Members Only

So I became a card carrying member of the Ontario College of Teachers this afternoon. My letter arrived today.

I can't help but think of scenes of happy children spinning around on a merry-go-round and hanging from monkey bars, quiet boys and girls sitting in desks, a teacher using a pointer on a roll down map and writing vocabulary words on the blackboard. All would be overdubbed with a deep chocolatey smooth voice:

Registration fee: $375
Criminal Records Check: $28.95
Parking Fees While Getting Criminal Records Check: $2.00
Parking Ticket While Queuing and Waiting for Criminal Records Check: $30
Photocopying of Documents: $2.74
Parking Fees While Photocopying Documents: $1.50
Certificate of Good Standing for the Province of Saskatchewan: $50
Long Distance Telephone Calls to Arrange the Certificate of Good Standing for the Province of Saskatchewan: $1.53
Certificate of Good Standing for the Province of Quebec: $0.54
Long Distance Telephone Calls to Arrange the Certificate of Good Standing for the Province of Quebec: $0.62
Annual Membership to December 2005: $104

Membership in the Ontario College of Teachers: Priceless or Worthless?

I suppose the value of this piece of paper will remain to be seen.