Bollocks!

What a load of rubbish that last entry was. Sorry about that drivel. Now for something really great!

I went to work, and had to stay late. I was by myself and Fridays are always busy, because people drop off tapes before the weekend. This week was extra busy because of the long weekend. When I arrived, I discovered that I had an episode of a 30 minute show to finish. I worked like a maniac and left at 12:15am.

I'm still making my way through the Ricky Gervais shows from XFM. Right now I'm listening to the first Monkey News. The classic line that just about fell down in the street when I heard Karl's story:

Karl: Old woman about 70 year old, she's normally fit and healthy and stuff. Nothing wrong with her, she's having a good life. One day she goes for a check to the doctors just to check herself out, 'cause she's getting on a bit. He says take your clothes off and that. So she does. Checks her out and he says, "You're looking good, looking good. Turn 'round." He said, "Oh god! You got a tumour on your buttock." Right? So she goes, "Can you do anything to sort it out?" So they go, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can book you in for an operation. It's best if we remove this." Books her in for an operation. Operation day comes. Strip her down, and that. They're all stood 'round the doctors. Start to operate. Only turns out it's a pork chop that's she's sat on five years earlier and it had stuck to her buttock.

Ricky: Right, Karl, I'll tell you now. I'm leaving! I'm never doing this show again.

Karl: No i'm serious, honestly.

Ricky: I, I, I've never heard anything... such bollo... you are... play a record, play a record.

Song begins.

Karl: I couldn't believe it.

Ricky What do you mean you couldn't believe it? Stop the record! Stop the record!

Song stops.

Ricky: right, what do you mean you couldn't believe it?

Karl: No, when I read it, I said, "I have to tell Ricky about..."

Ricky: This woman had a pork chop stuck to her ass for five years, you mental case?! Course she didn't!

I also found this moderately decent Johnny Vegas clip.


I'm off to a wedding tomorrow and then back to work on Sunday until Friday. Happy Canada Day. Little sneak preview... the Governor General's and the Prime Ministers Canada Day speeches are terrible. Don't watch them.