Post-Interview Blues

My interview is over and on the way home I had the usual internal conflicts. I think that it went well, but I can rationalize anything. I could see them giving me the job and I could justify it with sound arguments. I could also justify with equally sound arguments why they would not give it to me. That's the rub, and the self-inflicted psychological torture.

It was one of those getting-to-know-you interviews. The ones where they are already convinced that you are capable, but want to find out if you're going to be a productive part of the team. There was chit-chat, anecdotes, and a few laughs. It really felt like a first or second date. I was a little nervous, and had to walk the fine line of being confident, but not being arrogant. I digress, but I've never understood exactly what confident means in the phrase: "I like a man who's confident." To me confidence is pomposity and who wants that?

So they said that they would let me know sometime next week. I had hoped that they would be able to give me the word today, but it doesn't sound like that will happen. I have learned that the longer the wait the greater the chance that the job went to someone else. For now, I will run things over in my head and think about what I might have done better. I'll also be hoping against hope that the news is good.

I guess that the tell-tale sign that the job is mine wasn't there. There were, however, a couple of "if you are the successful candidate" slip-ups, so that could be interpreted as a good thing. I can, and will, torment myself about it all. At this point, though, there isn't much that can be done. It's so hard to want something that is so close and have no control when it comes to actually getting it.