It's as if a horrible joke is being played on me. I'm not sure who would do such a thing to me, or if I am really awake or asleep right now. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to feel since I have never had to deal with anything like this before.

My mother died last night in a car accident.

She had come to Toronto to return my car, and to take the leaky one back. She also needed to buy a dress for her trip to South America.

I missed seeing her as I was not at home, but I called her at 10:30 to try to convince her to stay overnight and not to drive home. I know that it isn't my fault but I'm just runnning through everything in my head.

She was killed instantly. My Dad said that she must have fallen asleep at the wheel and lost control of the car and she hit a transport truck.

Dad called me this morning at 6:28. He didn't sound good, but when he said, "she isn't with us anymore" I flopped around in bed in what can only be described as an uncontrolled fit.

I'm on my way home now to be with my Dad and sister. It's going to be a tough time, but I know that we'll get through. I'm headed to Union station to catch a GO Train to Ajax, and then my brother in law and my sister and I are going to Perth to be with my Dad.