Recovery Weekend and First Dates (Vol. 1)

Well things are not too exciting this weekend. I am in the middle of an 11-day stint of work so today was hump day. Actually, it hasn't been half bad. I just work work work and then I leave. It's nice. I suppose that I shouldn't look forward to dinner but I do. Going to the food court and choosing a meal is not only fun, but like a real-life satsifaction jigsaw puzzle: fit the best food into the empty space in the stomach and create pleasure in brain.

I went out for a fantastic run last night (probably my best) . I was feeling so good that the exercise just made me feel invigorated. I was all set to catch up on all my writing and to be really productive, but I watched Six Degrees of Separation on CBC instead. I did two Sudokus, and am finding even the hard ones to be fairly straightforwad. I guess that means I'm smart.

So yesterday morning, my Dad called me. We chatted for a while, until:

Dad: Are you seeing anyone these days?
Me: No, why? Do you want to set me up?
Dad: Actually...

So my Dad wants to set me up with the daughter of some of his friends. He described her as a runner, blond, and okay-looking. I am not even going to begin to wonder why he wants to set me up or why he thinks that he needs to. I am frightened to think about why he would want to set me up with someone who he only thought was "okay looking." I'm his son for God's sake wouldn't he want to set me up with a "total hotty"? The whole thing has totally creeped me out.

Instead, I went out on a date of my own. I've always thought that I make a pretty good date. I know how to ask questions, and I know how to sit back and let people talk. I can interject appropriately without coming off as a jerk. It's a fine line between having an opinion and being an asshole, and I think that I fall on the right side of the line.

Things went well last night, I think. Despite all my failures and poorly developed skills, I do think that I read people quite well. If I trust my gut and am actually not afraid to listen to what I think, then I can usually tell if something went well or if it didn't. I think that this went well.

Dating is one of those things that is completely base and acceptably superficial. There aren't very many circumstances in the world when you're allowed to simply form an opinion of someone soley on the pull of your loins. People mask it by calling it "chemistry" but that's just a fancy word for whether or not you feel that burn between the thighs.

After that initial yes/no (and we all do it), you go on to actually talking to them and trying to get to know them. The options are:

1) Initial repulsion leads to converstation that is not only interesting, but empassioned. This person is cool and fun, and intelligent enough to not only get my jokes, but also to dish a few of them out herself. The result depends upon which part of the body is doing the thinking.

2) Initial attraction leads to conversation in which you discover that the person has absolutely nothing interesting to say, and is too afraid to say it. This is a big turn off. Quirkiness is cool and if you haven't embraced your inner geek then you can embrace someone else. Again the result depends upon which part of the body is thinking.

3) Initial repulsion leads to the sad discovery that this person is single for a reason. They are scary-weird and wouldn't be caught dead listening to anything that hasn't sold 500,000 copies or watching anything with subtitles. These are the dates commonly depicted on bad sitcoms and are probably the result of parents trying to set-up their children.

4) Initial attraction leads to a simple smooth conversation where you aren't afraid to say what you actually think and not afraid to actually be yourself. This usually doesn't happen right away, but with each topic you begin to realize more and more that you are actually comfortable. What has started out as a date doesn't seem to be one, since it doesn't really seem like work any more. There's a flirtation here and there, and the occasional accidental foot touching under the table. Can't forget the hair touch. Gotta love the hair touch, or better still the forearm touch.

Who the hell really knows though, right? The first date is one of those things that means nothing. There isn't much that can salvage a 1 or a 3, but I think that we are all sadly aware at how quickly a 4 can become a 2 by date two or three.

Very simply I think that it boils down to whether or not she said or did anything that annoyed me. If she didn't she gets a second date to pass the next series of annoyance barriers. At the same time, she has to decide whether or not she finds my annoyances aggravating or endearing.

The big question now is when next contact happens. I have always been a big believer in the next day philosophy. It says very clearly, "I'm interested enough and respect you enough to not fuck around and treat you like a piece of shit." Many people interpret it as "clingy" or "desperate" however. The Swingers-type six days is, in my opinion, totally bogus, but might work (I've never tried it). It signals aloofness and disinterest, which some people seem to like, but I think is a pretty pathetic quality to find appealing. I don't want aloof. I want someone who says and does what they think is right.

I don't hate the player, I hate the game. Nobody's told me what to do, so I'm going to make the rules up as I go along. Worst case scenario, I screw things up and I've still got my Dad setting me up.