Departmental

I had a nice lunch with a friend today who gave me free concert tickets. The conversation was nice, too.

After my lunch, I walked over to The Bay. I accidentally paid my bill twice last month and had an $80 credit. I needed to get Christmas and long overdue thank you cards and figured, "Hey, free 80 bucks!"

I've decided that one of the things that frustrates me most about shopping is never knowing where anything is. I must have looked at the in-store maps about a dozen times. I pride myself on being able to read maps, but there is something fundamentally confusing about navigating a department store.

At the root of the problem is that there was not a single instance in which I approached the escalator correctly. It I wanted to go up, I first arrived at the down escalators and had to wind my way around merchandise in order to find the way up. At one point the escalator jumped over to another section and instead of turning the right way, I turned the wrong way and wandered around trying to find the right way. The whole time looking at the map, and feeling like a moron for clearly appearing like I didn't belong there.

Just a point of digression... the escalator is not a ride. You are still supposed to walk up it, or, at the very least, move to one side or the other. If you are shopping with a friend, do not stand side-by-side stand in single file so I can get the hell out of there faster.

I did manage to find what I wanted, but it took a real toll on my feet. Something about the floors of department stores make my body tired and sore seconds after treading upon them. I am also sure that the temperature in there was 5 degrees higher than everywhere else. My head gets cloudy in that heat, and the feeling of utter loss of direction, and the confusion of not knowing which way is north sends me into a panic of, "What if I never get out of here? How much longer will I have to keep walking before I find the stationary department? Where is the mall entrance? What if I get too tired to go home and have to stay here?"

There are 26 days until Christmas and I dread having to return to any store. More and more I'm thinking that this'll be a strictly online gift holiday.

Lesson Learned: Folding Pocket Aces

I had a terrible night's sleep last night. I tossed and turned and couldn't get this blog post out of my head. During those three hours of restlessness and stress dreams, I should have gotten out of bed and written it. Instead, I suffered.

I was playing a freeroll tournament yesterday and did something that I've never done before, and never thought that I would/could do. It was a qualifier and the top 30 players in this event qualify for a $1000 freeroll that happens on Saturday.

I was cleaning the house and missed the first hour or so of the tournament. By the time I returned, the blinds had eaten my 1500 in chips down to 220. I doubled up quickly, and doubled up again, and then tripled up. My chips were about average at roughly 3500. I waited and played smart and built my stack up to 15000.

I sat on my stack for a while and watched people get eliminated, bringing me closer and closer to the top 30. The prize is exactly the same whether you finish in 1st or in 30th, but anything other than top 30 earns you nothing.

With about 60 players remaining, I decided that one more win would mean that I could sit out for the rest of the game and still qualify so I played pocket queens against a smaller stack. He pushed all-in preflop and I called his 8,000 or so. He turned over QJ spades. I was dominating, and looking really good. Flop was nothing but one spade hit. Of course the turn and river were spades, and I lost.

I was still in the tournament, but only had about 7500 in chips. With so many players remaining, I was in trouble. I had to really struggle to hang on and finish in the top 30. I won some small pots, but nothing important and my chips hovered around 8500.

With 31 players remaining, I was in 33rd place. The player in 31st was "away" and was folding every hand. The blinds and antes were slowly eating away all his chips. After posting the small blind he had 186 chips left. I knew that the 300 ante would put him all-in next hand and, with luck, someone at his table would knock him out. I had been widdled away to 3100 in chips and could last much longer. At exactly this point, I was dealt AA.

This is the strongest starting hand in poker and one that normally would make me jump for joy. Though very tempted, I noticed that the small and the big blind had 44000 and 36000 in chips. With only one more player to eliminate, they would likely both call no matter what cards they held. I would be risking every chip and would be jeopardizing a qualifying top 30 finish. I knew being eliminated now would mean winning absolutely nothing.

I folded my pocket aces.

I couldn't believe that I had done it. In the next hand at the other table, the player with 186 chips was forced all-in by the ante and his 93 was easily beaten and he was eliminated in 31st position. I was in the money and no matter how I finished I would qualify for Saturday's tournament.

With that player out and my win secured, I went all in with nothing and won. The next hand I was, shockingly, dealt pocket aces and went all-in. The big chip leader called me with 53 unsuited. Flop was KQ5, turn was a 6, and the river was a 3. I was eliminated in 27th place (a few had gone out the hand before). It was a perfect end to the experience since it shows just how vulnerable pocket aces are. It was absolutely the right move to move all-in at this point, but absolutely wrong to move all-in earlier no matter how strong my cards were.

I will never know if my earlier aces would have held up, but it doesn't matter. It would have been stupid to risk everything and possibly finish in 31st position. If I had, I would have walked away with nothing. Folding the strongest staring hand in poker meant that I am now playing for some real money this Saturday.

PART NEReD

I have received three admonishments for the line in my last post, "My partner works there and is working over Christmas, so I decided to visit her."

The Canadian Oxford dictionary defines "partner" as... don't you remember starting essays and reports like that in elementary school? Awesome! Actually, Wikipedia has a good entry for girlfriend and it points out, "At times, since "girlfriend" and "partner" mean different things to different people, the distinctions between the terms are subjective, and which term is used in a relationship will ultimately be determined by personal preference."

I prefer to use the term "partner" instead of "girlfriend" because as a student I always heard people talk about their girlfriends. "My girlfriend's parents were out of town this weekend," or, "You'd better not think about looking at my girlfriend you goggle-eyed nerd!" These girls never had names and, to me, "girlfriend" always made them sound like property. "My Vette was tearing around town all weekend," or, "You'd better not think about looking at my Vette you goggle-eyed nerd!"

Every sensitivity training course in the country will teach you that when you are speaking to someone and they mention their sexual partner, you cannot, or should not, assume the partner is of the opposite sex (nor of the same sex). If you use of the word partner instead of girlfriend, people jump to a conclusion about your orientation.

I use the word partner instead of girlfriend for a few reasons.

1) It has a level of sharedness. We are not chattel to each other. We make decisions for ourselves, and we make decisions together. Responsibilities are shared. Both people are equal in the relationship.

2) It does not make a statement about my sexual orientation. I do not need to brag. I don't need to declare to the world that I am a heterosexual. I don't walk into someone's house and say, "Should I take off my purchased-in-Baltimore-shoes?," or introduce myself to a coworker, "Hello, I'm coming to terms with the unexpected and horrific death of my mother." There are some things that people don't need to know. Until they meet her and get to know her, people need only know that there is someone special in my life.

3) Using the word partner exposes prejudice. Invariably, the listener will hear "partner" and come to a decision about gender. Why have they assumed that the partner is female or male? This says a lot about them. Hopefully it will allow them to reflect on the reasons why they interpret the world the way that they do. Assumptions can reveal prejudice and bigotry that should be countered.

I will continue to use the word "partner" for these reasons. I will also use the term girlfriend, and will relish being called boyfriend. It's rather frightening to me to think that so much hassle can be caused by mere semantics. Shouldn't linguists (I'll pass on the obvious joke) have worked this out by now?

Application Blues

I'm growing tired of my blog to tell you the honest truth. That's one reason why I haven't been posting very much.

It isn't as though things haven't been interesting and there has been plenty going on, but I just haven't felt as compelled to tell the world about everything.

I also have found it difficult to justify spending time working on my blog since I have been working on other things. I'm in the process of applying to grad school and between all the letters to references, statements of intent, teaching assistantship applications, and rushing around chasing documents, I haven't felt like I could realy spare an hour of writing time. When I spend the entire day writing, I don't really feel like sitting at my computer and writing more. Statements of intent are some of the most difficult writing I've ever had to do and after a couple of hours, I don't want to be anywhere near word processing software.

I got an early Christmas present yesterday. I'm going to Iqaluit over the Christmas break. My partner works there and is working over Christmas, so I decided to visit her. It will be a very interesting place to spend New Year's. I'm hoping to do some supply teaching up there if I stay into January.

Other than that, things progress as usual. I do have about three half finished posts that may appear but until these applications are finished, I doubt that I will have the fortitude get to them.

Back to the Normal Drivel

By overwhelming public demand, I have returned to post, and, with luck, will do so more frequently.

Despite this, I don't have a lot to say. Here's a brief update:

- I went to the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair on Friday and it was great fun. I had a bison burger and am convinced that a restaurant chain that only sells buffalo would be a huge success. I wish that I knew where to buy bison in this city. I'm sure that there are places, but

- I've watched the first 10 minutes of CSI: New York and there have already been three musical interludes. Will keep you posted.

- I'm up to $40 in my free money account, and $46 in my real money account.

- I went to a housewarming party on Saturday.

- I took the subway and the "Airport Rocket" to the airport without incident, but on the return trip five days later, I took a different bus that went along Dixon road all the way to Lawrence West subway. It was 25 minutes slower than the first one.

- There have been two more musical interludes by the 34-minute mark.

- Everyone who says, "I don't know what you're talking about," is guilty.

- In celebration of one month without biting my fingernails, and also one month without clipping or filing those nails, I was treated to a manicure. I don't have a problem with that, and don't mind telling the world that, "Yes, I have had a manicure." It was all right, but not something that I need to have on a regular basis.

- 49 minutes in and we have another musical interlude.

- Too soon, another musical interlude. It sounded like Ben Harper, but might, of course, been Jack Johnson. That makes 7 in a 44-minute show not to mention the fact that the music

- Why is Jamie Lee Curtis hocking board games? Board games need a celebrity salesperson?

- Lloyd Robertson looks like a corpse.

Risk-Free Rounding: Part Deuce

Another poker post. If you're not interested, check this out.


The real way to make money on online poker sites is to enter freerolls. Here I was worried about losing my bankroll, and all the while the sites are handing out money for doing next to nothing.

Freerolls on big sites are a waste of time. All the ones that are highly advertised are useless. For example, a freeroll at ***.com has 10,000 entrants. You must finish in the top 27 to win. The problem though is that if you do manage to finish in the top .27%, you don't win money, but qualify to enter the weekly freeroll. You then must wade through hundreds and hundreds more players in order to grind your way up into the money. The payoffs may be decent, but the chances of surviving are slim. Bad cards come frequently and the best hand doesn't always end up winning.

Now I shouldn't complain about getting something for nothing, but there are better ways to earn a quick buck in the freeroll game.

There are a ton, of smaller online sites that are ripe for the picking. They offer freerolls in an effort to have people try their site. This is fine marketing, and I understand it, but from a player's perspective it's pure gold. I typically play at a site that offers a half dozen or so freerolls a day each with around 800 players. There is no qualifying for an additional tournament; if you finish in the top 10 you win cash. Roughly that means that the top 1.25% get paid.

You laugh and say, "Those are still ridiculous odds," and I would agree, but I've already increased the chance of success. Lets say in tournament one at one of the big sites, you finish in the top .5%. That's a great result, you've outlasted 9,500 players. Amazing finish, but you win nothing. Let's say that you win that qualifier and beat all 9,999 other players. That's an incredible result, but you get beaten early in the real thing later on in the week and, monetarily (and I recognize that knowledge is worth far more than money, blah, blah ,blah) you've earned nothing. If you finish in the top .5% of the field at one of the lesser known sites you've still had a great game, but you also get to add some some cash to your bankroll and gain that valuable knowledge. I'll take this one step further.

Many of the smaller sites sponsor poker forums as part of their marketing campaigns. The forum managers make money based on the number of referrals that they get, and they sponsor members-only freerolls. I have joined a few of these forums and played their freerolls. Yesterday, I played one that paid the top 10 players, and the event had 41 entrants. That means that the top 24.4% get paid.

Even the worst player will end up in the money if they persevere. It is not uncommon for people who aren't even playing to finish in the money. In other words, you could sign up for every freeroll, not play, and still end up in the black. All this with absolutely no risk your credit cards. Brilliant!

Now there are more to these freerolls than simply taking the money and running. The forum's goal is to create a community, and for the administrators to make money. It is expected, then, that if you do finish in the money in the freeroll that you play that week's forum buy-in tournament.

Before you drop your knowledge of Shakespeare with, "Aye, there's the rub," consider this: the weekly buy-in has a much higher payout, and still fewer entrants. For example, yesterday's buy-in had a prize pool of $115 and the top 10 were paid. There were 18 entrants. That means that 55.6% of players made their buy-in back and more.

I registered for a tournament a few weeks ago, but couldn't play as there was a technical snafu and the game started late. I woke up the next morning and discovered that I had finished in 3rd place and won $6. Not much you say, but that was for 30 seconds of work to find the password and register. I bought-in at that evening's tournament for $2.20 and outlasted 21 players and won $12.80 plus my $2.20 ($15 total). For playing one freeroll tournament, I was up $21. It took a little more than an hour.

As you sit there and shake your head, with your mouth agape at anyone who would worry about a measly $21, consider the risk: zero. I am risking nothing here. I'm spending time, sure, but I'm not dropping $10,000 on an entry into a high-profile event. I'm realistic about my abilities and know that the chances of me defeating 8,000+ other players (mostly professionals) is slim to none especially at this stage of the game. You have to train in order to win a marathon and it is foolish to believe that you can make 10 million dollars playing poker without training.

I'm having fun and using my leisure time, to practise my game, and to learn how to get better. I'd much rather do that and consistently make a small amount of money than to blow a big wad of my paycheque entering a tournament that I don't have any realistic chance at winning. In the past two weeks, I've won more than $55 simply by playing freerolls. I'm going to transfer that directly into my cash-game system (which, incidentally, has grown to $34.49). The results may seem small now, but through the process of learning, I am building a bankroll and gaining the wisdom to do something with it later on.

Nails Travails

Right now I'm just waiting for my hair to dry before I head over to get a haircut. Because my hair grows in so many different directions at once, it is important that it is washed and brushed before I go to the barber. I've been to get a haircut without the wash and it hasn't been pretty. With hair like mine, I would never be angry at a barber who was stumped and made a few mistakes. I just try to reduce that chance for error by doing the necessary prep-work.

I should never have stopped biting my nails. They are driving me crazy. The skin underneath is healing and is very itchy.

I'm back from getting my hair cut and my nails are still bugging me. I spent the afternoon cleaning my house. I swept and vaccuumed the whole place. I scrubbed down both bathrooms, and took care of dusting all the surfaces. I don't really know why I go so nuts with the cleaning, but it's all worth it when it's over. Still, with wet hands for much of the afternoon, my fingers are bugging me tonight.

I went to an engagement party a couple weekends ago and one of my readers was commenting on how he, too, was a chronic nail-biter. We lamented together how much we wanted to stop, but how difficult it was to do. We sounded like a couple of addicts.

My advice to him now would be to keep gnawing away. Fingernails are not all they're cracked up to be. I'm finding that the withdrawal symptoms of quiting are quite severe. I'm scratching myself a lot by mistake, my nails are getting caught on my clothing, and they snag into things like door jambs and bend back. In other words, I'm taking a beating. Harpo is enjoying the fingernails, and I must say that shampooing is much nicer. I'm sure that it's worth it, but I'm not feeling it right now.

Slight Change of Plans

After a very busy day yesterday, I had decided to not do too much today. I certainly wasn't expecting anything to happen. I got a phone call at 9:00 from a friend who had decided to take the day off and go golfing. Bing-bang-boom... I'm going golfing today.

I'll make time to explain yesterday when I get back. I'm sure that I will also explain the rage that goes hand and hand with my golf game.