Rotting Brains

I think that my favourite moments when I watch television is when you can actually witness the exact moment when an actor reaches out and depresses the handle on the toilet of their career.

Jon Lovitz's new ad campaign for Subway Restaurants is one of those moments. It is particularly interesting too that Subway also seems to have decided to throw out their "healthy" mandate. The latest menu offerings are the Chicken Parmesan (510 Calories, 18 grams of fat), the Meatball Marinara (560 Calories, 24 grams of fat), and the Chicken and Bacon Ranch (530 Calories, 25 grams of fat). A McChicken sandwich from McDonalds is 360 calories and 16 grams of fat.

Anyway, those ads are ridiculous. It's pretty clear that Jon Lovitz's was sitting at home beside the telephone suspecting that it was broken and occasionally picking it up to make sure that there was still a dial tone. When it did ring, he greeted his agent with "I'lltakeit" instead of "Hello".

I've always wondered why it is that you would cast an actor who doesn't fit the role. I don't need to hear a feigned accent (Nicole Kidman, I'm looking in your direction) or see a fat suit (all manner of dumb holiday movies). Jon Lovitz faking an English accent is not only annoying, but an insult to the viewer's intelligence. It's so far from comedy that it has come back to funny, gone up to the TV thrown it onto the floor and fled screaming out of the building.

I'm not sure what to make of the latest Robin Williams offering, but if the trailer is any indication, his career is etherized on the lumpy couch of an R.V. teetering atop a mountain. Come on.

So that's my rant of the week about how sad modern pop culture is. I could probably have gone on a bit more, but I will leave it at that. I'll try not to make a habit of this, but I couldn't let these two monstrosities go unnoticed. Jon Lovitz and Robin Williams, you have been warned. You both need to make some pretty serious moves to deshitlistify yourselves.