Too Busy Writing Your Tragedy

What a beautiful day today. This is the kind of day that we've been waiting for. It's sunny and hot outside. Barbeques will be blazing, and patios will be packed long into the night. It isn't sickeningly humid yet and the bugs haven't set in.

Today is the four month anniversary of my Mom's death. I had a weird moment this morning. I missed her a lot. It just suddenly hit me and then left. I had a pang of understanding that she is gone and isn't coming back. I knew that, sure, but when I realized that I couldn't call her up on the phone and chat, I didn't feel sad exactly, but just a little let down. Like when you've been looking forward to something for a long time, and then it arrives and passes and then the next day you don't have anything else to look forward to. There's a strange loneliness that happens until you make something else to get excited about.

I slept in very late today and then played poker for much of the afternoon. I watched Garden State which I suppose was an appropriate movie for the circumstances. Does anyone else find it weird that after before Largeman and Sam sleep together, they spend time talking in the bathtub in which his mother drowned? Now there is a lot of things that are a little unbelievable in that movie, but this is the one part that I can't believe. I'd still like to hope that I will meet someone someday that can rival the conversation that they had in the waiting room of the neurologists office. That happens in real life doesn't it?

After spending 2.5 hours winning $4.50 in a freeroll tournament, I decided to go out for a run. It was beautiful and I needed to get a nice exercise high. That's really the only reason I do it. The high lasts for hours and I really needed to get outside. I did a hard run to Rogers Road and Dufferin. That Dufferin hill is a killer, but I made it.

So I'm going to spend the evening outside enjoying the weather and chilling. I have a weekend in the city without work, and am going to enjoy it!