents, but dragging the opening on and on sucked most of the joy from the experience. It probably didn't help that I made numerous hints about being thirsty that were completely ignored. Apparently, I had to sit for 4 hours reading cards and saving wrapping paper for next year without booze.

Christmas dinner was very nice, and turkey is an amazing food. Butterball pales in comparison to the fresh, unfrozen turkey that I have grown accustomed to throughout the years at my father's house. Certainly the Butterball stuffing is a disgusting sodium concoction that probably, technically, shouldn't be called food. Nevertheless, the meal was fine, and was a nice change from my usual dinners of veggie dogs wrapped in a tortilla, or chocolate chip pancakes.

On Boxing Day my father and I drove to his farm. We didn't arrive until about 5:00 and I immediately started cleaning the garage. My Dad wanted me to move my car into the garage, but it required a lot of cleaning in order to free up adequate space. I found places for and moved all the junk, and discovered that my car's battery was dead. I hooked up the charger and waited. Eventually, I managed to get the car started and my Dad and I managed to squeeze the car into the garage.

My father has a large garage that is able to fit two cars lengthwise. It's a tight fit, but it can be done, and when it comes to storage, it's very convenient. With 10 centimetres between the front of my father's car and the garage wall and 10 centimetres between the rear bumper of my father's car and the front bumper of my car, I closed the garage door. It creaked down slowly as I watched in panic as it approached my back bumper. The door just slipped past my bumper. I let out a breath of relief but quickly gasped as a metal hinge protuberance neared my bumper. It hit the top of my back bumper about half a centimetre in and proceeded to scrape down the outside of the bumper for another 20 centimetres or so. I could hear the plastic being gouged out. With at least 20 centimetres of wasted space that would have made all the difference, I cursed the fact that now I would need to repair my back bumper or live with it being scratched.

I left Ottawa for Iqaluit on the morning of the 27th. There was a visibility warning and there was some concern about whether or not we would be able to land in Iqaluit. If we had been unable to land, we would have continued on to Rankin Inlet where we would have to wait for another flight to reattempt an Iqaluit landing and, if unsuccessful, we would head back to Ottawa. The promise of spending 12 hours travelling only to return to my departure point made me quite anxious. It's not like I had anything better to do, but no one likes wasting a whole day. I had also been looking forward to arriving for such a long time that I would have been devastated if I had to wait another day.

The captain came on the PA system at 12:15 and said that the storm had passed and that we would be landing. It was -30C when we touched down, but the wind made it feel like -56C. My 153 pounds of luggage arrived quickly and in great shape and I was ready to go.

Did you catch that? Yes, 153 pounds of luggage. Groceries are extremely expensive in Iqaluit and because I was allowed to bring two pieces of checked luggage, I figured that I might as well use my full allowance. Just to give you a point of comparison, milk costs $4.00 a litre, toilet paper is $3.00 a roll, and toothpaste is $6.00 a tube. Why would I come with just 20 pounds of clothes?

This morning the sun rose at 9:30. It isn't really that bright outside, but Iqaluit always has some sun unlike places further north. As I write this at 1:20, the sun is setting and it will be pitch black by 2:00.

I am here for three or four weeks (maybe more, maybe less). There isn't a lot to do as we don't have television right now, so there is a good chance that there will be more posts. A belated happy holidays to everyone!

Moore's

I don't have any specific complaint with the men's clothing store Moore's. I've never shopped there nor do I know anyone who has. It could be the best store in the world, but I wouldn't know.

I do however think that it's very funny that they mention in their ads about the quality of their clothes. During the opening of Hockey Night in Canada's Coach's Corner when it mentions that it is brought to us by Moore's, you will see a Moore's label being sewn onto the inside of a jacket. If you look carefully, the stitching slides off of the bottom of the label and half of the bottom of the label is unstitched.

It reminds me of the line from The Simpson's episode where Mr. Burns makes a movie for the film festival: "We did 20 takes, and that was the best one."

RIP: Car Loan

This arrived in the mail today and I'm very happy about it:

It Continues.

I'm home, but I failed. I survived, but I wasn't able to find everything I need.

It took a little while to make it to the Eaton Centre, but I immediately hit the Bay. I asked my Dad what he wanted for Christmas, and like always he said, "Nothing." I eventually found out that he needed socks and underwear, which is another typical father thing to say. Nevertheless, I did purchase 6 pairs of underwear for him. It's a crappy gift, but what else do you buy for your father? Probably not underwear, but that's what I got him.

I was off to a good start and I had a $10 gift certificate from Sears so I headed down to the children's department there to get some clothes for my niece. I decided against toys since she's only 16 months old and won't really appreciate them. I opted for clothes to help out her Mom and Dad. With my gift certificate, the shirt and pants were only $2.41 so I decided to go back to the mall and get her something else. I picked up two more shirts.

I wandered around trying to think about what to buy for my sister and brother-in-law. I was going to get them a couple of seasons of Six Feet Under, but decided that, though I would really like that gift, it probably wasn't the most appropriate gift in this our first Christmas without my Mom. Also, I think that getting a DVD isn't such a great gift at Christmas-- this coming from someone who is giving underwear to his father.

I left the mall with the intention of going to Future Shop, but I stopped at HMV. I wandered around and looked at all the piles of DVDs that, no doubt, will all be sold in the next two weeks. What a racket! Anyway, before long I just grew bored, and left. When I got outside, I just started walking home. I didn't want to shop anymore so I followed my feet and wandered back to Queen street. I went into a few junk shops to see if anything struck me as being to my sister's taste, but I couldn't find anything that I could see her enjoying. There was a ton of great stuff that I would love, but nothing good for her.

I walked up Bathurst and stopped for some Vietnamese food. It was 4:00 and I was hungry so I decided to treat myself. I was back home by 5:00.

Tomorrow will have to see the end of this nightmare. I'm hoping to have a vision tonight of what to get for them, but this might very easily become a Christmas Eve pressure of a deadline situation.

It Begins!

I am doing it. I am making a big move today and it's one that I may or may not recover from. I am going to start and complete my Christmas shopping.

I'm going to try to avoid the malls because they are depressing and horrible places. I hope to do all my shopping at privately owned shops, but for someone like me who dislikes shopping, the mall is a necessary evil. Go in, get everything you need in one place, and leave. It's almost worth the feeling of filth and guilt just to be back home as quickly as possible.

I'm going to walk downtown and window shop along the way. If anything strikes me, I will stop and make a quick purchase. With luck, I will be finished within the first two blocks. Pipes dreams!

Check in a little later for an update and to see if I've made it home in one piece.

CSI: Bored Wednesday

It's another Wednesday night and it's time for CSI: New York and their fabulous musical interludes. To qualify as a musical interlude must last at least 30 seconds and not have any other dialogue. It should be noted that most dramas have music of some description during the entire program. When a show is really bad, it has to tell you how to feel through music.

1) 10:00. During the opening segment when a mother discovers he murdered daughter.
2) 10:07. Some people playing broomball discover a body. There is about 45 seconds of the game that adds nothing to the story.
3) 10:14. Establishing shot of a New York City building cuts to forensic unit personel investigating the scene.
4) 10:22. Backstory into a romance between Mac and a forensic scientist.
5) 1034. Reconstruction of the crime in the field.
6) 10:53. Figure skater skating.

All in all, not that bad as far as lengthy musical time-killing goes. Still, very weak television.

Reindeer Flip Flopping

It's never made sense to me that Rudolph (the biggest the castout in Christmas history), when given special treatment by Santa, was embraced and adored by the other reindeer. If I know reindeer bullies, and I think that I do, they are more likely to further ostracize him.

I turned on the television last night to an evening of Christmas shows for kids. Dr. Seuss's The Grinch Who Stole Christmas was on. I doubt that there are many of my generation who don't love watching it.

Following the Grinch was Frosty. I wasn't interested so I went downstairs to make dinner. When I returned to my tv, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was on.

As a kid, I only got excited about two Christmas specials: The Grinch, and A Charlie Brown Christmas. I thought that I might have unfairly judged Rudolph, so I decided to watch it. I had thought that it was just sad reindeer has the last laugh.

I discovered a few things here:

Robert May created Rudolph in 1939 as a promotion for the Montgomery Ward chain of department stores. He created a poem (in rhyming couplets) and the store chain distributed a colouring book of the story as a Christmas promotion. By 1946, 6 million books had been distributed.

There was a huge demand for licensing, and since May was an employee of Ward's he received no royalties. His wife had had been ill and May was in debt as a result, and managed to convince Montgomery Ward president, Sewell Avery, to give him the rights to Rudolph.

May cashed in on Rudolph. He had his brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, write a Rudolph song which was sung by Gene Autry in 1949 and became a hit second only to "White Chirstmas" as top seller all-time.

I really wasn't that impressed with the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Christmas Special last night. I didn't like it as a kid and I couldn't believe that they had turned a five-stanza song into an hour-long special. I'd never heard of Sam The Snowman, Hermey the Misfit Elf, Yukon Cornelius, and The Abominable Snow Monster of the North, and was very skeptical of the show. It wasn't until I did a little research that I discovered that there was a story before the song, and that the characters in the special are actually based on original characters.

The best part of the show, by far, is during the credits. Santa's elves join him on the sleigh and give toys umbrellas and then throw them over the side. One elf decides not to give a little bird an umbrella and throws it off the edge without one. The funny thing is that earlier in the show, they made a big deal about this bird being a misfit toy and was unable to fly, but only was able to swim. I take it that misfit toy bird didn't find a child to love him!

Beta to the Max

I foolishly upgraded to the new version of Internet Explorer. I use Firefox 98% of the time, but have Explorer jsut in case. In one of the frequent Windows updates, it automatically changed to the new version. I had to deinstall that update because it was garbage, and because the page that I needed to view wouldn't recognize it.

I switched to the new beta version of hotmail. I used it for a couple of weeks before I reverted back to the older version. The beta version is a mess and so much bother. I couldn't stand having to relogin 20 times a day, often in the middle of using it. They have a lot of kinks to work out there.

I switched my blog to the new beta version of blogger, and haven't had a chance to properly investigate it, but thought that I would make a start by posting this one. I've noticed that the dashboard is very different and I can now more closely moderate comments. There is a label feature, and apart from some font and graphics changes, I haven't noticed anything else. I guess that that'll be a discovery in progress.

The Office

As most of you know I am a big fan of the Ricky Gervais podcasts, and for a while all my days were spent listening to all the Karl Pilkington drivel that was possible. Despite all this, I had never watched The Office.

I watched Extras and really enjoyed it, but I put off watching The Office. I couldn't bring myself to do it, because I feared that the cringe-factor would just be too much for me to enjoy, and might tarnish my opinion of the other work.

I decided to take the plunge. Yes, at times the show is incredibly difficult to watch but I did thoroughly enjoy it. I laughed and laughed, but, I must admit, there were many moments where I actually covered my eyes and looked away because it was just too much. Funny, but too much.

This past weekend, I started watching the US version of The Office. I had heard that it was really good, but I was skeptical. I feared that it would be a watered down version of the orginal. I immediately enjoyed the show. The pilot was more a "best-of" of the original, and I was curious to see where they would go once the US writers took over.

I have watched 37 episodes, and am a big fan. While still difficult to watch, I love the supporting characters and the sharp writing. Kevin and Stanley are amazing. There are two moments that spring to mind that I had to pause so that I could properly laugh.

1) Clip 1.

2)

Though YouTube is full of clips, I recommend watching the show from the beginning. I would not recommend the marathon kind of watching schedule that I did simply because when you have reached the end, you will feel dejected and heartbroken that now you have to wait for the television schedule for your next fix.

Drastic Customer Service Action

I loathe automated telephone systems for a number of reasons but my experience with my home security system company was one of the worst.

I called them last week and was on the phone for 40 minutes trying to get someone to come to my house to make some modifications to the system. I was transferred all across North America. It's easy to tell when you are transferred out of the country because a postal code suddenly becomes a zip code.

Every time I was transferred, I had to reidentify myself, which was no easy task since the information is not in my name. It's actually in my sister and brother-in-law's name which makes my call very suspicious. When they ask me my sister's name, I actually got it wrong because we call her by her middle name whereas she goes by her first name in more formal situations (I suspect that the only reason she does this is because her name is a little unusual and can't stand having to explain and spell it all the time).

After being transferred and waiting in "priority sequence" only to have to be retransferred was incredibly frustrating. I was stuck on hold for ages and had to listen to that horrible elevator music and the occasional, "You're call is important to us."

Eventually, I gave up, and decided to send them an email. I have yet to hear a response.

I was walking down my street on Saturday evening and noticed an ***** truck parked in the street. I thought, "That's odd. I just spent ages on the phone with them and there's one of their trucks." It's funny how you notice things like that all at once.

Despite my problems with the phone system and my frustration with it, I stil needed to get in touch with the secuirty system company. I decided to draft this letter:

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is ***** and I live on ***** Street. I am a ***** customer and need to have some work done on my security system. After trying to call your company and being placed on hold and transferred all across North America for more than 40 minutes, I no longer could deal with the automated telephone system. I sent an email but I have not received a response.

I need to have two motion sensors disabled or need to purchase 4 remote control pads. I would like to get a quote on how much this will cost.

I am sorry to have to communicate with you this way, but after my thoroughly unpleasant experience trying to telephone, I figured, "What the hell? I'll do this the old-fashioned way."

I can be reached at: *****.

Thanks!

I went out last night to meet a friend for drinks, but before I did, I placed the letter under the windshield wiper of the security system company's truck that was parked on my street.

I received a phone call this morning at 9:17 from the security company, and we arranged to have them come to my house to do the necessary work on Friday afternoon.

I use technology as much as the next guy. I prefer to scan documents and send them as a jpeg through email than using a fax or sending a photocopy in the mail. I question though the idea that new technology is always beneficial.

I am not the only person who hates automated phone systems, and I dare you to try to call a phone company or television provider and get off the phone in less than 30 minutes. I would wager that you would spend 80% of your time on hold, and would hear more words of advertising than you would hear from a human customer service representative. It would be very interesting to learn how much business has been lost because of automated telephone systems. To be fair, they probably have made money simply because people didn't want to deal with the phone system and accepted the billing error.

Fortunately, I was able to take matters into my own hands in this case and will get the service that I needed. I will never understand the why companies need to make it so complicated for customers to their spend money.

Inactivity Knows No Bounds

I spent most of the last couple of weeks at my desk. When I haven't been sitting here, I have:

-Been running. I am back in the swing of things with the running again. My gluteus medius feels fine, and I've managed to squeeze in 36 kilometres this week. It was absolutely beautiful out in the middle of the week and I was able to haul my shorts out of the drawer again. The temperature has dropped now, and I'm going to have to suffer.

-Been to a concert. It was Sloan concert somewhere in the teens for me. I get the feeling that the band's heart just isn't in it anymore. They are clearly satisfied with their lot in life and are quite content to put up with the Slo-oane chants and having to play at the wretched Kool Haus if it means that they get a fat paycheck. I thought at one point about shouting, "Play the Future Shop song!!" All joking aside, I am a Sloan fan and have been for more than 10 years. They will always be a great band for me and a band that I listen to and think about my lost youth. I will never in my life recount visiting the Kool Haus, however. In that cavern, it was more like an outdoor concert than a club show. I will never forgive exclusivity deals either. If I want to drink a beer at a show, I want to be able to drink something other than Canadian in a can or a Cool Shot. Great album here. Check out two amazing covers here and here.

-Raked leaves. Yesterday was a thoroughly disgusting day. It poured rain for most of the day, but by mid-afternoon there was a break and I headed outisde to clean up the yard before the snow. I worked for a few minutes before it started raining, but toughed it out and finished the job. I was soaked to the skin by the end. After all that, there was no freezing rain, and now snow. Instead there was a lot of wind and I need to rake again because the neighbours are lazy.

-Purchased some of the Permanent stamps. The concept is a little odd but I suppose that they wouldn't do it if it didn't makes financial sense. The stamps are 51 cents and can be used even if the postage rate increases. I bought 50 stamps so when the price goes up to 52 cents, I'm going to have a couple of cool quarters in my pocket. I suppose that it costs more than one penny to make a one cent stamp and I expect that the next big move by Canada Post will be to discontinue a few small value stamps. Maybe with all these savings they can hire a letter carrier that delivers to my street even when it rains.

-Taken a cab. I walked to the Dufferin Mall for groceries and took a cab home. I've decided that I don't mind spending money on a cab with my groceries since I no longer have to pay for my car. Two ten-dollar trips are better than the hundreds of dollars to maintain a car each month. Thankfully, I only have two more payments until it's completely paid for. I need to think about what I'm going to do without that monthly expense. The reason I mention the cab ride is because the driver was listening to a gospel station. During the trip I listened to a minister praying. It sounded as though he didn't know what he was talking about and his politics and biases really came out during the prayer. It was a peaceful ride, but a little uncomfortable.

-Played video baseball. My roommate bought MLB 2K6 and I started a season. I drafted a team and proceeded to get beaten up by the computer in my first four games (78-7). I lost the fifth game 4-3, so I thought that I was on the comeback. Thankfully, I discovered later that my season was deleted. One hundred and sixty-two games is a long season, and I'm relieved that I don't have to continue getting killed.