Dignan and Anthony

RIP Facebook Condolences

2011-08-22T18:50:00.003-04:00

So Jack Layton died today. He was one of those rare politicians that garnered respect from all sides. Whether you agreed with his politics of not, it was obvious that he was a man of principles and integrity; qualities so unusual in someone in the limelight.

Before I seem insensitive, I should probably preface this by saying that I was saddened to hear of his death and feel as though Canadians have lost an important voice who spoke for them.

I am sick of reading about him on Facebook. Posting a status update or a link to a news article seems an inadequate way to express emotion, but is something that has inundated social media. I won't post anything about Jack Layton on my Facebook status for the same reason I won't write birthday wishes, new baby congratulations, or notes of sympathy on my friends' walls. It just doesn't seem sincere. It seems cold and fake to post a message that hundreds of other people have already done. If I really cared, wouldn't I do something more than spend 8 seconds writing a brief note on Facebook? Jack spent a few of his last moments taking the time to write a heartfelt letter to Canadians. I think he deserves more respect than "RIP Jack" on thousands of News Feed posts.

Call to Inaction

2011-08-16T19:50:00.003-04:00

I must first admit that from time to time I may have nothing better to do. I may have too much spare time. I may procrastinate. I may sit around doing nothing. I may waste time. I may be bored. I may have some spare time in my life. This does happen. I can admit that.

I can boldly declare, however, that I have never posted a comment at the end of a news story. I never will.

I find the user-posted comments to be utter rubbish. The family of Rick Rypien isn't going to go to cbcsports.ca and read the comments posted by readers at the end of an article discussing his death. Why they would be interested in sifting through comments like "RIP Rick: You are in a better place now", or "27 years old is way too soon to leave this world". These comments add nothing. The article provided excerpts of condolence from the NHL and the NHLPA. We all know it's sad when people die. I don't need someone to post it.

It is a journalists job to be balanced and unbiased. It is not the journalist's job to tell me how to feel. It should not be the role of "dovescry," "Crazed Monkey," or "sexyrexy" to tell me how I should feel after reading a news article.

For Real This Time

2011-08-15T14:51:00.002-04:00

Is it funny or pathetic that my last post was two years ago and its salient point was that I was getting back into regular blogging?

I've been talking to a few people who insist that I must return to this blog. I will, but I make no quality assurances. I'm just going to do what I've always done: be myself and write honestly.

A lot has changed in the six years from when I began this thing. I am concerned that I won't be able to write without being miserable. Since everything is going well, I'm sure that it won't be nearly as funny/tragic. I'll just use it to keep my mind sharp and if anyone reads it and wants to hire me to blog for money, write a screenplay, or produce a chapter of a book that can be shopped around to various publishing houses and optioned to the highest bidder, I could go for that. With the proper motivation I could keep this thing up.

Here's a song to which I can't stop listening.

Go Back to the World

2009-01-11T18:02:00.004-05:00

Since I'm getting back into this blogging thing, I think that I should apologize to anyone who may have been offended by anything that I've written in this blog. I wonder if there are some things that shouldn't be said in a blog, but then I think about what that might mean. Will self-censorship make this blog better, or will it make this blog worse?

Really, I stopped this blog for a while because I didn't like what it had become and I didn't like that everyone was taking everything in it so seriously. The whole thing was making me quite nervous, and so I stopped posting. With that, any kind of writing stopped. That concerned me. I can't just sit down at my computer and write. I like the idea that I have a little window that is satisfied with whatever piece of twaddle that fills it, and then off it goes out and brings something to the ether of cyberspace. A word processor is just a blank screen that brings nothing to anyone and only makes me not want to do it. The endless pages and word counts and animated paperclip aren't work conducive for me.

I drove back to Toronto this afternoon and gave myself a iPod mix tape. I focused mainly on Leonard Cohen and My Bloody Valentine tracks. I was particularly taken with Night Comes On.

"I'll go down to Bill's bar, I can make it that far, and I'll see if my friends are still there. Yes, and here's to the few who forgive what you do and the fewer who don't even care. And the night comes on it's very calm. I want to cross over, I want to go home, but she said, "Go back. Go back to the world."

Passing Through

2008-12-22T16:13:00.004-05:00

Busy day at work today, but I'm home now and working up the strength to write an essay. I have to finish a 20-page paper before the 10th. This sounds relatively easy since the deadline is weeks away, but I have tremendous difficulty completing work without the pressures of an imminent deadline. Still, with Christmas on Thursday, and the mounting self-imposed guilt/stress, I'd like to make some headway on it tonight and tomorrow. I expect that if I actually put forth even the slightest amount of effort I could put a good dent into it.

I must have listened to this song about a dozen times today.

2008-12-18T14:26:00.003-05:00

Just thought that I would update this blog since I haven't done so in a little while. It is natural to assume, therefore, that I am procrastinating.

I'm getting ready for Christmas which will be an unusual one this year. My sister and her family are going to be in England for a wedding, and my Dad is going on vacation to Vancouver. It would have been a good opportunity for my girlfriend's parents to meet my Dad, but neither she nor I could get the time off at Christmas as we are both very low on the seniority level. We won't get holidays at Christmas until we're in our 40s.

That means that I will be spending the few days off that I do have at home. M. and I are going to spend Christmas morning together and cook a nice dinner. We might go to the movies. I've never gone to the movies on Christmas Day before, but I've always thought that it must be a lot of fun. I expect that the number of people sneaking booze in must be higher on Christmas Day. Anyway, we're sticking fairly close to home and we're going to enjoy our 4 days off. With luck, the annual piss-up afternoon of World Junior Hockey will happen, too.

Apartment Rental

2007-11-18T09:43:00.000-05:00

I know that it has been a long time since my last post, but with a new job that often requires overtime, two graduate school courses, a long-distance relationship, my father, and sleep, I haven't had a lot of time to blog. I would like to, sure, but my days have been pretty busy.

I've been trying to rent the upstairs apartment this weekend. I showed it to a girl who was viewing it for a friend of hers. I emailed her the application form and received this back in response:

Dear Sir,

If you are writing for a reference for D.L., I can only say that he
is a marriage wrecking asshole who has been fucking my wife.

With good reason, I hate his fucking guts.

C.G.
husband of T.S.

Eat More Beef

2007-09-19T15:23:00.000-04:00

I couldn't be more livid right now. I'm the guns of the Navarone. I'm laying mushroom clouds. My pin is pulled.

My father called me last week because he wanted me to help him herd cows and send a few to the sale barn. I agreed since it makes me happy whenever my father wants to sell the damned things and every time he does he's one step closer to being rid of all of them forever.

I went to his farm yesterday afternoon and arrived at about 2:30. I started getting the pens ready and making sure that the fences and gates were well wired, secure, and as solid as possible. Cows, generally, don't mess with a fence if it looks strong. I opened up the gate and the cows came up from the bottom half of the property. They spend the summer down there eating grass and wandering; they do whatever it is that cows do when they have 100 acres to themselves.

The weeds in the barnyard are five feet tall, but that didn't stop them from busting into them. I had to get them into the sorting pen, but they weren't interested. I was hoping that I would be able to do this job by myself, but I became fearful that the cows had other ideas. At this point my father came home and I figured that we'd manage it.

My father is most certainly not the man he used to be. He hobbled around the barnyard and couldn't navigate the weeds. He was all but useless and managed to hurt more than he helped. We, aka I, chased them around the barnyard for an hour. I told my Dad that there was no way that we were going to be able to get them into the pen without more people helping. He agreed, but instead of asking for help, the stubborn fool, he got on the tractor and started chasing them around with it. The cows continued to evade us, and I fell down many times amongst the weeds. Eventually, my Dad gave up. The cows were tired after all of their exercise and needed a drink of water. I herded them up to the gate and when they found the water bowl, they gave up the charade and went into the pen. We shut them in and went into the house so that they could calm down and relax a little.

At 6:00, we headed back out to the pen to sort them. The sorting is very straightforward, really. The cows are moved from one pen into a smaller pen. The cows in the smaller pen are judged on whether they should be kept of sold. If they are to be kept, they are sent out into the barnyard and freedom; if they are to be sold they are put into a third pen. All cows with calves are kept, one bull is kept as are any "good-looking" cows. Bulls, cows that have lost their baby the previous winter, or trouble-makers are sold. The sorting worked fairly well and without too much difficulty. We had 14 animals to sell and we sent 24 animals back down the property. We headed inside at 7:45 and watched the baseball game.

At 6:00 as the sun was rising, I heard a lot of mooing outside. It was loud and frequent and actually woke me up-- no simple feat. I went outside and found two calves down the property mooing. It sounded like they were hungry and they certainly looked desperate so I tried to figure out which penned cows could have babies. You can usually tell by looking at their udders. It is much easier when the babies haven't nursed as the udder is usually large. The teets usually have cuts and they are usually cleaner than the cows without babies. Anyway, I found a couple of suspects.

I woke my Dad up and we had to resort the animals so that we could separate the two cows. We got one out and I walked her down the property. She went into the field with the other cows, but because it was foggy, she couldn't see the rest of the herd. She let out a loud bellow which was echoed by a calf in the white haze. She bellowed again and two calves emerged at a sprint from the fog. One stopped dead while the other started nursing furiously. I knew that there was, in fact, two mothers and that we would have to continue sorting. I turned to go back up to the pen and saw a cow coming towards me. She ran into the field and her calf ran over and nursed. Things quieted right down and I met my Dad at the pen. "How did you know it was her?" I asked. "She was anxious and ticked-off."

My Dad left to go to work and I waited for the trucker to arrive. He pulled in at 8:15. We backed in his truck and got ready to move the cows. I borrowed his pocket knife so that I could cut the strings off of a bale of hay so that we could cover the ramp with hay. We were ready to go.

We moved the cows into the smaller pen and the idea is to herd them around the fence, down a chute, and up into the truck. We started out and when they were halfway down the chute, they stopped, turned around and headed back towards us. So much for this being easy. The cows raced around the pen and we did our best to get them down the chute again.

Cows get this look in their eyes when they are about to jump a fence. You just know when it's about to happen. We focused on getting the animals in in small groups, so we sent three down the chute and, to our surprise, one actually went in. This is a good thing because cows hate being alone or being the first to do anything. I hoped that the rest would see this one on the truck and head on up. At that moment, the 1800 pound bull reared up onto his back legs and started his ascent over the gate. He pushed off with his mighty back legs and tucked his front legs under his chest. His head and torso, graciously really, cleared the gate and his back end flopped down on top of it crushing it like a pop can. The post broke off at the ground and after he kicked his back leg free from the gate, he ran into the holding pen.

I thought that this was a stork of good luck since he hadn't bolted down the property. I closed him into the third pen and returned to try and fix what was left of the gate. I managed to get it back up and looking somewhat respectable again. We manged to get six more cows on the truck. There were just three cows left to load and the bull in the third pen. I decided that it would be best to try to get him back in with the others so I walked over to his pen and as I unhooked the gate he pulled another hunter/jumper act and pulled the same stunt. This time he left the wooden fence as kindling.

That sorted things out a bit since we didn't have to worry about him anymore and we directed out attention to the other three animals. They weren't interested in doing cooperating and one cow smashed through another fence. She used a different technique than the bull and put down her head and charged through as hard as she could. Both, incidentally, have the same result. She ran down the property and I started patching the fence.

The remaining two cows were profoundly spooked and we managed to get one of them onto the truck. We struggled to get the last one in, but she decided that it wasn't for her. The one on the truck came back off and we tried getting them back together, but the stubborn one just wouldn't go. Eventually, they grew bored of the game and knocked my patchwork fence over. We called it quits at that.

Mister cattle trucker was a real piece of work. He made sure to tell me all the things that I was going to have to do in order to create a proper area for loading cows. I was covered in liquid cow shit (In the summer cows eat fresh grass which makes their manure very loose, pungent, and a dark green colour as opposed to the winter when they eat hay and produce more solid less odorous feces.) and was unwilling to accept the fact that our pens had been destroyed and that my goal had gone unmet. I surveyed the four smashed gates, the seven snapped fence posts, and the dozen or so broken fence rails. I mentally set myself a ruined weekend of repairs sometime down the road.

The truck drove on down the road and I headed down the hill to reunite the "keepers" with the "malcontents." I opened a few gates and herded them together. They will spend the rest of the fall down the property eating grass and then head up to the barnyard for the winter. Until then, I hope I don't see them. I got onto the tractor to give them some hay and when I sat down my jeans tightened and I felt something in my pocket. The knife! I had forgotten to return the trucker's pocketknife.

I fed the hay and went into the house to get the garbage and recycling. I tried calling the trucker, but no one was home (rather obviously). I went to the dump. As I was there I asked the attendant if he knew if there was a cattle trucker in the area and where he lived. It turned out that he knew him and I got directions to his house. I drove by and put the knife in his mailbox.

When I got home, I stripped down in front of the washing machine. I headed up for a shower. I grabbed my toiletries bag and went to the bathroom. I couldn't bear to have a shower at my Dad's house (the water pressure is very poor) and I figured that I wouldn't see anyone so I would just get the hell out of there. I left the bag on the counter because I was going to come back and brush my teeth. I went to my room got changed, and packed up. I headed downstairs grabbed some water and an apple and headed off. It wasn't until Cobourg that I realized that I had left all my toilet stuff on the counter of the bathroom. I had a mini freak-out.

I managed to get home safely. I really did a number on myself. I put $85 of gas in the truck, had $16 worth of fast food, and spent $12 replacing my toothbrush and razor (I can do without the rest, I think). My Dad gave me $65 in change, so I'm not only down the mental anguish and the knowledge of a job failed, but I'm also down $48 I don't have.

A funny thing struck me on the highway. It actually made me very sad. I thought about how much I hate cows. I thought about how much they have taken from my life and how miserable they have made me over the last 30 years. I thought about their eyes as we were shooing them into the truck. I thought about what's behind those eyes. I'm sure nothing, but there is a life force. Those cows that wouldn't play the game are going to eat grass for another few weeks. They're going to eat hay all winter. They're going to procreate and sleep and eat. They will live and the others will die. There's no getting around it. Those animals that got into that truck were on their way to the sale barn and then to slaughter. It made me wonder about it all and I felt sorry for them. I felt sorry that that's what their life is. Despite all the suffering that they have brought me I still wished that I could keep them all and let them wander around the farm until they can't wander any more. But that's not the way the world works though and I know it.

Days Off

2007-09-17T11:59:00.000-04:00

I have downloaded Google Earth and have grabbed the latest KML file so that I can examine the satellite imagery where Steve Fossett is suspected to be. Google Earth is very impressive, but leaves me thinking that this kind of stuff shouldn't exist. Check out this to get the coordinates.

I've also been watching a lot of youtube lately. I've discovered "Spaced" from the brains behind "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz."

I also came across this clip of Stephen Merchant on UK's "Blockbusters."

Post Game

2007-09-13T10:19:00.000-04:00

I wasn't able to make it to the baseball game on Tuesday. I had a meeting which ran late and turned into a couple of drinks.

I did manage to go yesterday. It was a crazy day.

I was up at 7:00. I used the bathroom and heard the people upstairs stomping around. I heard the toilet seat go up. I heard it flush. I listened carefully and heard the water drain down from the shower. I waited until they were finished and then took a shower of my own.

I got dressed and headed out for a job interview. I took my last $2.75 and jumped on the streetcar and headed south to Queen. I waited for about 10 minutes for the westbound Queen streetcar and when it finally arrived, I waited to climb the back stairs. Five people, all of whom arrived at the bustop after me, climbed in and packed in around the top of the stairs. I stepped in, but with nowhere to go, I had to get back out. The back of the streetcar was empty, yet, I couldn't get on because there were too many people crowded around the door. We're living in a society here people! We have to work together to make it work properly!

I was livid and started to get worried about whether or not I would make my interview. The next car arrived in about 5 minutes and I was on my way again. After University, Bay, and Yonge, the streetcar emptied and I got a seat at the back. When we were stopped at Victoria, I saw a scavenger of human misery ticketing an illegally parked truck. The driver appeared and pled his case. As he was doing so the guy slipped the parking ticket under his wiper. I opened up the back window and said, "You're giving HIM a ticket? You're parked in front of a hydrant right over there!" The "officer's" car was in front of a hydrant, but the streetcar was moving again before I could see the results. A part of me wished that I could hang around, but wiser heads prevailed and I went to my interview.

I arrived at my interview at 9:15- 30 minutes early. I waited until 10:25 before I actually got in. I didn't really care since I didn't have anything better to do. As I sat there, I began to wonder how I was going to get home as the only money I had on me was used to take the streetcar. The interview went well and I got the job.

I started to walk West and was expecting a long trek. I eventually came across a Scotiabank and took out my last $10 at the teller. I managed to catch the streetcar and went back downtown. I had a nice lunch with a friend and decided that it was probably best to walk home. I headed up to the Bob Miller Book Room to pick up a book for my course. I went to the CIBC to deposit a cheque for my Dad. I headed home, printed directions to a friend's house and then drove out to Broadview.

A friend is moving out of town and I wanted to help him if I could. I have my Dad's pick-up truck and so I loaded the truck up with books, a ceiling fan, and an old computer which I took to the Buddhist temple on College. It didn't take very long.

I pulled into the driveway and, without even going into the house, I headed to the subway. I headed down to the Skydome (it will always be Skydome to me) to the Jays-Yankees game. Again, I was frustrated with two things on the subway ride: one, people waiting to get on cursing the fact that people exiting the car prevented them from pushing through the door; and two, the escalator that was going down leaving everyone to climb the stairs.

Anyway, I got to the dome and bought my ticket. I rished around to my gate only to discover that there was a queue. It was 5:00 and the doors weren't open. A bunch of people were talking so that was good eavesdropping fodder, and the vendors shouting was moderately annoying, but the gates ended up opening at 5:30.

I staked out a good spot in the right-centrefield seats and waited. A few balls were hit around me, but I didn't have much luck. Actually, one was totally catchable, but I didn't get to it in time and it hit off the railing and bounced back onto the field. Quite a few balls were hit below me behind the fence. An employee was picking a few of them up, but after a little while, one of the Yankees' relievers or bullpen catchers arrived and chucked the balls up into the crowd. Because I saw him and was paying attention, I asked for one and he threw it to me.

So I did get a major league ball. Sure, I didn't catch it during a game. Sure, I didn't catch it at all, but I do have one. It's marked up from the turf and has a scuff, likely from ricocheting off of concrete, but it's clean and white and smells amazing.

The game was all right. They opened the dome after BP and it was cold up on the fifth deck. The Jays got smoked again, but I had a few pops and lots of salt.

I'm still going to work on catching a ball. I might as well enjoy this time off since it won't be long until I'm one of the people who complains about their job and how they never have time to enjoy themselves.

Pre-Game

2007-09-11T13:26:00.000-04:00

I'm not too happy with the Blue Jays right now after watching them lose 5-4 in the bottom of the ninth with two out after being up 4-1 not just once, but twice, in the last three games.

Still, I'm going to the game tonight. Getting an official MLB ball has been something that I've wanted to do since I was a little boy and I've decided that I'm going to make a strong effort to meet that goal this week.

I'm heading to the game early so that I can attend batting practice. I'm planning to keep the elbows up and to haul one in whether it means destroying the dream of other little boys around me.

I Ride the Greyhound Bus

2007-09-06T16:07:00.000-04:00

I've been out of town since Monday evening and my father kiboshed my plans for the weekend so I had to take the bus. I was going to drive into Toronto this afternoon and then go to a meeting and an interview tonight and tomorrow morning and then drive back, return the car and take a bus home on Monday morning. Instead, I bussed it home today and will take the train to Kingston tomorrow and then get a ride to my Dad's farm. He wants to sell some cows and needs help sorting them. Apparently, the very whisper of selling cows makes me drop everything.

I wasn't looking forward to taking the bus. The last bus I took was from New York City. It was one of the single worst experiences of my life, and I swore to myself that I would never take the bus again. Alas, here I was at the bus station at 8:25 in the morning.

I had purchased my ticket online last night and had my reference number ready. I presented it to the ticket agent. He printed up my ticket and asked, "How much did you pay for this ticket online?" I answered, "Sixty-seven dollars." With a cheery grin that only a middle-aged, heavily wrinkled, small-town Greyhound Bus ticket agent could have he clacked away on his grimy keyboard with one finger and informed me that it would have been cheaper to buy the ticket from him, "You would have only paid forty-seven, taxes in."

Since I saw no automatic nice-guy-discount forthcoming, I grumbled, "It would be cheaper for me to pay the $15 cancellation fee and buy a new ticket now!" He lorded a harrumph over me and I took my ticket and left.

Bus stations are the filthiest, nastiest places that infrastructure has created. They have all, surely, never been mopped, windexed, or dusted. What surprises me time and again is simply the patchwork quilt of people that are found there. The man running the cafe was a 300-pound body builder type with a small head. He played a racing car game when he wasn't taking orders. There was a woman, and I use this term loosely, who was giggling like Butthead. A daughter with a face like a catcher's mitt was sitting with her elderly parents. There was a sign which read, "You're going places." It had a picture of two people laughing. It advertised Greyhound's "companion rate" and I wondered how many people actually laugh when they are about to take a five-and-a-half hour bus ride.

The bus was completely full. I was hopeful that it would be oversold and that they would have to haul out another one, but no such luck. I was one of the last people to get onto the bus even though I had waited for more than 90 minutes in the terminal. It's every person for themselves in that kind of situation and I just didn't have the energy or the temperament to bother. I sat beside a middle-aged woman. I had a tiny little bag and she was quick to point out that I could put it in the overhead compartment. She said it as if there was no way that I could have had any experience with something as complex as overhead stowage.

I sat down in my aisle seat and immediately bumped my foot against something to my left. I looked down to find that it was her foot. She had a huge black shoulder bag at her feet. It took up so much space that she had to put her legs into what was clearly my side of the seat. Butthead started murmuring again and I put on my iPod. I wanted to make sure that it was painfully clear that I was not going to talk to anyone around me on this trip. We sat at the terminal for about 20 minutes before we hit the road. As soon as we started moving, the woman tapped my arm and wanted to get into the overhead compartment to get a catalogue. I moved for her and she dug out grocery bag. It contained the Sears Wishbook. Over the next 45 minutes, she leafed though it and I couldn't tell if she was circling all the items that she was going to purchased or if she was circling all the items that she "wished" people would buy for her.

I managed to sleep. I really don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had my iPod. The trip was relatively uneventful, but as we drove through downtown Toronto I took off my headphones. My ears were a little sore and I wanted a break from them. As we passed the new addition to the AGO, Butthead in the back remarked, "That's a funky fresh building!" What would I have done if my batteries had died, or if my headphones had shorted out? Would I have survived the trip if I hadn't been able to cocoon away?

I walked from the bus station to my house and am going to head off to the university for an orientation session. I know that these things are a complete waste of time, but I had better at least make an effort to get involved. I'm going to Grad School and should probably not be a nonchalant as I was in my previous degrees.

2007-08-31T00:29:00.001-04:00

“But there is no doubt about the deadening, debilitating effect of unemployment upon everybody, married or single, and upon men more than upon women. The best intellects will not stand up against it. Once or twice it has happened to me to meet unemployed men of genuine literary ability; there are others whom I haven’t met but whose work I occasionally see in the magazines. Now and again, at long intervals, these men will produce an article or a short story which is quite obviously better than most of the stuff that gets whooped up by the blurb-reviewers. Why, then, do they make so little use of their talents? They have all the leisure in the world; why don’t they sit down and write books? Because to write books you need not only comfort and solitude—and solitude is never easy to obtain in a working class home—you also need peace of mind. You can’t settle to anything, you can’t command the spirit of hope in which everything has got to be created, with that dull evil cloud of unemployment hanging over you.”
-- George Orwell “The Road to Wigan Pier” (page 81-82).

This sums my situation up pretty well and gives a good excuse for not blogging. You can believe that if you want.

The Build-up Begins

2007-07-30T12:57:00.000-04:00

I'm psyched for the new Wes Anderson film. Sadly, I doubt that I will be visiting the locations from the film as I have with Bottle Rocket and Rushmore.

A Job Done

2007-07-27T08:21:00.001-04:00

The haying is officially finished. I was back at the farm on the 15th. I picked up bales for a couple of days, but the rains began on Thursday the 19th. I didn't really mind since it meant that I could spend the day watching the British Open. There were problems with the house in Toronto so I had to rush up there to deal with some water problems. Apparently the flash flooding caused some leaking in the basement apartment. I dealt with that and was back at the farm on Friday the 20th.

It was raining on the Friday, so my plan to work was replaced with golf-watching. It had rained so much that the two front fields had giant springtimeish puddles in the low spots. Nevertheless, what we had been hoping for was finally being forecasted: a straight stretch of nothing but sun. We watched the weather maps and a big high pressure front was heading down along the jet stream towards us.

On Saturday morning, I was on the fields by 10am (after the dew had dried off) and cutting hay. Though the fields were wet in spots and the haybine was, at times, underwater, I didn't care. I knew that this was my chance to finish this awful job and that most of the water would dry up. The hay was going to take a little longer to dry, but the weather was finally cooperating and I knew we could afford the extra time.

I finished cutting the final 6 fields on Saturday and had Sunday off while they dried. I watched the British Open.

My Dad had to go to work on Monday so I was left to rake and bale by myself. The hay was almost ready and just needed to be raked and to dry for a few more hours. Some parts were still wet, but I wasn't going to panic about the odd spot that wasn't quite done. I started raking at 10:30 and finished three fields at 3:00. After a few glassed of water and some chocolate cookies, I headed out to bale.

The baling started out well, but after making about 30 bales I noticed that as I closed the door there was a puff of oil coming from the side of the machine. I investigated, and discovered that one of the hydraulic tubes had been worn away by an errant gear chain. The pressure of the oil had burst the tube. Every time I closed the door (i.e. used that hydraulic tube) oil poured out.

Hydraulic oil is very expensive for one thing, but I knew that this breakdown was going to have to be fixed before I could continue baling. Oil was pouring down the side of the machine and getting into the bales and as much as I would like all of the cows to die, I didn't want them poisoned. I headed up to the house to make the repairs.

It was 6:15 at this point and, of course, all the farm supply shops were closed. I also discovered that that particular tube was very complicated. It weaved in and out through the machine and replacing it was going to be a major job that required taking large sections of the baler apart. I abandoned replacing it and tried to think of how I could repair it.

I tried using metal tape, but it did nothing. The pressure was just to great and it continued to leak. I got out the soldering equipment and hoped that liquid metal would seal up the hole and be thick enough to keep it together until the end of the job. We could take it to the welder to have it properly repaired once the 40 acres of hay was off the ground.

My Dad got home from work and the solder did manage to repair the hydraulic tube. It wasn't perfect, but we thought that it would be good enough. It was too dark to return to the fields, so we went inside for supper. (Not to be confused with dinner. In farming country, "dinner" is the second meal of the day.) I watched Hell's Kitchen, and the vastly superior Gordon Ramsay offering, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares.

I was up early on Tuesday. My Dad called me to warn me that there was rain in Kingston and that I'd better get the raked hay baled up just in case it moved our way. The soldering job seemed to be working and I managed to bale the raked fields from the previous day. My Dad booked the afternoon off of work and we worked on the last three fields. The final bale rolled out at 5:36pm. We made 618 bales all together.

I started bringing the new bales up from the fields and stacking them. I had already cleared off the other 10 fields, but the problem with working on the bottom part of the farm is that there is a lot of travel time. It takes almost an hour to drive to the bottom fields, load up the wagon with the 14 bales, drive back to the house and then stack the 14 bales of hay. It isn't a difficult job, but when you have to make 12 trips, it is a pain.

I got up early on Wednesday and was in town at 8:15 to buy two new tarps for the haystacks. We made so many bales this year that we ran out of covers. I bought two 48' x 23' tarps and bought 10 ten-foot pieces of re-bar. It has taken us many years of trial and error to come up with the best way to cover the hay and to keep it covered. I worked all day on Wednesday and managed to finish. My butt and lower back were sore from bouncing around on the tractor, and my wrist was sore from steering and operating the bucket.

So on Wednesday night, I had a couple of beers to celebrate the end of the job.

I got up early again on Thursday to get myself organized. I needed to pack and hit the road without leaving any loose ends. I'm staying at my girlfriend's house, but unfortunately had to bring my Dad's dog. He has some big plans this weekend and couldn't leave her at home and couldn't take her with him. We're meeting at the cottage so that I can return her, but in the meantime I've got a standard poodle in tow.

She rode well in the backseat of the pickup truck for the 5.5 hour drive yesterday. I'm always very nervous when she's in a small apartment because not only is she big, but she's high-energy and loves to bark. She's used to living in the country and all the noises of an apartment building and the street noise usually has her on edge. She growls at noises for most of the day and I'm afraid that she's going to disturb the neighbours. I can't leave her alone because I can't handle it when she barks as I walk downstairs. As a result, she came running with us last night. We were going to run a short 4 kilometres around the neighbourhood. She was very excited at first and pulled at the leash, but as time and distance dragged on, she dropped back to the point of having to be pulled. For the last 800 metres or so, I had to walk and she still slugged along behind with her toenails scraping occasionally on the sidewalk.

I haven't done much today because I want to stay here with the dog. We're heading to the cottage for a weekend on the dock in about 45 minutes. I'm sure exactly what I'm going to do when I don't have a monumental chore to do, but I'm sure that it won't be long until something else comes along to keep me busy.

Diagram Fun

2007-07-11T21:24:00.000-04:00

I found this in an old instruction manual for a McCulloch Pro Mac 610/650 chainsaw. It's good for a few laughs. If you click on it you can get a larger picture.

400 Up!

2007-07-04T20:24:00.000-04:00

Blog post number 400. Yeah!

Still at the farm, but the work has been halted. Rain has hit and we have been forced to wait until it blows over. Sadly, it looks like it'll be here until Saturday, or even Sunday. There isn't much that we can do except wait for sunny skies. I have explained the haying process last summer, but the brief version is that the grass is cut and must dry for two to four days before it can be raked and baled. If it is not dry when it is baled, the moisture will cause the bales to heat up and decompose. The cows won't eat the hay since it is rotten and the bales, when stacked, are a fire hazard.

So, we wait for a stretch of nice weather. The jet stream is dotted all the way to the Pacific Ocean with specks of rain-bringing-lows. Here's our progress so far:

Cut: 9/16
Raked: 9/16
Baled: 9/16
Stacked: 6/16

Things are going well and we haven't had any breakdowns or any real problems. I've been working well and that makes this rain delay all the more frustrating.

Farm Life

2007-06-30T21:09:00.000-04:00

I amin the middle of haying on my father's farm. I'm realizing more and more each week that my father is in poor health and is physically unable to maintain this farm. It is my job to do the haying, I guess.

Here's a progress report:

Cut: 9/16
Raked: 5/16
Baled: 5/16
Stacked: 0/16

The weather was supposed to be beautiful all weekend, but there was a big rain this afternoon at about 4:30. That should put me behind, and will ruin 2 big fields. I doesn't matter though.

I was planning to write a long entry here, but this room has too many mosquitoes. They are eating me alive. More later, I hope.

Weekend Away

2007-06-17T20:24:00.000-04:00

I gave platelets on Friday, and watched Wedding Crashers. I was thoroughly disappointed with the film, but the donation went well. My donation went over to Sick Kids.

I headed out of Toronto at 4:00, but didn't get to Barrie until 7:00. Dumb Friday-night-get-me-out-of-Toronto-as-quickly-as-possible traffic.

Saturday was all about errands and golf. We headed out to the course for a 3:00 tee time, and no one in our foursome played particularly well, but the rainclouds rolled over and thunder started rumbling at the 6th tee. The warning horn sounded and we ended up getting a rain check for a free round. I was super happy, because I played 5 holes for free and during my usual detours through the woods, I found 11 golf balls.

We went to the beach today. The lake was warm, but we didn't spend too long there. I did manage to get a terrific sunburn on the tops of my legs.

We watched the U.S. Open this afternoon. Though we didn't get it on the television since we only have an antenna. We did watch it on TSN braodband though. We were skeptical at first, but the speed and quality were quite good. The resolution wasn't fantastic at full-screen mode, but there weren't huge delays, and we could still see the ball. I was actually very impressed. It was commercial-free (except for a few brief ads before the presentation started) and it was obvious that when the network cut away for an ad break, we had bonus coverage. It was a great experience and I will not only watch golf this way again, but would also highly recommend it. It won't be long until all television is done this way, and, hopefully, it will remain free.

I'm heading back to my Dad's tomorrow. The weather has been nice, and we've started our haying. I'm hoping that a few stretches of nice weather will mean that we can get the whole thing done quickly. Things never work out smoothly on the farm though, so anything can happen. I'll try to keep the world informed over the coming weeks.

News Brief

2007-06-15T09:00:00.000-04:00

I'm back in Toronto briefly. I'm giving platelets today and then heading out again for the weekend. I haven't had reliable Internet for such a long time, but "Last published on May 9th" is pathetic.

My father is driving me crazy, and I really don't want to be there to help anymore. The haying has started which should make things a little easier, I hope. We just need some stretches of nice weather.

I have so much to do today, and so I've squeezed in this time to blog. I don't know why that's the case, but it always is: busy equals blog, sitting around putting in time equals nothing.

Detour

2007-05-09T13:36:00.000-04:00

There has been a slight change of plan.

I donated platelets yesterday as expected. I discovered that they were on their way to Princess Margaret's hospital. It made me feel good to know that I was helping someone who had a tough case of Cancer.

Anyway, I ate lunch and called my sister. It turned out that she didn't need the stone and so I decided to just head to my Dad's instead of waiting around. I arrived at his house at about 6:30.

I got a call at about 9:00 about the upstairs apartment. The radiators were still on and it was hot in the apartment. I tried to deal with it as well as possible from 400 km away, but decided that the easiest thing would be to just head back.

I left this morning at 7:00 and arrived back in Toronto at 11:30. I called the heating company, but they weren't able to come and look at things until Tuesday. I couldn't just leave it until then so I turned off the furnace fuse and it appears as though the rads are cooling. I will leave things until Tuesday when the repairman will reinstall the adjustable thermostats on the upstairs rads.

I noticed that the air conditioner had been turned on and I felt the vents to see if it was working. I couldn't feel any cold air so I went outside to look at the machine and, sure enough, it was frozen up. I went back inside, turned it off to thaw and called the repairman to come and do a spring cleaning. He's supposed to arrive between 7 and 8 to fix it.

So I'm here until tomorrow night because my Dad's dog is supposed to get a haircut on Friday. He is working on Thursday morning and doesn't want to leave her in the car or drive home to pick her up before he heads to Toronto for a reunion that evening. I'm in charge of the dog until Thursday evening and then will be on my way to the farm so that I can go to a doctor's appointment on Friday morning.

I don't really see the point in making plans since everything just gets screwed up anyway.

Tuesday's Plan

2007-05-08T09:30:00.000-04:00

I'm heading off to give blood and then I'm going to have lunch and head to my sister's house later on this afternoon. Actually, in order to avoid traffic, I will leave right after I eat and then drive to the burbs and watch a movie until she and her husband and baby get home from work. The truck that I'm driving is full of flagstones and they want to swipe a few of them before I take them to my Dad's house. I haven't seen my niece since Christmas and I should probably visit for a little while. There isn't much point waiting around all afternoon only to get stuck in rushhour traffic so I'll head to the movies and kill some time.

Blood Brother/Sister

2007-05-07T09:45:00.000-04:00

I have long been a blood donor. I started making donations when I was in Montreal. It was easy to donate because clinics were held at McGill and it was easy to just stop in before or after class.

I stopped donating when I moved to Saskatoon. I think that it was simply because I was very busy and just didn't think about making time for it. Plus, it was out of my mind and any donation would require a special effort to plan and to attend.

I started donating again when I began work at the CBC. They hold clinics in the atrium every few months and again it was easy to attend. When I stopped working there, I still walked down and made donations there.

I thought that I should start going to a location that was closer to my house. I made my last donation about 10 blocks away from home and as I was recovering with my Peek Freans cookies and styrofoam cup with artificially peach flavoured sugar water, I read a pamphlet about platelet donation.

You can read the details here, but platelets are a part of blood cells that allow blood to clot. During the 90-minute donation, blood goes into a machine that removes the platelets. The blood is then returned to the body. Platelets are stored in the body and they are replaced in the blood quickly. Canadian Blood Services can make platelets by using the blood of as many as 8 donors, but this is costly and time consuming. The main difficulty is that platelets must be matched according to blood type, but also to HLA type. The chances of matching within a family is 1 in 4, and the chances of an unrelated match is 1 in 10,000. These are the same odds as finding a bone marrow match.

I have an appointment to donate platelets tomorrow. I was expecting to just have my platelets used as a blood product, but after getting a reminder call this morning, apparently there has been a match and my platelets will be going to a specific patient.

That makes me feel good and I expect that I will be donating frequently for a while now. I can donate every two weeks and so my arms are going to be a little cut up. At least I can know that my donation is going to make a difference to someone. I suppose that it always does, but this will seem more tangible.

Denouement

2007-05-06T20:35:00.000-04:00

Days like this are the worst. I'm sad, but there isn't anything to do but wait. It was a good friend's wedding yesterday and I had a wonderful time. It was an amazing day and I had so much fun. The problem is after a year of looking forward to it and preparing, it's over. I always feel bummed out when a big event like this passes. It probably doesn't help that I had a terrible hangover.

2007-04-28T21:51:00.000-04:00

I'm back in Toronto after a few weeks at my Dad's. I'll be here until a wedding on May 5th, and with access to reliable internet, I hope to be posting more frequently.

M.I.A.

2007-04-12T09:15:00.000-04:00

I've been at my Dad's house since last Wednesday and haven't had a chance to post. I decided that I would keep him company for a while and do some work on the farm. I've been working hard, but don't have a lot to show. There is a lot of work that needs to be done here and it will take many months before it will be completed. Still, each job that gets done is noticable in a small way and with time things will get organized.

I've decided that I'm going to spend most of the next four months here. I'll pick away at the jobs and get things organized. My father has felt very overwhelmed by everything and I've got the time to help him. I expect that I'll be back and forth quite a lot, but I think that staying here and working for the spring and summer is the best thing to do.

2007-04-02T15:28:00.000-04:00

A very interesting problem has arisen. *** bought a ticket for my friend's wedding on May 5th. She planned to fly from Iqaluit to Ottawa on May 2nd. First Air was offering a seat sale at significant discounts. We decided that she should book her flight.

Since paying $950 for a round trip flight, she has been offered and accepted a job in Sudbury, Ontario which will begin on May 1st.

The problem, of course, is that she will no longer need her previously booked flight. She tried to get the money refunded, but according to the long conditions document that no one reads, the tickets are non-refundable and non-transferrable.

We had resigned ourselves to the horrifying reality that we had lost the $1000 tickets. What a load of garbage.

We investigated switching the tickets to another day, and discovered that if she wanted to fly this weekend, leaving on Thursday would cost $886, and leaving on Friday would cost $664. It seems like a lot to spend, but you have to remember that we've already had $1000 gouged from us.

I was supposed to go to Niagara Falls to visit my Uncle Aunt and cousin.

In making this decision I did the following calcualtions:

Thursday Flight
(With me going to Niagara Falls for family dinner)
Cost = $886
Time together = 79 hours
Cost per hour together = $11.22

Friday Flight
(With me going to Niagara Falls for family dinner-- I wouldn't be able to get her until Saturday)
Cost = $664
Time together = 44 hours
Cost per hour together = $15.09

The choice is clear. I considered this also:

Thursday Flight
(With no trip to Niagara Falls)
Cost = $886
Time together = 87 hours
Cost per hour together = $10.18

Friday Flight
(With no trip to Niagara Falls)
Cost = $664
Time together = 67 hours
Cost per hour together = $10.53

Okay, so this changes things a bit. It' best for me not to go to Niagara Falls, but still better for her to come on Thursday.

The work would be finished except that I had to consider one more variable: shipping.

Shipping goods from the north is tremendously expensive. By travelling this weekend, *** will be able to bring 2 bags of goods home as checked baggage. By giving herself tow extra bags, she will be able to bring more things home that she might have otherwise just left (dishes, blankets, clothes, laundry soap, etc.). She would have to rebuy those goods if she was to just give them away or throw them out. By estimating the savings of shipping and the additional two packages of baggage, we need to change our cost for the flight.

We figure that two bags of necessary stuff would be about $400. This considers shipping costs for essential items and the cost of replacing items later on that she might otherwise have left behind.

Thursday Flight
(With me going to Niagara Falls for family dinner)
Cost = $486
Time together = 79 hours
Cost per hour together = $6.15

Friday Flight
(With me going to Niagara Falls for family dinner-- I wouldn't be able to get her until Saturday)
Cost = $264
Time together = 44 hours
Cost per hour together = $6

Thursday Flight
(With no trip to Niagara Falls)
Cost = $486
Time together = 87 hours
Cost per hour together = $5.59

Friday Flight
(With no trip to Niagara Falls)
Cost = $264
Time together = 67 hours
Cost per hour together = $3.94

There we have a very big difference. Clearly, on its own, not going to Niagara Falls is the right thing to do except if you consider the benefits of seeing my family all of whom I have not seen for more than two years. From a cost/trip perspective, though, Niagara Falls is not a good idea.

The flight is much more reasonable when you consider the shipping savings, but it changes the cost per hour together numbers. *** has decided, despite the clear-cut numbers evidence, to come this Thursday and I will more than likely go to Niagara Falls with my Dad. That will give her time to visit with friends and to do some big-city living, and will mean that I can visit with the part of my family that I don't visit very often. Even though that costs us the most, it's worth more in the end.

The Right Move

2007-03-31T10:35:00.000-04:00

I just barely made my flight out of Iqaluit, because I was rushing around trying to buy an ulu. I didn't end up getting one, but managed to just get on my plane. I did, however, learn a valuable lesson about buying things as soon as you see them rather than waiting to find something better.

My flight was fine. I am very dissatisfied with First Air and wish that I had been able to fly Canadian North instead, but I didn't have a choice. My Dad picked me up and drove me to his farm.

I worked all day on Friday doing yardwork at the farm and then got a ride to the airport. Now is the best time to work outside, because it's mild, but the ground isn't muddy and the bugs aren't out yet.

I was very impressed with Air Canada's self-service check-in terminals. I especially liked the seat-chosing feature where you can look at the plane and pick the seat you want. I wanted an aisle seat, but they were all taken so I took a middle seat in the one row that only had two seats. Though it was considered a middle seat, it was in reality an aisle. When I dropped off n itmy bag the agent asked if I was travelling alone and if I would prefer a non-middle seat. I told him what I had done, and he looked it up for himself and said, "Nice choice."

The flight was fine and I was lucky enough to get an airport pick-up.

It turned out that a bad blizzard did hit Iqaluit and that the flights were unable to land and take-off. I made the right decision to leave on Thursday. That doesn't happen often, but it feels good when I do something right.

We All Knew It Was Coming

2007-03-29T07:21:00.000-04:00

Just when you think that everything is going according to plan and that everything will work out, then something comes along and kicks you back. Nothing can ever be easy.

I woke up this morning and turned on the computer. The Weather Netowork's Weather Eye program on this computer's taskbar opened up with Iqaluit's weather conditions. The dreaded red bar appeared at the top of the screen: "Winter Storm Watch."

I clicked through and discovered that there are blizzard conditions in Pond Inlet and that they are heading to Iqaluit tomorrow. That means that it is very likely that my flight will be cancelled and I won't be able to make it home for the bachelor party that I'm hosting.

I called Canadian North to see if I could fly with them this evening, but because of the blizzard yesterday the flight is not available. They said that they will fly tomorrow, but then that doesn't help me because the flight will be cancelled as well.

I called First Air and they do have a flight for today. It will cost an unnatural amount of money to switch the ticket as they will not honour the discounted fare and simply switch it. It will cost $651 to switch to today's flight. Nevertheless, I booked it. I'm leaving at 1:45 today and flying into Ottawa. I still have to check the Ottawa/Toronto flights, but will investigate a little later.

The problem too is that I now have to tell the people at the elementary school that I won't be able to teach this afternoon. It might be very difficult to find another supply teacher, but there isn't very much that I can do. I feel horrible about short-changing them, but I will see if they want me for the morning and then head off at 11:45. It is especially painful since I am not only spending all that money, but I'm losing money in lost wages. It doesn't really matter. Money isn't what's important in life and as much as I would like to conserve what little I have, I'm not going to let it overwhelm my life.

Addendum: I discovered that my flight from Toronto was non-refundable, and non-transferable. That means that if I don't take my flight tomorrow, I lose the $90 and have to purchase a ticket for today. The cheapest flight today was $176.67. I decided after the thorough gouging that I'd already endured that I would just spend the night at my father's house. I'll be in Toronto tomorrow evening.

Snowed In

2007-03-28T11:32:00.000-04:00

The blizzard hit yesterday at noon. There was no announcement on the radio, so all the kids came back for 1:05 and the school closed at 1:10. I had to call parents to come and pick their children up. I didn't get home until about 2:00 which was fine since I was still paid until 3:40. The kids were very upset about not being able to go swimming, but I was very relieved that I didn't have to fill three hours yesterday afternoon with students who were not happy.

I was scheduled to work today, and they wanted to book me everyday until the middle of next week. I told them that I was heading back to Toronto on Friday (which is true), they booked me until Thursday. I was especially happy to be booked for today because the blizzard was supposed to last until lunchtime. That would mean a morning off with pay.

Indeed, the storm lasted all night and schools were in fact closed for the morning. We were asked to listen to the local radio for opening announcements at 12:00. It's actually beautiful outside and I was all set to go in for the afternoon, but apparently the road crews haven't been out and so the roads are still impassable.

So the announcement has just come on the radio. Everything seems to be reopening this afternoon. Wait...! The schools are closed! I guess they don't want to send the buses out. That means that I'll be paid for the whole day and haven't done anything. Wing Night is going to be extra great today!

Snowy Workday

2007-03-27T12:12:00.000-04:00

It's lunchtime. The schools are closed at lunch because all the kids go home. From 12 until 1, most people in town go home for lunch. That means that I get to go home for lunch, too.

I worked yesterday and again today at the elementary school across from my house. I'm teaching a nice class of 31 students. They have a lot of energy but are very nice children. It's an Inuktitut immersion class, but we've been doing everything in English.

This afternoon we're supposed to go to the pool, but a blizzard is developing and most people believe that the schools will be closed this afternoon. I know that my students will be very disappointed, but hopefully they can be rescheduled. I don't really care if school is cancelled or not. I get paid for the full day, but an afternoon at the pool might be fun, and would certainly be a good experience. I'm actually kind of hoping that it will happen. Still, the wind is picking up and the visibility is deteriorating every minute.

2007-03-23T10:24:00.000-04:00

It is an absolutely beautiful day. There is bright sunshine and sunglasses are a must. The problem is that it is -29 and there is a 39 km wind blowing from the north and so it feels like -56.

I've been doing a lot of reading these days. Being at my Dad's, waiting for flights, -56 degree weather, and horrific daytime television has meant that I have made time for books.

I got Dan Harrington's "Tournament Hold 'Em: Volume One" for Christmas. It was a perfect gift because Harrington is famous for his conservative style poker and I am not the super-aggressive play garbage and bluff player. I've read Sklansky, and Brunson, but a book by "Action Dan" had to be on my reading list.

I finished the book in January and ordered Volume Two and The Workbook through Amazon.ca. I had it shipped to Iqaluit, and hoped that it would arrive quickly. I waited and waited, but it didn't arrive before my rather sudden departure in mid-February. Naturally, the book arrived a few days after I returned to Toronto.

I wasn't planning on being in Toronto for too long so I told *** to just hold onto it. She did, and we joked that the best way to get me back to Iqaluit was to put the books in the mail. When it looked more and more like we wouldn't see each other until May, we decided that she could ship them.

On the Thursday that I booked my flight, the books had still not arrived. I was leaving on Friday morning, and laughed that I was playing the Snuffalupagus with these poker books. With about 45 minutes to spare before I walked out the door on Friday, the doorbell rang and the books had arrived.

I finished Volume Two in a flash while at my Dad's house. I started The Workbook, and am now about halfway through. I have found the books to be invaluable. The Workbook, especially, is a great tool. It presents 50 hands, and you have to choose the play that you would make if you were in that situation. You play with players like Ivey, Harmon, and Hellmuth and Harrington rates your play based on your choices. What I really like about it is that the decisions that the players make aren't necessarily "the right answers" and not necessarily that which we have learned throughout the first two volumes. At the end, you tally up your score and you can evaluate your play and discover some of the situations that are your strengths and weaknesses.

When I finish that, I'll be back into The Kite Runner, which could possibly be the perfect opposite to my current read.

Iqaluit Bound

2007-03-21T08:40:00.000-04:00

I spent the weekend at my Dad's house. I used my Via Preference points to buy my train ticket. This was my first time redeeming points for a free anything. The train ride was fine and all the sweeter because it was free.

The weekend wasn't very exciting. My father was hoping that we could take care of outdoor jobs, but it was cold and snowy all weekend. It felt like a real waste to me, but I think that my Dad was just happy to have some company. He was fasting on Sunday, so we couldn't do a lot since he had to stick pretty close to home because of the medication he had to take. His appointment on Monday was just routine and nothing to worry about.

I was planning to take the bus to Ottawa on Tuesday morning, but my Dad offered to drive me. I thought that that was a great idea, because it would allow me to take more stuff with me. Flights to the north allow you to check two 70lb bags. It makes no sense to me to take any less than that since everything is 2-3 times the price in the north. If I can save $300, then that reduces the price of my ticket.

Since my Dad had to work at 9:00, we had to leave his house at 5:30 in the morning. I was up at 5:00. I showered, let the dog out, loaded the car and had it warmed up by 5:45. My Dad slept in a little late so we didn't get out of the house until 5:50. The roads we icy so I found the drive a little stressful. The roads were dry by the time we hit the 417 in Ottawa.

My Dad dropped me off and I checked in. There is an understanding among those living in the north that luggage is always filled to the brim with supplies and is very heavy. I thought that there was an understanding that overweight bags are ignored. When I put my 90lb
bag down, the agent choked and told me that my bag was overweight. She would have to charge me a $53 fee. I wasn't angry, but just said, "If you have to charge me then you have to charge me." I put my other bag on the belt and it too was overweight, but only 5 lbs. Still, she charged me another $53. I paid the fee, but realized as I was waiting in the security screening queue that I should have transferred stuff from the one bag into the other so that I could have one underweight, and one way overweight. I kicked myself for wasting that $53.

When I got to the gate, I waited. I had been worrying about whether or not we would be able to land in Iqaluit. As early as Saturday, a blizzard had been forecast for Monday and Tuesday. I was relieved to see that the First Air flight was on time. I waited until my boarding call at 8:30. By 9:05, our plane was still not boarding. People all around me had been on the phone to friends in Iqaluit and were all speculating about the weather and the flight. At 9:30, the flight was cancelled.

Initially, I was excited about being able to save at least my $53, but was totally bummed out about the flight being cancelled. I noticed that the other flight to Iqaluit on Canadian North was not cancelled but was delayed three hours. That made a lot of sense since everything that I'd heard was that the blizzard was supposed to blow through in the afternoon. I decided that instead of waiting for the notoriously slow baggage carousel at the Ottawa airport, I would head to the Canadian North ticket desk.

I expected a huge queue of First Air passengers to be waiting, but I walked right up to the counter and asked if I could switch my now cancelled First Air flight over to the delayed Canadian North flight. They said that that would be fine, but that they were unsure as to whether or not the flight would also be cancelled: "Come back at 10:00."

I went over to the First Air desk and got my $106 back. At the very least, I did get that money back, and regardless of whether or not the plane left, I would have a huge inconvenience, but it was going to cost me significantly less than 106 bucks, or even the $53 that I would pay for one overweight bag. The funniest thing about it is that the food and drinks inside were still going to be a steal even with the $106 fee.

I hung around and made a few trips to the carousel, but still no baggage. At 10:00, the the CN agents said, "We're not sure. Come back at 10:30." I made a few more trips to check for my luggage.

At 10:30, the decision was again pushed back, this time to 12:00. I was encouraged as no news was probably good news. Eventually, my luggage did arrive and I loaded it onto a cart. I realized that I was hungry and got a BLT and some oatmeal-raisin cookies and a bottle of water from Tim Hortons.

I made sure to wash my hands as the cart handle was likely full of bacteria. The cart rolled nicely into the washroom which shouldn't have surprised me but did. They had this nice foaming soap.

I rolled my cart back to the seats near the Canadian North ticket desk and ate my sandwich. It wasn't bad, but the tomatoes were flavourless. I hate tomatoes in the winter.

I unpacked my smaller bag and loaded what I thought was about 12 pounds into my larger bag. I sat down proudly. I read my book for a while and revelled in the extra 53 bucks in my pocket.

The ticket agents were on the phone almost constantly, and a few people approached the desk. I became increasingly nervous that even if the plane did take-off that I wouldn't get a seat. At about 11:35, the flight was confirmed and was scheduled to leave at 1:15. I booked my ticket, but was, indeed, put on the standby list. There were 55 seats, and 51 confirmed passengers. I was just going to have to wait.

I loaded my now 100+ pound bag onto the belt. The agent put a tag onto the handle and slapped a "Standby" sticker onto it. Off it went down to the conveyor belt into the mystical underworkings of the airport. I put my second bag on, but because it was a box and not luggage (it contained a microwave filled with 4 bottles of cranberry juice which incidentally costs $11.99 a bottle here) I had to take it to special baggage security.

My mother was intensely honest, and, sometimes sadly, she gave that to me. I said to the agent, "These bags are heavy." He replied, "Don't say that loudly. Do you want me to charge you?" I said no, satisfied that he understood the situation and that I wasn't trying to rip them off. I hate it when people think that I'm dishonest. Sure, I was being dishonest by not paying for the overweight bag, but it wasn't like I was trying to get away with anything.

My microwave and box cleared security and I headed back down to security and, as before, I was asked to open my bag. They looked a second time at my camera, but this time confiscated my half a bottle of water. I had forgotten all about it, and felt like a fool for passing dozens of "No liquids" signs and not remembering that I had bought water with my breakfast/lunch. The lady was nice about it.

I went to my gate and read. I was more an more nervous as 12:45 approached and they hadn't asked for standby passengers to come to the desk. I probably should have gone up and said something, but decided that I didn't want to be a pain in their side. They'd had a rough day, too, and I figured that they weren't going to be too happy about being there four hours late. I decided that pestering them wasn't the best way to get a seat.

They preboarded, and then boarded the first rows. I stood up nervously to see what was happening at the desk. The woman who had seen me hanging around her desk all morning called my name and told me that my boarding pass was at the desk. I made a quick call to Iqaluit and then I was on the plane.

I was so relieved to actually be on the plane. I knew that it wasn't up in the air since we hadn't landed. The plan was to attempt a landing and then if it couldn't be done, we'd fly to Kujjuaaq, refuel, and then fly back to Ottawa. I figured that the chances of landing were better than sitting around doing nothing, and that even if I ended up back in Ottawa, at least I'd had some time to read a book, have some food, and some complimentary beverages. Hey, it would be an adventure!

They served us a choice between a hot or a cold breakfast which I thought was pretty funny. I decided that I wanted a drink so I had a beer for dessert. I felt a little bad about it, but I had found the whole thing very stressful.

The flight was relatively noneventful. The premier, Paul Okalik, sat in front of me and across the aisle. He seemed very nice and read a newspaper for most of the flight.

We landed without incident. It was -22 with a 40 km wind from the north. The walk across the tarmac was a real shock to the system. I ran with shorts the previous weekend!

Tonight is Wing Night, so we're going to the bar for drinks. It will be nice to see everyone again.

Last Minute

2007-03-16T11:18:00.000-04:00

It has been a busy week. The house is on the market and I've been doing all the last minute things to get ready for the showings. Some of those jobs have been:

-chipping the snow and ice around the house.
-cleaning the back deck.
-raking the front yard.
-picking up a winter's worth of outside garbage that melted snow has revealed.
-cleaning eavestroughs.
-cutting up fallen branches.
-painting the basement bathroom.
-painting the main bathroom.
-cleaning the house.
-mopping all the floors.
-painting door jambs.

I think that despite the problems, the house looks pretty good. I hope that the work that I've done will make a difference and that it will sell quickly.

Yesterday was particularly nuts because I woke up late and decided that the best way to start my day was to play a game of Railway Tycoon. It was a dumb move considering how much stuff I had to do, but I did it anyway. I actually considered starting today off the same way, but decided that blogging was a much better use of my time.

I had noticed that fares to Iqaluit had been dropped for two days and I forwarded the email on to my girlfriend. At about 12:30 yesterday, she asked, "What are you doing now that the house is ready?" I thought about it and decided that there was no reason for me not to take advantage of the half-price fare and go back to the Arctic.

I am going to my father's house this weekend. He needed someone to drive him home from the hospital after a colonoscopy. I told him that I would. I realized that being there would save me having to take a flight from Toronto to Ottawa and so I've decided to head north on Tuesday morning. I won't be back until the 30th.

I booked a train using my Via Preference points and will be heading out of Toronto at 5:30. I won't be blogging for the weekend, but will try to blog while I'm in Iqaluit. After being sick and tired of being bored and tired, I'm excited about being back in the Arctic and know that it's going to be a rough weekend of waiting.

Monday Comedy

2007-03-13T10:26:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but I went to a comedy show last night. Some of the acts were quite good and some were quite bad.

The memorable lines were few and far between, actually, but one was: "I work at the Hockey Hall of Fame and there you see a lot of people buying jersey's for the people they hate."

I much preferred the first half of the show because we were standing at the back. During intermission, some people left and we moved to a table at the very front. I kept feeling obliged to laugh even when it wasn't funny just because I felt guilty and because I didn't want them to start making fun of me. I felt quite vulnerable up at the front without the protection of a table in front of me, and the second half, for me, had an undercurrent of imminent attack.

What concerned me the most was that one of the comdians had the same first name as me and wore exactly the same shoes as I do. It also concerns me that I noticed such a thing.

Running Around Going Nowhere

2007-03-11T15:35:00.000-04:00

This morning, I had to buy some plaster. I decided to go over to the Home Hardware on Bloor. I headed out the door and got to the corner before I remembered that I had to return a hard drive. I accidentally bought a SATA drive instead of an IDE drive. Anyway, I decided to return it to one of the sketchy computer shops on College Street and that I could go over to the Home Hardware down there instead. I went back inside, grabbed the drive and headed out.

During my walk, I made plans to run with a friend. When I got to the Home Hardware I discovered that it was closed. It's closed on Sundays. I cursed organized religion and chuckled in disgust that my attempt to save time was now going to cost me not only more time but also more effort. I would have to now go to the Home Hardware on Bloor which is the place that I should have gone in the first place.

I tried to make the best of it and went to the computer store. I managed to return my hard drive but because I bought it more than 7 days ago I could only get store credit. Apart from the fact that I now had to spend money, I wasn't that upset because I could buy some RAM. I wasn't sure exactly what kind of memory I have so I decided that the prudent move would be to go back home, check the memory that I have, and then return to get the right kind. I headed home a little miffed knowing that I would only have to return.

I had to meet my friend for our run. When I got home, I checked the memory and wrote it down on a piece of scrap paper. I put it into the pocket of my running jacket along with my credit card, credit note, tuque, and house key.

I went for a long run (12.5 km), and when I ended up on College, I decided to head back to the computer shop. I managed to pass another Home Hardware, but it, too, was closed. No matter; I knew that the place on Bloor would be open.

I ran to Spadina and bought my RAM. I headed north to Bloor and over to get my plaster. I got to the door, pulled, and nothing. They are closed on Sundays. I gave up on my plan to plaster today. It's just as well since I hate it so much.

I ran back home. I installed my RAM and had a lot of trouble putting it in. You really have to push very hard in order to get it into the slot properly. I've always believed that you shouldn't force things like that, but you really have to in order for it to click in. It worked and I do notice a difference in performance.

I remembered that I had put in a load of laundry in the dryer last night, and I headed down to the basement. What do I see in the corner? A large tub of pre-mixed plaster. After all the running around trying every Home Hardware in the neighbourhood, I had what I needed all along. I'm not sure if that makes me lucky, or just stupid.

2007-03-09T10:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the end of a huge job. I painted for four hours on Wednesday morning and then headed to Discount Truck Rental to pick up a 16 foot moving van. When I returned home, I immediately began filling it with all the junk in the basement and throughout the house. Though many would argue that plenty junk remains in this house, I was satisfied when the basement was empty and the van was full.

I drove to my father's house and then went straight to bed. The next morning was very cold and I had a hard time getting started since it was 7:30 in the morning and I had a 16 foot cube van full of garbage and furniture most of which was surprisingly heavy. Through my own stubborn determination, I emptied the truck and put everything away.

I headed to my Dad's office for an appointment and was then on my way back along the 401. At one point I was behind a beer truck. There was a glass of beer painted on the back and I marvelled at the ridiculous name written above: "The Beer Store."

Why and how did the Ontario government decide to name the place that sells beer "The Beer Store"? I suppose that it is the simplest name, and the name that avoids confusion, but it struck me as quite odd that of all the names and all the creative people in the world that this is the best that they could come up with.

When I was a kid, it was called Brewers Retail, but along the way of me reaching the age of majority the name was changed to The Beer Store. I think that "Brewers Retail" is a much classier name than "The Beer Store" despite what some people say about the power of branding.

As I was driving along I started thinking about why they might have changed the name. Was is because people were too stupid to know that beer is brewed and that the people who brew beer are brewers? Was it because most people called it the beer store (i.e. "I'm heading down to the beer store. Do you need anything?") and in an effort to dumb the world down they decided to change to their everyman name?

I wondered if it had anything to do with the apostrophe. www.thebeerstore.com refers to their name historically as Brewers Retail. It seems to me that that is spelled incorrectly. My knowledge of the possessive tells me that for a singular noun the apostrophe comes after the word and an "s" is added (brewer's). Similarly, in a plural noun, the apostrophe also comes at the end of the word with an "s" added and though not incorrect to include the second "s", it is more appropriately removed (brewers').

According to the history, the brewers of Ontario created the Brewers Warehousing Company Limited. It would seem to me that this was a collection of brewers, hence making it plural because there was more than one brewer. Should not the name Brewers Warehousing Company Limited have an apostrophe becuase the warehousing company belongs to them? Should it not, therefore, be spelled "Brewers' Warehousing Company Limited"?

Because Brewers Retail is the name of a company that distributes the beer of various brewers in Ontario, shouldn't the name be spelled, "Brewers' Retail"?

I thought about the name Tim Horton and thought about how I would spell the doughnut franchise. Tim Horton was a player on the Toronto Maple Leafs (aka: "The Leaves") and he opened up a doughnut shop in Hamilton in 1964. Because it was his, it should have been called, "Tim Horton's Doughnuts." The spelling of the franchise should be Tim Horton's. Nevertheless, their website only refers to itself as Tim Hortons.

I've uncovered a few interesting sites addressing this problem. Wikipedia has a note that states, "Note that the name "Tim Hortons" has been officially written without an apostrophe since at least the mid-1990s. However, some older locations retain signage with the spelling "Tim Horton's"." A BBC article has a note: "Tim's started out its existence as Tim Horton's. The apostrophe was lost to the language legislation in the Province of Quebec: unless a business name is simply a personal name, in Quebec the signage has to be translated into French: Tim Horton's Donuts would have to become Les donuts de Tim Horton. Rather than producing entirely new signage for the Quebec market, Tim Horton's became Tim Hortons from coast to coast to coast."

Consider the following sentences:

a) Tim Horton's hot breakfast sandwich is delicious.
b) Tim Hortons' hot breakfast sandwich is delicious.
c) Tim Hortons hot breakfast sandwich is delicious.

Which is correct and why? It's no wonder that people have difficulty learning and using English.

There is a petition here to have an apostrophe added.

Note: As I was driving along the highway and considering the use of the apostrophe, I laughed at the irony of me creating a blog post on the correct use of a grammatical device since my blog is so riddled with grammatical errors. This post no doubt includes ending a sentence with a preposition, the improper use of quotation marks, incorrect comma placement, and capitalization errors, just to name a few.

Burned Bridge

2007-03-07T09:37:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm supposed to be on the train right now heading towards an interview. Instead, I'm blogging. The simple reason is distance.

Mapquest directions said 43 minutes which we all know in Toronto is much more than that because of traffic; especially rushhour traffic. The plan was this:

1) Walk or take the streetcar to the Bloor line. Transfer at St-George or Yonge and head to Union Station (estimated travel time: 20 minutes).

2) Catch the GO Train west towards Guelph and get off at Bramalea GO Station (travel time: 34 minutes).

3) Catch the GO Bus to Mount Pleasant GO Station. (wait time: 6 minutes, travel time: 35 minutes).

4) Catch the Brampton Transit bus (wait time: mad dash, travel time: 16 minutes).

So the commute, if I made every connection, would be 111 minutes. That's just to get there. A commute is never one way, so I would be spending roughly 4 hours of my day on buses and trains. That doesn't make sense.

There is also the reason why I want the job: quite simply, it would be a notch on my resume. That's not a reason to take a job and be miserable as a result. If I want to pad my resume, I might as well go back to Iqaluit and supply teach. At least then I would be happy. Supply teaching in the Arctic is much more impressive on a resume than a job in Brampton. There's nothing on a resume that can express that you sacrificed more than 20 hours a week getting to and from work anyway.

2007-03-06T21:03:00.000-05:00

I shaved off my beard this afternoon. A case of boredom, I suppose. You know when Homer shaves on the Simpsons and his face is clear and then a few seconds later his beard fills in. I look a lot like that and it's hard to get used to.

I have an interview in Brampton tomorrow morning and will have to brave public transport to get there. I'm estimating at least a two-hour journey which makes accepting the job an impossibility since not even I would consider a four-hour per day commute. Carpooling might be an option. There is the chance that I could get my car back, but that's still a long way to go every morning. I'll have to suss it out and see what happens.

I'm also renting a 16' cube van tomorrow so that I can clean all the garbage and unused furniture out of here. It will be a busy day, but hopefully a good one.

2007-03-04T23:09:00.000-05:00

It has been quite a while since my last post and there really isn't any explanation for it. I just didn't feel like it.

It was my birthday on Friday. People came over on Saturday. I was hungover today.

There isn't much else to say, but I will try to post more frequently.

Homeward Bound

2007-02-16T06:44:00.000-05:00

It's been a very stressful week. There has been disaster after disasterat the house in Toronto starting with the heat going out and now the plumbing in the basement is acting up. The whole thing is driving me crazy and I'm heading home on Sunday in order to fix all that stuff.

I'm heading out for a snowmobile day tomorrow. We rented a machine and are going out on the land for the day with friends. It will be a lot of fun and it will be so nice to see more than just the town of Iqaluit.

Other than that, I'm going to spend as much time enjoying my time here. I don't really want to leave, but that's the way that things go sometimes.

Weekend Update

2007-02-11T10:31:00.000-05:00

I was working on Friday. I was at the elementary school across the street teaching Inuktitut until recess and then the rest of the day I shadowed a student. I learned my colours in Inuktitut as well as the days of the week.

This was Language Week across Nunavut which is especially troubling since I was the Inuktitut teacher for three out of the five school days. Anyway, there was a special assembly at the school on Friday morning with throat singing, drumming, and presentations. A television reporter was there and I made it onto Igalaaq. There was a shot of all the children sitting in the gym and I'm standing in the background. You might even be able to see it here (will likely be cleared on February 12th at 6:00pm-ish).

My lunchhour was a disaster. I got home and checked my email to discover that the heat in my house in Toronto wasn't working. I sent a few emails and tried to do whatever I could to get it organized, but I didn't have a lot of luck. I felt quite ineffectual since I was so far away. I pictured the tenants huddled up in their beds trying to keep warm as icicles formed on the curtain rods. I sent my roommate some numbers and emailed my sister, but I couldn't do much more. I headed back to work for the afternoon and worried about the heat.

After school, my email told me that my sister was on the heating situation and it seemed that everyone was taking care of things for me. I felt bad about it, but apart for getting on a plane and flying home, there wasn't much that I could do. With that taken care of (to some extent), we moved. My girlfriend and her roommate were being kicked out of their apartment so that a pregnant couple could move into their two-bedroom. *** and I moved downstairs which was one of the easiest moves ever because we just walked things down the three flights and then unloaded boxes right into their new homes. We started and finished in about 95 minutes. I had three beers during the move which made it much more enjoyable, too.

Friday is usually a boring night for us even though it's Legion night. Because *** wakes up at 4am, she isn't able to tie one on on Friday because the tiredness catches up to her. We skipped going out, watched some television, and went to bed by 9:00.

Saturday was a beautiful day, but we decided to stay indoors for most of it. We went to the Northmart and spent $326 on groceries. When we got back, I checked my email and found out that the heat was back on and that a $276 service call had solved everything. That was a huge load off my mind.

We are housesitting for someone and since she has cable, we went over there for the afternoon to enjoy all the wonders of Saturday afternoon television. Strangely, we ended up watching the Junior Curling on CBC so we didn't need cable anyway. We fell asleep on the couch and missed our broomball game.

At about 5:30, we headed back to our apartment building to help with the last little bit of our roommate's move. We carried a few boxes downstairs and then drove them over to his new place. When we were all finished, we put our feet up for a few minutes and enjoyed a beer. We tried to get the hockey game, but the antenna wasn't working very well. I decided to plug the tv into the cable jack to see if it would help the reception, but instead of a clear antenna reception, we discovered that his new apartment has free cable. I began to wonder if ***'s apartment has free cable too. I will have to investigate on Monday. It's moot right now since we don't even have a television.

After the cable discovery, the three of us headed over to the Elks' Lodge. There was a fundraiser for Nunavut Sport and they were holding a Chili Bash. We met a few more friends and had a few drinks and all the chili would could eat. It was a nice evening, but *** and I were pretty tired and headed home at 10:30.

I baked oatmeal-cranberry cookies this morning. We're going out for a walk as soon as I finish typing this entry. I expect when we get back we will head over for another afternoon of television. I'm looking forward to watching the WPT of Citytv at 4:00. We might have some friends over for dinner if we feel up to it.

Wing Night

2007-02-08T07:03:00.000-05:00

I was planning to spend some time blogging yesterday, but I was working instead. I got the last minute call and was asked to teach Inuktitut for the morning. I laughed since there are only a handful of words that I speak in Inuktitut, but they just needed someone to be in the class. I decided to help them out and I used the opportunity to have the students teach me some Inuktitut instead. I learned my numbers from 1-10, but still need to look at my paper in order to remember the exact pronounciation.

Last night was Wing Night. We headed downtown to the bar at 5:00. If you don't get there before five, then you don't get a seat. I don't really like wings so I splurged and got a hamburger with onion rings.

I've never understood the chicken wing fascination. It's so much work for so little return. Wings seem to me to be the meat equivalent to celery; your body works harder eating it than the caloric benefit that the food provides. There is also something inherently disgusting about licking your fingers coupled with the smacking sound, the whole thing is just too messy and gross.

Storm Cleanup

2007-02-06T07:19:00.000-05:00

We survived the winds. They gusted up to 135 km/hour and broke records for the month of February. It's still whistling out there this morning, but nothing like it was on Sunday. It's quite nice out there at only -6 (-16 with the 44 km wind).

There was a lot of damage as siding and rooves blew off. Part of the high school blew off as did a large chunk of the eight-storey building. Some cars were completely covered in snow and a taxi that was hidden in a drift got smoked by a smow plow. It was one of the worst storms that the residents here have seen in many years.

So I'm glad that I was here for it. Most people on Sunday couldn't sleep because of the wind, but I slept soundly and uninterrupted for the whole night. As everyone else was weary and tired, I was bright eyed and bushy-tailed. The only problem was that schools on Monday were closed so I had a lazy day at home.

It was a tragically boring day. The power, which had been on for the whole night, went out at 7:45 and remained out until 1:30. I didn't have anything to do. I read my book and dozed for the morning. It wasn't a lot of fun, but at least it didn't get cold in the apartment. I did manage to take a shower, and use the battery on the laptop, but neither was enough to keep me adequately entertained.

I did get a phone call about a possible shortlisting for a teaching job, but I'm not going to think about it until I hear something definite. I'm predicting that after having no options, I will suddenly go to having to make a very difficult decision for this September.

Blizzard

2007-02-04T20:14:00.000-05:00

Right now we're in the middle of a blizzard. Winds, according to Environment Canada are gusting to 120 km/hour. It is a near whiteout outside as the snow is blowing. The room is creaking and the winds are rumbling outside. The building is actually shaking from the wind.

It's actually quite intense. It's a little scary even. I had to let a neighbour's dog out and he was blown off his feet. Poor little guy. The snow stung against my face and I was so happy that I have a nice apartment to retreat into. This is the kind of storm that I always imagined in the north and the kind of storm that kills people. Even though it's warm out, a balmy -10 (wind makes it much colder, though), it's another reminder to me about how incredible it is that the Inuit have lived in this part of the world for hundreds and hundreds of years.

The power has flickered on and off throughout the evening. I am shocked, actually, that the Internet is working, so I'm going to publish this before the satellite dish gets blown over.

Daily Routine

2007-02-01T07:27:00.000-05:00

My sleep cycle has really changed since I arrived in Iqaluit. The days of staying up until 2 or 3 a.m. are gone.

My partner starts work at 5:00 in the morning, and her alarm goes off at 4:00. I stay in bed while she showers, dresses, eats, and gets ready for work. She comes in and gives me a kiss before she heads out at 4:45.

I reset the alarm and then do my best to sleep. I usually get up at about 6:30 or so and then restlessly flop around until the alarm goes off at 7:00.

I'm up and showering during the 7:00 news. I get dressed into my working clothes and then usually read until 9:00. Last week, I finished Dan Harrington's book on poker strategy, Harrington On Hold 'Em: Volume 1, and am currently reading George Orwell's Road to Wigan Pier.

I've been supply teaching and I have to be ready to go in the morning if a phone call comes. Sometimes the call comes and sometimes it doesn't. I tick off school stating times throughout the morning: high school 8:05, middle school 8:25, elementary school #1 8:40, elementary school #2 8:55. Usually, if I haven't heard anything by 7:30, then I have the day off. Regardless, I am up early and face the whole day.

Since *** starts work so early in the morning, she finishes her day at 1:30. She is often home by 2:00 and we have the afternoon together. We usually have dinner at about 5:30 and are in bed at 7:30. It's lame, sure. I could stay up later, but I don't really see the point. I can sleep anytime, anywhere, and so I'm usually asleep by 8:30. On weekends or if there is something happening during the week, we'll stay up later.

Television here is completely messed. We don't have cable and only have CBC and APTN. Our clocks are set to the eastern time zone, but because the CBC transmitter is in Yellowknife, our CBC is on Mountain time and is therefore two hours later. The Simpsons that has aired at 5:00 for about 10 years comes on at 7pm. I don't mind that, but all the other evening programming is late. The National airs at midnight, and everything else, no matter how much we may want to watch it, is on too late for our schedule.

Instead, we've been watching Six Feet Under. I brought all five seasons with me and we managed to finish it up on Monday. I was very pleased with the finale, and thought that the ending was very well done. I wish that Alan Ball has written more episodes because, as the creator of the show, his episodes were the strongest. Now we're watching the US version of The Office, which I enjoy immensely. *** hasn't been hooked by the show yet and tends to doze off. When I catch her sleeping I close the laptop and go to bed.

The Three-Year Anniversary Explosion

2007-01-30T14:11:00.000-05:00

The computer that I've been using over the past month turned three years old on the second week of January. On this special occasion, its warranty also expired. You can guess what comes next.

I was minding my own business yesterday evening. I was casually surfing when a bubble popped up on the taskbar which read, "A network cable has been unplugged."

I hadn't done anything unusual, but suddenly the computer lost its conenction to the internet. I fiddled around for a few minutes, but couldn't see any real reason why this had happened. I was going to keep messing around with it when it was suggested that we call Dell. A very wise decision, since I shouldn't be messing around with other people's computers with my very limited knowledge.

Surprisingly, we weren't on hold very long, and an agent was taking us through a few solutions. Nothing helped and we were told that we needed a new motherboard. The next sentence was, "Your warranty expired three weeks ago."

The agent was nice about it, and put us on hold while he went to check if there was anything that could be done. He returned and agreed to repair the motherboard free of charge.

It doesn't take a genius to deduce that Dell has been having some difficulties with their ethernet adapters creating motherboard problems. I find it hard to believe that a telephone tech support agent can conclude that the motherboard needs to be replaced as quickly as ours did. I find it especially hard to believe that Dell would replace the motherboard for free considering that the warranty is expired.

So now we have to go through the ordeal of sending this laptop from Iqaluit to wherever Dell repairs its motherboards. Not a big deal from any major city in the country, but quite a big deal from the Arctic where mail service is frequently suspect. Mail is delivered, but it does take time. It will be very interesting to see how long it will take to sort this whole thing out.

Our disposable society strikes again. It's as though technology is secretly implanted with a timer that is set to three years and when time runs out, "Pop," technology breaks down and we magically have to buy the latest model at the highest prices.

The whole thing makes me very sad. Sad that companies don't seem to care to make quality products, sad that children make the crummy products we have now, sad that there aren't better options for consumers, sad that the cycle of consumption continues, sad that landfills are full of the plastic skeletons of expensive poorly-made technology, but most especially sad that we as consumers as powerless to do much (if anything) about it.

I'm Sorry H.S.

2007-01-28T13:05:00.000-05:00

I was listening to The Vinyl Cafe this morning and there was a story written about a note that was found which simply read, "I'm sorry H.S." It wasn't terrific, but got me thinking about dear, dear Homer.

I was in the movies a few weeks ago, and saw Blood Diamond. I thought the movie was all right, but was mostly devastated by the sign that I saw for the upcoming Simpson's movie.

I'm worried about The Simpsons. I can put aside the fact that recent episodes have been weak. To be honest, I haven't watched with any regularity since around the ninth season. I remember the episode with Homer's pet lobster being one of the final nails in the coffin of my regular Simpsons watching routine.

If I was afraid that all that was once good about The Simpsons will be tarnished by the series dragging on after it should have ended, I'm horrified now that the movie will utterly destroy it.

I take solace by looking at the Beavis and Butthead and the South Park movies. They managed to make a nice transition from series to feature film. It seemed that they both managed to make thier movies when they were at the top of their games. I don't think that this is the case with The Simpsons.

I've been watching the sixth season on DVD and listening to the audio commentaries. There isn't much point in watching the episodes since I know them all inside and out. It was interesting to hear about them talk about the animation. They made a switch from cel animation to digital ink and paint during season 12. It was around this point that I really tuned out. I'm not sure if it was because the animation changed, or simply because episodes like New Kids on the Blecch (featuring 'Nsync) and I'm Going to Praiseland (featuring Shawn Colvin) were so wretched that I couldn't bear looking forward all week to watching and being so thoroughly disappointed.

The movie's trailers don't look promising. The animation is clearly digital and I'm afraid that the film will simply be a continuation of the show's current fare without any of the comdey gold that made the Simpsons what it is. Leaf through any DVD set from 4-9 and you'll find episodes that have become a part of a generation's lexicon, but try nursing a gaffaw out of recent efforts.

Perhaps I'm being too harsh, but I really question the movie version of television shows. Some shows have been successful, of course, and I want The Simpsons movie to be everything that it can be. Unless the writers make an effort to remain true to the glory days of the show, I fear that the impact of the show will be irrevocably stained as a troubled franchise tries to cash in on its last shreds of credibility. Rolling Stones and Queen... I'm looking in your direction.

Still Kickin'

2007-01-27T19:56:00.000-05:00

I have had several pleas for my return to the blogosphere. I'm not sure if they really care one way or the other or if they simply like to laugh at all the stupid stuff that I do and have qualms about telling the world.

Today is the anniversary of my mother's death and I watched 5 episodes of Six Feet Under. I was sad, but I talked to my Dad and my sister and spent most of the day relaxing and thinking about things. My life has changed so much in the last year. I'm sad about my Mom, but I am happy.

It was a beautiful day here today. It was -12 with no wind. We went out to the grocery store and were pleased to discover that they had a special promotion. Each customer received a brown paper bag. All the groceries that you could put in the bag were 15% off. We saved $18.85 which was a nice surprise. It was nice to be outside walking and enjoying the nice weather. One of these weekends we're going to get out on the land and do some skidooing. It would have been amazing today, but our friend with w sled was working on a play that opens tonight so we couldn't do it today. Maybe next weekend.

We had two blizzard days this week. A blizzard here is quite different from blizzards in the south. It's so cold here that fresh snow doesn't stick and so if the winds are high the snow just blows around. On Tuesday, the winds were gusting up to 90 km/hour and so the visibility was about 5 metres. It's very dangerous to go outside because you can get lost so easily and if you get into trouble you could easily freeze to death, so people just stay indoors and wait the blizzards out. I have been told repeatedly that Iqaluit is not known for its blizzards, and that places like Igloolik, and Arviat have blizzards that have 1 metre of visibility and last for 6 days.

So things are about the same with me. I will try to make time to blog, but I've been a little gunshy lately.

Fr-Fr-Fr-Fr-Friday!

2007-01-12T17:38:00.000-05:00

Hot dog!

I've had a busy week this week and, again, now fully understand the thrill of Friday afternoon. I'm waiting a couple of minutes for a voicer to be recorded and then we're heading over to the Store House for an evening of celbratory drinks. From the way things went here today, I expect that some people will be having a lot of drowning drinks instead.

Only one more day until Hockey Day! I'm having a lazy morning tomorrow and then am going to zip over to the airport to look at the Airbus A380. It arrived this week for cold weather testing. It's -36 right now and in the high 40s with the wind. I guess it makes sense for them to be here. I'll catch the hockey games throughout the day, but will likely avoid the feel-good fluff pieces throughout.

Broomball is tomorrow afternoon. We missed Tuesday's edition and so I'm anxious to try again. My legs have finally recovered from all the sprinting.

We're going to have dinner over at Iqaluit's version of Martha Stewart's house so it should be a great evening. Tomorrow's bingo night too so that'll be fun.

Sunday is a question mark right now. I expect that there will be at least one shared meal and maybe some laundry.

I'm off to the bar!

M.I.A.

2007-01-10T17:12:00.000-05:00

Sorry about being off the radar for the last little while. You would think that in a place with very little to do that you would have a lot of time for diversions, but that just one of the things that's unusual about Iqaluit.

I've been working all week. I was supply teaching on Monday at the high school and worked at one of the elementary schools yesterday and today (and will be there for the rest of the week). I won't bore you with the details of my subbing days, but it's nice to be back in the classroom again, and it's nice to be working in a system that values it's employees and treats them with the respect of a returned phonecall or a face-to-face conversation.

We don't have a lot of spare time here, because people make their own fun. This past weekend was terrifically busy. On Friday, we went to a lecture by an old Hudson's Bay manager. Gordon Rennie grew up in Newfoundland but moved west, and later, north in 1947. He had incredible insight into the history and life of Nunavut. Saturday was broomball at 4:30, and then we went for dinner at a friend's house. On Sunday we went for brunch at another friend's house, spent the afternoon doing laundry and then later on in the evening we had people over for dinner. There are a lot of shared meals here and most free time is spent together.

I've been busy and now that I've been working everyday, I've been tired in the evenings. I haven't made time to blog and I apologize for that. Hopefully, I'll have a chance this weekend (maybe during Hockey Day) to write a few more interesting things.

Toe Tuesday

2007-01-03T12:10:00.000-05:00

We watched the horrendous special Tuesday night Hockey Night In Canada presentation last night. I found the Steve Yzerman ceremony to be some of the most boring television I have seen in quite a while. The first period of the game some 90+ minutes later wasn't much better.

During the evening, I was walking into the kitchen and stubbed my toe on the edge of the couch. It hurt like crazy and I felt like I was going to pass out, but I managed to keep it together. My little piggy that went wee wee wee all the way home was sore all night and made it difficult to sleep. I tossed and turned for much of the night because of it (also because it was so warm-- an uncomfortable -18).

I woke up this morning with a strange looking bruise on the top of the toe. It was very swollen and hurts to the touch. It is difficult to gauge whether or not I can move it since the little toe isn't very mobile when it is 100% healthy. I've never had a stubbed toe that has hurt so much for so long. It made a terrific cracking sounds when I hit it and the other people in the room winced when they heard it happen. I'm not sure if it is broken, but it might be. I can still walk, but I'm no doctor.

I'm going to have it looked at this afternoon. It should be very interesting to experience Nunavut's health care system. With luck, they'll laugh and say, "Just give your toe a couple of days for the swelling to come down and it'll be back to normal, you big baby!"

Happy New Year!

2006-12-31T18:14:00.000-05:00

It's 6:16pm I'm having a 50 and getting ready to head to the Legion for New Year's celebrations. It should be a very unique experience. I'm in northern Canada, it's been dark for the last 4 hours and I'm having a steak dinner at the Royal Canadian Legion followed by dancing and ringing in 2007.

The weather was beautiful today and so we walked around town and went to the grocery store. The grocery store was insane and reminded me a lot of a trip to the UK when you realize that everything is insanely expensive and that it's best to just not think about. We bought a ton of food, but decided to walk home. Iqaluit has a lot of hills and before we got too far our arms were sore. We debated taking a cab, but realized that it would be $10 and no exercise. We stopped at the Arctic Ventures and picked up a sled. We (read: I) thought that it would be better to save the ten dollars on a cab when I could spend it on something more tangible. There isn't a lot of opportunity for exercise here. Running is out of the question and I wasn't able to bring my cross-country skis. When you can only go outside for short periods at a time, it's easy to miss out on exercise.

That said, I'm off to the legion and ready to ring in 2007. Enjoy!

Northern Dispatches

2006-12-28T11:15:00.000-05:00

I've left the balminess of Toronto and am in Iqaluit, Nunavut.

I spent Christmas at my sister's house which was very nice except for opening presents which drove me absolutely crazy.

On Christmas morning, we started opening presents at 10:00. There were 7 of us including my 16 month-old niece. There were quite a few gifts, but nothing extravagant. My family is very different from my brother-in-law's family when it comes to Christmas traditions.

Santa had filled our stockings and so we began by opening them. Mostly toiletries and chocolates.

A Christmas present should be torn open. I don't like it when people are careful to peel the tape off in order to prevent the paper from peeling, and they unwrap the present in an effort to save the paper. It's hard enough saving the unused tubes of paper for twelve months; I don't understand how people expect to reuse the paper that they've salvaged from gifts. Christmas is incredibly wasteful, and, environmentally, it probably is the right thing to do, but come on.

For each present, paper, bows, and ribbons were saved and piled neatly. Each present came with a store-bought card that was read aloud. Honestly, all those corny cards sound the same: May the light of the season touch your heart and bring you peace for the upcoming year. Blah, bla, blah, blah. The personal notes are much better. Cards would invariably include photos that would also be read and passed around to everyone, and we were all supposed to ooh and aah and bask in the joy of both giving and receiving. Presents were opened and examined closely. Instruction manuals were even partially read aloud. Thank you declarations flowed. Fine. Great, even! This was nice for the first trip around the room, but it continued like this for 4 hours!

My family always opened our presents rather quickly, but never simultaneously. We would wait while other people opened their gifts, but we didn't lounge around and drag the gift exchange on until 2:00 in the afternoon! We would always take our time, but my job was always to make sure that everyone had a present in hand and a present on-deck. When one person was finished opening a gift and we had all seen their face light up, we were on to the next present. The wrapping paper would be torn and the we'd be cookin'.

Eventually, I just gave up trying to speed things along. I was so profoundly bored that I tried to think about how I could feasibly get out of this torture. I could never have imagined opening presents being boring, but this was. Don't get me wrong, I loved all the presents I received and I loved seeing the joy in the faces of those to whom I gave presents, but dragging the opening on and on sucked most of the joy from the experience. It probably didn't help that I made numerous hints about being thirsty that were completely ignored. Apparently, I had to sit for 4 hours reading cards and saving wrapping paper for next year without booze.

Christmas dinner was very nice, and turkey is an amazing food. Butterball pales in comparison to the fresh, unfrozen turkey that I have grown accustomed to throughout the years at my father's house. Certainly the Butterball stuffing is a disgusting sodium concoction that probably, technically, shouldn't be called food. Nevertheless, the meal was fine, and was a nice change from my usual dinners of veggie dogs wrapped in a tortilla, or chocolate chip pancakes.

On Boxing Day my father and I drove to his farm. We didn't arrive until about 5:00 and I immediately started cleaning the garage. My Dad wanted me to move my car into the garage, but it required a lot of cleaning in order to free up adequate space. I found places for and moved all the junk, and discovered that my car's battery was dead. I hooked up the charger and waited. Eventually, I managed to get the car started and my Dad and I managed to squeeze the car into the garage.

My father has a large garage that is able to fit two cars lengthwise. It's a tight fit, but it can be done, and when it comes to storage, it's very convenient. With 10 centimetres between the front of my father's car and the garage wall and 10 centimetres between the rear bumper of my father's car and the front bumper of my car, I closed the garage door. It creaked down slowly as I watched in panic as it approached my back bumper. The door just slipped past my bumper. I let out a breath of relief but quickly gasped as a metal hinge protuberance neared my bumper. It hit the top of my back bumper about half a centimetre in and proceeded to scrape down the outside of the bumper for another 20 centimetres or so. I could hear the plastic being gouged out. With at least 20 centimetres of wasted space that would have made all the difference, I cursed the fact that now I would need to repair my back bumper or live with it being scratched.

I left Ottawa for Iqaluit on the morning of the 27th. There was a visibility warning and there was some concern about whether or not we would be able to land in Iqaluit. If we had been unable to land, we would have continued on to Rankin Inlet where we would have to wait for another flight to reattempt an Iqaluit landing and, if unsuccessful, we would head back to Ottawa. The promise of spending 12 hours travelling only to return to my departure point made me quite anxious. It's not like I had anything better to do, but no one likes wasting a whole day. I had also been looking forward to arriving for such a long time that I would have been devastated if I had to wait another day.

The captain came on the PA system at 12:15 and said that the storm had passed and that we would be landing. It was -30C when we touched down, but the wind made it feel like -56C. My 153 pounds of luggage arrived quickly and in great shape and I was ready to go.

Did you catch that? Yes, 153 pounds of luggage. Groceries are extremely expensive in Iqaluit and because I was allowed to bring two pieces of checked luggage, I figured that I might as well use my full allowance. Just to give you a point of comparison, milk costs $4.00 a litre, toilet paper is $3.00 a roll, and toothpaste is $6.00 a tube. Why would I come with just 20 pounds of clothes?

This morning the sun rose at 9:30. It isn't really that bright outside, but Iqaluit always has some sun unlike places further north. As I write this at 1:20, the sun is setting and it will be pitch black by 2:00.

I am here for three or four weeks (maybe more, maybe less). There isn't a lot to do as we don't have television right now, so there is a good chance that there will be more posts. A belated happy holidays to everyone!

Moore's

2006-12-23T20:55:00.000-05:00

I don't have any specific complaint with the men's clothing store Moore's. I've never shopped there nor do I know anyone who has. It could be the best store in the world, but I wouldn't know.

I do however think that it's very funny that they mention in their ads about the quality of their clothes. During the opening of Hockey Night in Canada's Coach's Corner when it mentions that it is brought to us by Moore's, you will see a Moore's label being sewn onto the inside of a jacket. If you look carefully, the stitching slides off of the bottom of the label and half of the bottom of the label is unstitched.

It reminds me of the line from The Simpson's episode where Mr. Burns makes a movie for the film festival: "We did 20 takes, and that was the best one."

RIP: Car Loan

2006-12-21T14:17:00.000-05:00

This arrived in the mail today and I'm very happy about it:

It Continues.

2006-12-18T19:25:00.000-05:00

I'm home, but I failed. I survived, but I wasn't able to find everything I need.

It took a little while to make it to the Eaton Centre, but I immediately hit the Bay. I asked my Dad what he wanted for Christmas, and like always he said, "Nothing." I eventually found out that he needed socks and underwear, which is another typical father thing to say. Nevertheless, I did purchase 6 pairs of underwear for him. It's a crappy gift, but what else do you buy for your father? Probably not underwear, but that's what I got him.

I was off to a good start and I had a $10 gift certificate from Sears so I headed down to the children's department there to get some clothes for my niece. I decided against toys since she's only 16 months old and won't really appreciate them. I opted for clothes to help out her Mom and Dad. With my gift certificate, the shirt and pants were only $2.41 so I decided to go back to the mall and get her something else. I picked up two more shirts.

I wandered around trying to think about what to buy for my sister and brother-in-law. I was going to get them a couple of seasons of Six Feet Under, but decided that, though I would really like that gift, it probably wasn't the most appropriate gift in this our first Christmas without my Mom. Also, I think that getting a DVD isn't such a great gift at Christmas-- this coming from someone who is giving underwear to his father.

I left the mall with the intention of going to Future Shop, but I stopped at HMV. I wandered around and looked at all the piles of DVDs that, no doubt, will all be sold in the next two weeks. What a racket! Anyway, before long I just grew bored, and left. When I got outside, I just started walking home. I didn't want to shop anymore so I followed my feet and wandered back to Queen street. I went into a few junk shops to see if anything struck me as being to my sister's taste, but I couldn't find anything that I could see her enjoying. There was a ton of great stuff that I would love, but nothing good for her.

I walked up Bathurst and stopped for some Vietnamese food. It was 4:00 and I was hungry so I decided to treat myself. I was back home by 5:00.

Tomorrow will have to see the end of this nightmare. I'm hoping to have a vision tonight of what to get for them, but this might very easily become a Christmas Eve pressure of a deadline situation.

It Begins!

2006-12-18T11:22:00.000-05:00

I am doing it. I am making a big move today and it's one that I may or may not recover from. I am going to start and complete my Christmas shopping.

I'm going to try to avoid the malls because they are depressing and horrible places. I hope to do all my shopping at privately owned shops, but for someone like me who dislikes shopping, the mall is a necessary evil. Go in, get everything you need in one place, and leave. It's almost worth the feeling of filth and guilt just to be back home as quickly as possible.

I'm going to walk downtown and window shop along the way. If anything strikes me, I will stop and make a quick purchase. With luck, I will be finished within the first two blocks. Pipes dreams!

Check in a little later for an update and to see if I've made it home in one piece.

CSI: Bored Wednesday

2006-12-13T22:08:00.000-05:00

It's another Wednesday night and it's time for CSI: New York and their fabulous musical interludes. To qualify as a musical interlude must last at least 30 seconds and not have any other dialogue. It should be noted that most dramas have music of some description during the entire program. When a show is really bad, it has to tell you how to feel through music.

1) 10:00. During the opening segment when a mother discovers he murdered daughter.
2) 10:07. Some people playing broomball discover a body. There is about 45 seconds of the game that adds nothing to the story.
3) 10:14. Establishing shot of a New York City building cuts to forensic unit personel investigating the scene.
4) 10:22. Backstory into a romance between Mac and a forensic scientist.
5) 1034. Reconstruction of the crime in the field.
6) 10:53. Figure skater skating.

All in all, not that bad as far as lengthy musical time-killing goes. Still, very weak television.

Reindeer Flip Flopping

2006-12-12T18:24:00.000-05:00

It's never made sense to me that Rudolph (the biggest the castout in Christmas history), when given special treatment by Santa, was embraced and adored by the other reindeer. If I know reindeer bullies, and I think that I do, they are more likely to further ostracize him.

I turned on the television last night to an evening of Christmas shows for kids. Dr. Seuss's The Grinch Who Stole Christmas was on. I doubt that there are many of my generation who don't love watching it.

Following the Grinch was Frosty. I wasn't interested so I went downstairs to make dinner. When I returned to my tv, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was on.

As a kid, I only got excited about two Christmas specials: The Grinch, and A Charlie Brown Christmas. I thought that I might have unfairly judged Rudolph, so I decided to watch it. I had thought that it was just sad reindeer has the last laugh.

I discovered a few things here:

Robert May created Rudolph in 1939 as a promotion for the Montgomery Ward chain of department stores. He created a poem (in rhyming couplets) and the store chain distributed a colouring book of the story as a Christmas promotion. By 1946, 6 million books had been distributed.

There was a huge demand for licensing, and since May was an employee of Ward's he received no royalties. His wife had had been ill and May was in debt as a result, and managed to convince Montgomery Ward president, Sewell Avery, to give him the rights to Rudolph.

May cashed in on Rudolph. He had his brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, write a Rudolph song which was sung by Gene Autry in 1949 and became a hit second only to "White Chirstmas" as top seller all-time.

I really wasn't that impressed with the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Christmas Special last night. I didn't like it as a kid and I couldn't believe that they had turned a five-stanza song into an hour-long special. I'd never heard of Sam The Snowman, Hermey the Misfit Elf, Yukon Cornelius, and The Abominable Snow Monster of the North, and was very skeptical of the show. It wasn't until I did a little research that I discovered that there was a story before the song, and that the characters in the special are actually based on original characters.

The best part of the show, by far, is during the credits. Santa's elves join him on the sleigh and give toys umbrellas and then throw them over the side. One elf decides not to give a little bird an umbrella and throws it off the edge without one. The funny thing is that earlier in the show, they made a big deal about this bird being a misfit toy and was unable to fly, but only was able to swim. I take it that misfit toy bird didn't find a child to love him!

Beta to the Max

2006-12-11T01:16:00.000-05:00

I foolishly upgraded to the new version of Internet Explorer. I use Firefox 98% of the time, but have Explorer jsut in case. In one of the frequent Windows updates, it automatically changed to the new version. I had to deinstall that update because it was garbage, and because the page that I needed to view wouldn't recognize it.

I switched to the new beta version of hotmail. I used it for a couple of weeks before I reverted back to the older version. The beta version is a mess and so much bother. I couldn't stand having to relogin 20 times a day, often in the middle of using it. They have a lot of kinks to work out there.

I switched my blog to the new beta version of blogger, and haven't had a chance to properly investigate it, but thought that I would make a start by posting this one. I've noticed that the dashboard is very different and I can now more closely moderate comments. There is a label feature, and apart from some font and graphics changes, I haven't noticed anything else. I guess that that'll be a discovery in progress.

The Office

2006-12-07T13:50:00.000-05:00

As most of you know I am a big fan of the Ricky Gervais podcasts, and for a while all my days were spent listening to all the Karl Pilkington drivel that was possible. Despite all this, I had never watched The Office.

I watched Extras and really enjoyed it, but I put off watching The Office. I couldn't bring myself to do it, because I feared that the cringe-factor would just be too much for me to enjoy, and might tarnish my opinion of the other work.

I decided to take the plunge. Yes, at times the show is incredibly difficult to watch but I did thoroughly enjoy it. I laughed and laughed, but, I must admit, there were many moments where I actually covered my eyes and looked away because it was just too much. Funny, but too much.

This past weekend, I started watching the US version of The Office. I had heard that it was really good, but I was skeptical. I feared that it would be a watered down version of the orginal. I immediately enjoyed the show. The pilot was more a "best-of" of the original, and I was curious to see where they would go once the US writers took over.

I have watched 37 episodes, and am a big fan. While still difficult to watch, I love the supporting characters and the sharp writing. Kevin and Stanley are amazing. There are two moments that spring to mind that I had to pause so that I could properly laugh.

1) Clip 1.

2)

Though YouTube is full of clips, I recommend watching the show from the beginning. I would not recommend the marathon kind of watching schedule that I did simply because when you have reached the end, you will feel dejected and heartbroken that now you have to wait for the television schedule for your next fix.

Drastic Customer Service Action

2006-12-06T09:25:00.000-05:00

I loathe automated telephone systems for a number of reasons but my experience with my home security system company was one of the worst.

I called them last week and was on the phone for 40 minutes trying to get someone to come to my house to make some modifications to the system. I was transferred all across North America. It's easy to tell when you are transferred out of the country because a postal code suddenly becomes a zip code.

Every time I was transferred, I had to reidentify myself, which was no easy task since the information is not in my name. It's actually in my sister and brother-in-law's name which makes my call very suspicious. When they ask me my sister's name, I actually got it wrong because we call her by her middle name whereas she goes by her first name in more formal situations (I suspect that the only reason she does this is because her name is a little unusual and can't stand having to explain and spell it all the time).

After being transferred and waiting in "priority sequence" only to have to be retransferred was incredibly frustrating. I was stuck on hold for ages and had to listen to that horrible elevator music and the occasional, "You're call is important to us."

Eventually, I gave up, and decided to send them an email. I have yet to hear a response.

I was walking down my street on Saturday evening and noticed an ***** truck parked in the street. I thought, "That's odd. I just spent ages on the phone with them and there's one of their trucks." It's funny how you notice things like that all at once.

Despite my problems with the phone system and my frustration with it, I stil needed to get in touch with the secuirty system company. I decided to draft this letter:

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is ***** and I live on ***** Street. I am a ***** customer and need to have some work done on my security system. After trying to call your company and being placed on hold and transferred all across North America for more than 40 minutes, I no longer could deal with the automated telephone system. I sent an email but I have not received a response.

I need to have two motion sensors disabled or need to purchase 4 remote control pads. I would like to get a quote on how much this will cost.

I am sorry to have to communicate with you this way, but after my thoroughly unpleasant experience trying to telephone, I figured, "What the hell? I'll do this the old-fashioned way."

I can be reached at: *****.

Thanks!

I went out last night to meet a friend for drinks, but before I did, I placed the letter under the windshield wiper of the security system company's truck that was parked on my street.

I received a phone call this morning at 9:17 from the security company, and we arranged to have them come to my house to do the necessary work on Friday afternoon.

I use technology as much as the next guy. I prefer to scan documents and send them as a jpeg through email than using a fax or sending a photocopy in the mail. I question though the idea that new technology is always beneficial.

I am not the only person who hates automated phone systems, and I dare you to try to call a phone company or television provider and get off the phone in less than 30 minutes. I would wager that you would spend 80% of your time on hold, and would hear more words of advertising than you would hear from a human customer service representative. It would be very interesting to learn how much business has been lost because of automated telephone systems. To be fair, they probably have made money simply because people didn't want to deal with the phone system and accepted the billing error.

Fortunately, I was able to take matters into my own hands in this case and will get the service that I needed. I will never understand the why companies need to make it so complicated for customers to their spend money.

Inactivity Knows No Bounds

2006-12-02T23:57:00.000-05:00

I spent most of the last couple of weeks at my desk. When I haven't been sitting here, I have:

-Been running. I am back in the swing of things with the running again. My gluteus medius feels fine, and I've managed to squeeze in 36 kilometres this week. It was absolutely beautiful out in the middle of the week and I was able to haul my shorts out of the drawer again. The temperature has dropped now, and I'm going to have to suffer.

-Been to a concert. It was Sloan concert somewhere in the teens for me. I get the feeling that the band's heart just isn't in it anymore. They are clearly satisfied with their lot in life and are quite content to put up with the Slo-oane chants and having to play at the wretched Kool Haus if it means that they get a fat paycheck. I thought at one point about shouting, "Play the Future Shop song!!" All joking aside, I am a Sloan fan and have been for more than 10 years. They will always be a great band for me and a band that I listen to and think about my lost youth. I will never in my life recount visiting the Kool Haus, however. In that cavern, it was more like an outdoor concert than a club show. I will never forgive exclusivity deals either. If I want to drink a beer at a show, I want to be able to drink something other than Canadian in a can or a Cool Shot. Great album here. Check out two amazing covers here and here.

-Raked leaves. Yesterday was a thoroughly disgusting day. It poured rain for most of the day, but by mid-afternoon there was a break and I headed outisde to clean up the yard before the snow. I worked for a few minutes before it started raining, but toughed it out and finished the job. I was soaked to the skin by the end. After all that, there was no freezing rain, and now snow. Instead there was a lot of wind and I need to rake again because the neighbours are lazy.

-Purchased some of the Permanent stamps. The concept is a little odd but I suppose that they wouldn't do it if it didn't makes financial sense. The stamps are 51 cents and can be used even if the postage rate increases. I bought 50 stamps so when the price goes up to 52 cents, I'm going to have a couple of cool quarters in my pocket. I suppose that it costs more than one penny to make a one cent stamp and I expect that the next big move by Canada Post will be to discontinue a few small value stamps. Maybe with all these savings they can hire a letter carrier that delivers to my street even when it rains.

-Taken a cab. I walked to the Dufferin Mall for groceries and took a cab home. I've decided that I don't mind spending money on a cab with my groceries since I no longer have to pay for my car. Two ten-dollar trips are better than the hundreds of dollars to maintain a car each month. Thankfully, I only have two more payments until it's completely paid for. I need to think about what I'm going to do without that monthly expense. The reason I mention the cab ride is because the driver was listening to a gospel station. During the trip I listened to a minister praying. It sounded as though he didn't know what he was talking about and his politics and biases really came out during the prayer. It was a peaceful ride, but a little uncomfortable.

-Played video baseball. My roommate bought MLB 2K6 and I started a season. I drafted a team and proceeded to get beaten up by the computer in my first four games (78-7). I lost the fifth game 4-3, so I thought that I was on the comeback. Thankfully, I discovered later that my season was deleted. One hundred and sixty-two games is a long season, and I'm relieved that I don't have to continue getting killed.

Departmental

2006-11-29T23:45:00.000-05:00

I had a nice lunch with a friend today who gave me free concert tickets. The conversation was nice, too.

After my lunch, I walked over to The Bay. I accidentally paid my bill twice last month and had an $80 credit. I needed to get Christmas and long overdue thank you cards and figured, "Hey, free 80 bucks!"

I've decided that one of the things that frustrates me most about shopping is never knowing where anything is. I must have looked at the in-store maps about a dozen times. I pride myself on being able to read maps, but there is something fundamentally confusing about navigating a department store.

At the root of the problem is that there was not a single instance in which I approached the escalator correctly. It I wanted to go up, I first arrived at the down escalators and had to wind my way around merchandise in order to find the way up. At one point the escalator jumped over to another section and instead of turning the right way, I turned the wrong way and wandered around trying to find the right way. The whole time looking at the map, and feeling like a moron for clearly appearing like I didn't belong there.

Just a point of digression... the escalator is not a ride. You are still supposed to walk up it, or, at the very least, move to one side or the other. If you are shopping with a friend, do not stand side-by-side stand in single file so I can get the hell out of there faster.

I did manage to find what I wanted, but it took a real toll on my feet. Something about the floors of department stores make my body tired and sore seconds after treading upon them. I am also sure that the temperature in there was 5 degrees higher than everywhere else. My head gets cloudy in that heat, and the feeling of utter loss of direction, and the confusion of not knowing which way is north sends me into a panic of, "What if I never get out of here? How much longer will I have to keep walking before I find the stationary department? Where is the mall entrance? What if I get too tired to go home and have to stay here?"

There are 26 days until Christmas and I dread having to return to any store. More and more I'm thinking that this'll be a strictly online gift holiday.

Lesson Learned: Folding Pocket Aces

2006-11-28T11:15:00.000-05:00

I had a terrible night's sleep last night. I tossed and turned and couldn't get this blog post out of my head. During those three hours of restlessness and stress dreams, I should have gotten out of bed and written it. Instead, I suffered.

I was playing a freeroll tournament yesterday and did something that I've never done before, and never thought that I would/could do. It was a qualifier and the top 30 players in this event qualify for a $1000 freeroll that happens on Saturday.

I was cleaning the house and missed the first hour or so of the tournament. By the time I returned, the blinds had eaten my 1500 in chips down to 220. I doubled up quickly, and doubled up again, and then tripled up. My chips were about average at roughly 3500. I waited and played smart and built my stack up to 15000.

I sat on my stack for a while and watched people get eliminated, bringing me closer and closer to the top 30. The prize is exactly the same whether you finish in 1st or in 30th, but anything other than top 30 earns you nothing.

With about 60 players remaining, I decided that one more win would mean that I could sit out for the rest of the game and still qualify so I played pocket queens against a smaller stack. He pushed all-in preflop and I called his 8,000 or so. He turned over QJ spades. I was dominating, and looking really good. Flop was nothing but one spade hit. Of course the turn and river were spades, and I lost.

I was still in the tournament, but only had about 7500 in chips. With so many players remaining, I was in trouble. I had to really struggle to hang on and finish in the top 30. I won some small pots, but nothing important and my chips hovered around 8500.

With 31 players remaining, I was in 33rd place. The player in 31st was "away" and was folding every hand. The blinds and antes were slowly eating away all his chips. After posting the small blind he had 186 chips left. I knew that the 300 ante would put him all-in next hand and, with luck, someone at his table would knock him out. I had been widdled away to 3100 in chips and could last much longer. At exactly this point, I was dealt AA.

This is the strongest starting hand in poker and one that normally would make me jump for joy. Though very tempted, I noticed that the small and the big blind had 44000 and 36000 in chips. With only one more player to eliminate, they would likely both call no matter what cards they held. I would be risking every chip and would be jeopardizing a qualifying top 30 finish. I knew being eliminated now would mean winning absolutely nothing.

I folded my pocket aces.

I couldn't believe that I had done it. In the next hand at the other table, the player with 186 chips was forced all-in by the ante and his 93 was easily beaten and he was eliminated in 31st position. I was in the money and no matter how I finished I would qualify for Saturday's tournament.

With that player out and my win secured, I went all in with nothing and won. The next hand I was, shockingly, dealt pocket aces and went all-in. The big chip leader called me with 53 unsuited. Flop was KQ5, turn was a 6, and the river was a 3. I was eliminated in 27th place (a few had gone out the hand before). It was a perfect end to the experience since it shows just how vulnerable pocket aces are. It was absolutely the right move to move all-in at this point, but absolutely wrong to move all-in earlier no matter how strong my cards were.

I will never know if my earlier aces would have held up, but it doesn't matter. It would have been stupid to risk everything and possibly finish in 31st position. If I had, I would have walked away with nothing. Folding the strongest staring hand in poker meant that I am now playing for some real money this Saturday.

PART NEReD

2006-11-27T23:20:00.000-05:00

I have received three admonishments for the line in my last post, "My partner works there and is working over Christmas, so I decided to visit her."

The Canadian Oxford dictionary defines "partner" as... don't you remember starting essays and reports like that in elementary school? Awesome! Actually, Wikipedia has a good entry for girlfriend and it points out, "At times, since "girlfriend" and "partner" mean different things to different people, the distinctions between the terms are subjective, and which term is used in a relationship will ultimately be determined by personal preference."

I prefer to use the term "partner" instead of "girlfriend" because as a student I always heard people talk about their girlfriends. "My girlfriend's parents were out of town this weekend," or, "You'd better not think about looking at my girlfriend you goggle-eyed nerd!" These girls never had names and, to me, "girlfriend" always made them sound like property. "My Vette was tearing around town all weekend," or, "You'd better not think about looking at my Vette you goggle-eyed nerd!"

Every sensitivity training course in the country will teach you that when you are speaking to someone and they mention their sexual partner, you cannot, or should not, assume the partner is of the opposite sex (nor of the same sex). If you use of the word partner instead of girlfriend, people jump to a conclusion about your orientation.

I use the word partner instead of girlfriend for a few reasons.

1) It has a level of sharedness. We are not chattel to each other. We make decisions for ourselves, and we make decisions together. Responsibilities are shared. Both people are equal in the relationship.

2) It does not make a statement about my sexual orientation. I do not need to brag. I don't need to declare to the world that I am a heterosexual. I don't walk into someone's house and say, "Should I take off my purchased-in-Baltimore-shoes?," or introduce myself to a coworker, "Hello, I'm coming to terms with the unexpected and horrific death of my mother." There are some things that people don't need to know. Until they meet her and get to know her, people need only know that there is someone special in my life.

3) Using the word partner exposes prejudice. Invariably, the listener will hear "partner" and come to a decision about gender. Why have they assumed that the partner is female or male? This says a lot about them. Hopefully it will allow them to reflect on the reasons why they interpret the world the way that they do. Assumptions can reveal prejudice and bigotry that should be countered.

I will continue to use the word "partner" for these reasons. I will also use the term girlfriend, and will relish being called boyfriend. It's rather frightening to me to think that so much hassle can be caused by mere semantics. Shouldn't linguists (I'll pass on the obvious joke) have worked this out by now?

Application Blues

2006-11-24T12:15:00.000-05:00

I'm growing tired of my blog to tell you the honest truth. That's one reason why I haven't been posting very much.

It isn't as though things haven't been interesting and there has been plenty going on, but I just haven't felt as compelled to tell the world about everything.

I also have found it difficult to justify spending time working on my blog since I have been working on other things. I'm in the process of applying to grad school and between all the letters to references, statements of intent, teaching assistantship applications, and rushing around chasing documents, I haven't felt like I could realy spare an hour of writing time. When I spend the entire day writing, I don't really feel like sitting at my computer and writing more. Statements of intent are some of the most difficult writing I've ever had to do and after a couple of hours, I don't want to be anywhere near word processing software.

I got an early Christmas present yesterday. I'm going to Iqaluit over the Christmas break. My partner works there and is working over Christmas, so I decided to visit her. It will be a very interesting place to spend New Year's. I'm hoping to do some supply teaching up there if I stay into January.

Other than that, things progress as usual. I do have about three half finished posts that may appear but until these applications are finished, I doubt that I will have the fortitude get to them.

Back to the Normal Drivel

2006-11-14T16:27:00.000-05:00

By overwhelming public demand, I have returned to post, and, with luck, will do so more frequently.

Despite this, I don't have a lot to say. Here's a brief update:

- I went to the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair on Friday and it was great fun. I had a bison burger and am convinced that a restaurant chain that only sells buffalo would be a huge success. I wish that I knew where to buy bison in this city. I'm sure that there are places, but

- I've watched the first 10 minutes of CSI: New York and there have already been three musical interludes. Will keep you posted.

- I'm up to $40 in my free money account, and $46 in my real money account.

- I went to a housewarming party on Saturday.

- I took the subway and the "Airport Rocket" to the airport without incident, but on the return trip five days later, I took a different bus that went along Dixon road all the way to Lawrence West subway. It was 25 minutes slower than the first one.

- There have been two more musical interludes by the 34-minute mark.

- Everyone who says, "I don't know what you're talking about," is guilty.

- In celebration of one month without biting my fingernails, and also one month without clipping or filing those nails, I was treated to a manicure. I don't have a problem with that, and don't mind telling the world that, "Yes, I have had a manicure." It was all right, but not something that I need to have on a regular basis.

- 49 minutes in and we have another musical interlude.

- Too soon, another musical interlude. It sounded like Ben Harper, but might, of course, been Jack Johnson. That makes 7 in a 44-minute show not to mention the fact that the music

- Why is Jamie Lee Curtis hocking board games? Board games need a celebrity salesperson?

- Lloyd Robertson looks like a corpse.

Risk-Free Rounding: Part Deuce

2006-11-08T21:20:00.000-05:00

Another poker post. If you're not interested, check this out.

The real way to make money on online poker sites is to enter freerolls. Here I was worried about losing my bankroll, and all the while the sites are handing out money for doing next to nothing.

Freerolls on big sites are a waste of time. All the ones that are highly advertised are useless. For example, a freeroll at ***.com has 10,000 entrants. You must finish in the top 27 to win. The problem though is that if you do manage to finish in the top .27%, you don't win money, but qualify to enter the weekly freeroll. You then must wade through hundreds and hundreds more players in order to grind your way up into the money. The payoffs may be decent, but the chances of surviving are slim. Bad cards come frequently and the best hand doesn't always end up winning.

Now I shouldn't complain about getting something for nothing, but there are better ways to earn a quick buck in the freeroll game.

There are a ton, of smaller online sites that are ripe for the picking. They offer freerolls in an effort to have people try their site. This is fine marketing, and I understand it, but from a player's perspective it's pure gold. I typically play at a site that offers a half dozen or so freerolls a day each with around 800 players. There is no qualifying for an additional tournament; if you finish in the top 10 you win cash. Roughly that means that the top 1.25% get paid.

You laugh and say, "Those are still ridiculous odds," and I would agree, but I've already increased the chance of success. Lets say in tournament one at one of the big sites, you finish in the top .5%. That's a great result, you've outlasted 9,500 players. Amazing finish, but you win nothing. Let's say that you win that qualifier and beat all 9,999 other players. That's an incredible result, but you get beaten early in the real thing later on in the week and, monetarily (and I recognize that knowledge is worth far more than money, blah, blah ,blah) you've earned nothing. If you finish in the top .5% of the field at one of the lesser known sites you've still had a great game, but you also get to add some some cash to your bankroll and gain that valuable knowledge. I'll take this one step further.

Many of the smaller sites sponsor poker forums as part of their marketing campaigns. The forum managers make money based on the number of referrals that they get, and they sponsor members-only freerolls. I have joined a few of these forums and played their freerolls. Yesterday, I played one that paid the top 10 players, and the event had 41 entrants. That means that the top 24.4% get paid.

Even the worst player will end up in the money if they persevere. It is not uncommon for people who aren't even playing to finish in the money. In other words, you could sign up for every freeroll, not play, and still end up in the black. All this with absolutely no risk your credit cards. Brilliant!

Now there are more to these freerolls than simply taking the money and running. The forum's goal is to create a community, and for the administrators to make money. It is expected, then, that if you do finish in the money in the freeroll that you play that week's forum buy-in tournament.

Before you drop your knowledge of Shakespeare with, "Aye, there's the rub," consider this: the weekly buy-in has a much higher payout, and still fewer entrants. For example, yesterday's buy-in had a prize pool of $115 and the top 10 were paid. There were 18 entrants. That means that 55.6% of players made their buy-in back and more.

I registered for a tournament a few weeks ago, but couldn't play as there was a technical snafu and the game started late. I woke up the next morning and discovered that I had finished in 3rd place and won $6. Not much you say, but that was for 30 seconds of work to find the password and register. I bought-in at that evening's tournament for $2.20 and outlasted 21 players and won $12.80 plus my $2.20 ($15 total). For playing one freeroll tournament, I was up $21. It took a little more than an hour.

As you sit there and shake your head, with your mouth agape at anyone who would worry about a measly $21, consider the risk: zero. I am risking nothing here. I'm spending time, sure, but I'm not dropping $10,000 on an entry into a high-profile event. I'm realistic about my abilities and know that the chances of me defeating 8,000+ other players (mostly professionals) is slim to none especially at this stage of the game. You have to train in order to win a marathon and it is foolish to believe that you can make 10 million dollars playing poker without training.

I'm having fun and using my leisure time, to practise my game, and to learn how to get better. I'd much rather do that and consistently make a small amount of money than to blow a big wad of my paycheque entering a tournament that I don't have any realistic chance at winning. In the past two weeks, I've won more than $55 simply by playing freerolls. I'm going to transfer that directly into my cash-game system (which, incidentally, has grown to $34.49). The results may seem small now, but through the process of learning, I am building a bankroll and gaining the wisdom to do something with it later on.

Nails Travails

2006-11-07T22:08:00.000-05:00

Right now I'm just waiting for my hair to dry before I head over to get a haircut. Because my hair grows in so many different directions at once, it is important that it is washed and brushed before I go to the barber. I've been to get a haircut without the wash and it hasn't been pretty. With hair like mine, I would never be angry at a barber who was stumped and made a few mistakes. I just try to reduce that chance for error by doing the necessary prep-work.

I should never have stopped biting my nails. They are driving me crazy. The skin underneath is healing and is very itchy.

I'm back from getting my hair cut and my nails are still bugging me. I spent the afternoon cleaning my house. I swept and vaccuumed the whole place. I scrubbed down both bathrooms, and took care of dusting all the surfaces. I don't really know why I go so nuts with the cleaning, but it's all worth it when it's over. Still, with wet hands for much of the afternoon, my fingers are bugging me tonight.

I went to an engagement party a couple weekends ago and one of my readers was commenting on how he, too, was a chronic nail-biter. We lamented together how much we wanted to stop, but how difficult it was to do. We sounded like a couple of addicts.

My advice to him now would be to keep gnawing away. Fingernails are not all they're cracked up to be. I'm finding that the withdrawal symptoms of quiting are quite severe. I'm scratching myself a lot by mistake, my nails are getting caught on my clothing, and they snag into things like door jambs and bend back. In other words, I'm taking a beating. Harpo is enjoying the fingernails, and I must say that shampooing is much nicer. I'm sure that it's worth it, but I'm not feeling it right now.

Slight Change of Plans

2006-11-02T09:40:00.000-05:00

After a very busy day yesterday, I had decided to not do too much today. I certainly wasn't expecting anything to happen. I got a phone call at 9:00 from a friend who had decided to take the day off and go golfing. Bing-bang-boom... I'm going golfing today.

I'll make time to explain yesterday when I get back. I'm sure that I will also explain the rage that goes hand and hand with my golf game.

Happy Halloween

2006-10-31T12:12:00.000-05:00

Probably the best Halloween gift that I could get is this. Any day with Karl is better than the days without him.

I've made it to today without having any of those mini chocolate bars. I might sneak into the grocery store or pharmacy tomorrow to buy a couple of packs when they're on sale. I know myself well enough to know that I will not be able to stockpile them. I just eat them all in one sitting. It doesn't matter how small they are if you eat 12 of them at a time.

My medical benefits company has lost my claimant report and they want me to fax it to them. I asked them if I could scan and email a jpeg, but they want it as a fax for some stupid reason. I will send it so that I can get my money, but it frustrates me that I have to pay for their mistake.

Rage Incorporated

2006-10-27T10:27:00.000-04:00

I'm heading off with my Dad to take care of a tree. This thing has crossed us one too many times, and we're going to make the problem disappear. Actually, the tree died of old age a couple of years ago and my father is afraid that it is going to fall down and land on something important. He originally said that he was going to arrive at 1:00 pm, but I should have anticipated that he'd be three hours late. He has always been horribly late, and now that he is on his own, it's much worse.

I got up early this morning so that I could rake up the leaves around the house and get them to the curb before the garbage truck came by. I got changed into my running gear and took care of the yard waste and then went for a run. It was a cold morning, but I dressed too warmly and struggled. It is amazing how quickly a person can lose their fitness. I was able to run 20 kilometres five times a week and now I'm having a hard time running 8. It will come back in time, but it's a hard adjustment to be knocked back so soundly.

I went to bed late last night because I started watching the first five episodes of The Amazing Race. I am rooting for the single mothers and for the brothers simply because they seem like nice people. That's my only criteria. I can't stand it when the team shouts at each other, but I wonder if faced with all that stress and competition, if I might also lose my patience. Probably.

I went to bed but was awoken by the two upstairs neighbours having a scrap out. They fight like crazy up there and they aren't just little ones either. Screaming, yelling, stomping around. It's quite funny to listen to as a completely innocent bystander (even if it is 2:30 in the morning), but there is also something vaguely disturbing about it. I have never heard them do anything up there except yell at each other. They are recent newlyweds and from the sounds of it they are doing all the fighting and none of the making up. That doesn't bother me too much because I certainly don't want to hear them horizontally resolving their dispute, but it does make me wonder how much fighting is acceptable in a relationship.

My mother and father always seemed to be arguing with each other and they were married for 35 years. I don't know how they worked out their problems, and I know that some days were frosty between them. Still, you don't stay married to someone for 35 years if you can't find a way to live together. Perhaps a healthy screaming bout is how to make a relationship work.

I don't recall very many situations (if any) where I've yelled and screamed at my partner. I'm not a yeller, I guess. Maybe it's unhealthy, or maybe I just don't get bothered by things in the same way that other people do. I like to think that I'm fairly easy-going and very patient. I don't think that I could be in a relationship where someone feels like they can yell and scream and get into huge arguments at me. That's certainly the way it sounds upstairs. She seems to be doing most of the work. I'm not a person who relishes confrontation, and I can't ever see myself sleeping next to someone who has just unleashed spleen at me. Granted, I may deserve it, but I think that there are better ways to deal with anger than to pitch a fit.

Championship Television

2006-10-25T10:24:00.000-04:00

Thursday at 6:30 is quickly becoming my favourite television time of the week. I am loving Championship Bridge with Charles Goren on CGTV. The black-and-white show, airing on ABC from 1958-1962, is fantastic camp complete with corny commentating, stilted dialogue, and vintage advertisements.

I played a lot of Euchre in high school (too much some might argue), and while I do think that it is a fine game, I maintain that it is nothing when compared to bridge. With great players, Euchre is just second nature. The hands play themselves, and there is no way of making the great play that wins you the game. It's more a matter of luck of the cards than playmanship. It seems to me that to play Euchre well, you simply have to avoid screwing up.

I started playing bridge when I was in South America. My father and his friends taught me to play. It was a home rules variation that simplified it a little. Bridge is a very complex game and, while were certainly weren't playing it at its most sophisticated, I was hooked.

Championship Bridge is a great show that walks you through the game and allows you to follow along with players during some of their matches. It is a great insight into television history and is a refreshing change from the rest of the televised games, reality tv, and Deal or No Deal drivel.

One of the best aspects of the show is that it is aired with the original advertisements. I have long thought that it would be great to have a television show that airs advertising from the early days of television. It would feature great old ads from companies that still exist today as well as ones from long since bankrupt or conglomerated companies. The real appeal would be the real-life-sold-with-a-smile Mr. Burnsesque tributes to theories, practices, and products that have long become discredited, destructive, or found to be carcinogenic. It Seems Like Yesterday does it to some degrees, but as you can see by their crude website, their budget is poor and the show has an air of lethargic crumminess about it.

At the risk of sounding the curmudgeon, I have long believed that if you want something great, embrace that which pleases the aged. If want the best beer, just look for the oldest person in the bar and drink whatever they're drinking. If you want to the best cookies, find the oldest person at the bake sale and buy whatever they've made. If you want insight into music, rummage through the record collection of the oldest person you know.

Bridge is a fantastic game that I can't play simply because I'm the only person my age that I know who knows how to play it. I am no expert, and that doesn't help matters either since I don't know enough about it to teach anyone about it. I figure that if they can make poker an online sensation, and high-stakes backgammon a strong underdog, then competitive bridge has a lot of pop-culture explosion potential. If so, the creators of Charles Goren's Championship Bridge are ahead of their time, and if not, it's still quality entertainment.

Entertainment Week

2006-10-23T21:44:00.000-04:00

Stone Roses - "Elephant Stone"

I have finished listening to all of the Rick Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Karl Pilkington broadcasts, and spent last week listening to the series 2 podcast. Over the weekend, I listened to the first four episodes of series 3. I didn't think that anything could outdo Karl's diary, but Karl's poems have done it. The ramblings of a madman... Brilliant.

During the XFM broadcasts, Ricky spoke about training for a celebrity boxing event. I managed to find them on Youtube (Ricky Gervais boxing). It's not bad. As I was searching, I found a ton of great Karl videos. His acting in famous movies segments are fantastic. These are my two favourites:

I've started back with the running. I'm not going crazy, but ran 7.5k today and on Saturday.

My nails remain unbitten.

I'm still in search of a halloween costume.

Blogger spell-check suggests Gervais be changed to "gravies".

Kicking the Habit

2006-10-22T13:32:00.000-04:00

I've decided that I can no longer live with my fingernails in their current state. I have been a chronic nail biter for as long as I can remember. My father has been trying for more than 20 years to get me to stop biting my fingernails. It's a disgusting habit on par with, or worse than, nose picking and smoking.

I decided last weekend that I would stop biting my nails. I'm not sure exactly why. Maybe I'm growing more vain, maybe I need to reduce the number of vices in my life, maybe I'm just sick and tired of looking at them. I paused for a moment while typing last week and they turned my stomach. They were jagged, rough, bloodied, and gross. I'm 30 years old for God's sake!

Last Sunday, I went to the nail polish section of the pharmacy. I felt quite foolish scanning the bottles trying to get exactly what I was looking for. I ended up purchasing a bottle of Sally Hansen brand Nail Biter. It's a clear liquid that you brush onto the nails, cuticles, and fingertips. Its active ingredient is sucrose octa acetate and it tastes terrible, but smells vaguely like bananas.

This is one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do. Forget about starting a small business, forget about moving across the country, forget about giving up all forms of sugar for eight months. It's awful. Every waking moment I am thinking about my nails and wanting to gnaw them down to the quick. My fingers feel strange and unusual to me. It's the same feeling you get when you can just feel an ingrown hair coming, or that you have a splinter in your skin; something just isn't right.

I haven't bitten my nails in over one week, but am on the verge of going mad. I know how people feel when they are trying to stop smoking or kick a drug addiction. The light at the end seems so far away, and all I really want is to give up.

They are, however, coming along nicely. There is white at the ends and even though they are still quite jagged I have been very disciplined and have resisted all temptation. When I'm really struggling, I been fiddling with a little plastic grape that I plucked off of a bowl of artificial fruit. It makes a nice suction cup, and occasionally I get a tiny little fart sound from it. It's great fun, but I'm not sure if that is any better or worse than the nail biting. All that matters right now is that it keeps my hands busy during this torture.

Lazy Shirt

2006-10-20T10:24:00.000-04:00

I've been very lazy this week when it comes to getting dressed. It has been quite cool in Toronto this week (for the past couple of months, actually) and I've been wearing sweaters. At the end of the day, I should take my shirts off one at a time and place them neatly into my laundry basket, but instead I take the t-shirt, collared shirt, long sleeved sweater, and fleece off all at once. The advantage is that, next morning, I can just slide back into them in a similar one-shot deal.

It is important to overlook the grossness of wearing the same clothes for four days in a row. That's not something I'm proud of, but I'm also not too proud of the fact that I haven't really left the house in the past four days. I don't believe that the clothes were stinky. I'm still showering and wearing deodorant after all. Let's not go nuts here.

I decided last night to play free poker at a bar near my house. I went for a run, took out the recycling and yard waste, and then took a shower. I was running late so I jumped into my russian doll shirt pile. I walked to the bar and played. It was one of those days when every hand you fold hits, and every hand you play misses. I folded Q3 and the flop hits QTQ and the 3 hits on the turn, for example. Then I get eliminated with pocket Aces as the other guy hit a club on a four club board. I'm glad it was free.

Anyway, as I'm getting up to leave, I notice that there is a white t-shirt on the floor beside my chair. I didn't think much of it. I picked it up and commented, "Someone dropped a shirt on the floor." I thought that maybe someone won it in a raffle or something. Why hadn't I heard about any raffle? I put the shirt on the back of a chair and then headed home.

I got up this morning and deciding to fart around the house a little, I didn't have to worry about my clothes. I grabbed my shirts and started to crawl into them. No t-shirt. I looked around the floor and under the bed for it. Nothing.

That t-shirt that I found at the bar was mine. I must have missed it in my rush to not be late. It must have stayed tucked in during my walk to the bar and then when I took my sweater off while playing poker it was able to squeak free.

It's a little embarrassing knowing that the undershirt the I have worn every day since Monday is now at the bar. Did someone pick it up? Is it in the lost and found? Did it get thrown into the garbage? Will it be waiting for me when I go back next week? The biggest question, I think, is: Can I conceivably go back and ask for it?

Risk-Free Rounding

2006-10-19T09:41:00.001-04:00

About ten months ago, my friend Colin and I decided to play a poker freeroll online. It was quite a lot of fun simply because the goal became to outlast each other. It didn't cost anything, but with 12,000 players it was all but impossible to make it into the money.

A little later, Colin was eager for a visit to the casino, but I was against it. We decided, instead, to make a deposit at an online poker site. It turned out that his bank wouldn't let him deposit, but mine would. I deposited $100.

I played that money for a long time. It would go up and down, but it didn't run out. When it was my brother-in-law's birthday, I transferred $50 into his account. I continued to play that initial $100 deposit until this past Tuesday. I cashed out $115 which left me with $12.84. Certainly not the big time, but I made a little money, had some fun, and paid for a birthday gift with someone else's money.

Even though I ended up in the black, the thing that troubled me was that I always felt like I was risking too much. I felt as though I was gambling and that I wasn't being smart. I felt that eventually I'd get stupid, greedy, or outplayed and lose it all.

I was listening to Chris Ferguson on this podcast and I decided that his idea makes sense. He took $1 and played it into $20,000 by managing his money with strict discipline. Poker, often equated with degenerates, is a game that can be played with class. Chris Ferguson certainly does that.

With the popularity of poker these days, I've seen degenerates. What fascinates me the most about poker are the professionals that are clearly very intelligent, bright, gifted people who choose to play poker over being mathematicians, doctors, and scientists. With so many degenerates, it's nice to think about poker as a game that requires thought, discipline, and proper money management.

This is money after all. It should be managed properly especially when it's in short supply and especially when you are gambling. Casinos make billions because people are willing to risk their whole bankroll on "a feeling." While I don't think that it's possible to beat a casino, I do think that it's possible to take someone's money at the poker table. I also know that everyone I play with has got their sights on me. It important to be mindful of that and to protect your money. It's sad that banks think of your money in the same way. Leave your money in a savings account long enough and it will disappear through service charges. It's sad that the only way to protect your money from the banks is to keep it under your mattress. I digress.

Chris Ferguson outlines how he used a very strict money management system to grind his way to $20,000. I have decided after cashing out that with my remaining $12.84 I would use the same money management system to try to build my bankroll.

Rules:
1) Only sit down with 5% of your total bankroll.
2) Leave the table when you have 10% of your bankroll at the table.
3) If you lose what you bring to the table, do not play for at least 1 hour (stopping for the day is best).

The system does have to be adapted because poker sites have minimum table buy-ins. The minimum buy-in at the 1c/2c table is $1.00. Though I should really only be bringing $0.64 to the table, I must bring $1.00 to meet the table minimum. That's fine. I will still leave the table with 10% of my bankroll. When I get above $20 the 5% rule will be strictly enforced.

So on the first day with my $12.84, I brought $1.00 to the table and had to leave the table when I had grown it to $1.28. I couldn't let it ride and I couldn't bring more money to the table. I hit a big pot and left the table with $1.71.

This system is going to take a long time. It's going to be tough to stick to it and to not get greedy. It's going to be difficult to be satisfied winning 71 cents. In time, my bankroll will grow and when I get a run of bad cards, it is very unlikely (if not impossible) for me to lose my entire bankroll simply because I'm never risking very much. I think that in the long run, this is a solid system that will ensure profit, and hopefully big profit.

Here's a breakdown of the week so far:

It's frightening having that written out because it clearly shows that I have spent a huge amount of time earning a whopping $4.95. It's hardly worth it if you break it down into an hourly wage. The way I see it is that I am paying my dues now with the knowledge that bigger payoffs are coming down the road.

I'm not going to become a professional poker player. I enjoy the game and I play it in my spare time. I take it seriously, but I'm not going to give up my life, friends, or work for poker. When I have spare time I'll play. This system, I believe, will ensure that I will be able to play for a long time and will earn money in the long run. With the risk all but removed, I can enjoy wins and losses knowing that after having cashed back my initial $100 deposit on Tuesday, all this is profit.

Procrastinating 101

2006-10-18T09:12:00.000-04:00

As is typical with me these days, I only make time to blog when I have something really important to do.

I made it back to Ontario on Friday. The plane was delayed because of the nasty weather that hit Ottawa on Friday afternoon. The headwinds were quite strong and the plane was 30 minutes late. My Dad picked me up and drove me to the farm. I was knackered so I went straight to bed.

The next morning was all about cleaning up. The house was in great shape, but the yard needed to be raked. Friday's high winds and rain knocked most of the leaves off the trees and my Dad wanted the interment area to be neat and tidy. My sister, brother-in-law, and neice arrived at about 11:30 and they all headed inside. I was left to finish working as always seems to be the case. It's actually quite funny how some people can avoid work so craftily. I don't know how you can sit by the woodstove drinking a Mike's Hard Lemonade and having a chat while someone is outside working. I digress, but will digress again later.

The interment ceremony was very nice. The funeral director asked if I wanted to carry the cremains and I agreed without really thinking. He placed them into my hands and my Dad started crying. I realized that what I should have said was, "Not on your life am I going to hold the ashes of my mother, you psychopath." They were quite heavy. Heavier than I thought they would be. I looked down at them and realized that all that remained of my mother's body was wrapped up in a blue satin bag and that I was actually carrying it across the lawn. It was sickening, but not traumatic. It made me realize that, for the most part, I've come to terms with what happened.

We intered the cremains and laid some roses. We hugged each other and then went inside. I ate a big piece of apple crisp with milk on top. The sun had come out during the ceremony so I decided that I'd do some work. I got changed into my work clothes and headed out to stack wood. I filled up the truck three times and made two neat piles by the door of my Dad's house. That should last him a while. I expect that now that the precedent has been set, every time that I visit my father I will now have wood stacking detail. It was amazing, yet again, that I did all the work myself while the others watched television. I marvelled at their ability to come and check on me exactly as the last pieces of wood were being placed on the pile. I didn't care too much other than the fact that I kept thinking that this would go on forever and that it will someday be my job to take care of the farm and that I will invariably have to do it by myself.

We had turkey dinner on Saturday night and, again, my fears for the future continued to percolate. The kitchen was a complete disaster and so I loaded the dishwasher. I did get a little bit of help loading it, but there were still a lot of dishes to hand wash. My father fell asleep in a chair and my sister, after putting the baby to bed, decided to watch television. Now, I know that taking care of a baby all day is hard work, but cleaning up this gigantic mess wasn't my idea of a relaxing way to spend an evening either. I would have much preferred to have not raked leaves all morning, stacked wood all afternoon, and then washed dishes all evening. Playing with a baby sounds like much more fun to me especially if it allows you to lie on the couch ten minutes after you put her down for the night.

Anyway, my brother-in-law lost interest in the dishes when the composting needed attention, and made the excuse that there wasn't enough dishsoap. I turned the bottle upsidedown and balanced it delicately while the last of the liquid soap slid down inside of the bottle. I dug my hand into the sinkful of potato skins, egg shells, broccoli stems, and soggy breadcrumbs and took care of the composting. I washed the sink and by then gravity had helped salvage enough soap to wash the dishes. By then, too, I was all by myself in the kitchen and I resigned myself to washing up the stacks of pots, trays, and bowls alone.

How hard done by am I? What a whinging moaner! It wasn't all bad and I did manage to finish with enough time to watch an episode of the Professional Poker Tour on tv. My Dad thanked me for all my work and I sat smugly knowing that I put in a good day's work.

The next morning, I caught a ride with my sister's family to Ajax. The ride ended at the Pickering GO Train station and I was left to fend for myself. I was tired and a little bummed out about my vacation being over and having to return to real life again, so I fit right in on the GO Train. I didn't let the horror of the commute bother me. I took the train to Union Station and then took the subway home.

This week is all about finding a job. I need to stop procrastinating and get back to the task at hand. With luck, my posting will be more frequent.

Heading Home

2006-10-13T12:40:00.000-04:00

After promising some posts, days have gone by and I haven't managed to complete one. Nevertheless, I am heading back to Ontario this evening. It has been a great week and I hope to document it and to post some pictures when I get home. I am spending the weekend at my father's house as my mother's remains are being interred on Saturday afternoon. I hope that I'll be able to make some time early next week to catch up on all my goings on.

Computers, Argh!

2006-10-10T09:45:00.000-04:00

I just spent the last 45 minutes typing up a long blog entry. It was incomplete, but I had to get a glass of water and so I tried to save it. There was an error and I lost the whole thing. I committed the cardinal sin of not copying the entry to the clipboard before saving and the post is gone.

I will retype it later on this afternoon/evening or tomorrow, but I can't do it now. It is so demoralizing to do that much work only to have to start again.

The short version of the story is that right now I am in Iqaluit, Nunavut and will be here until Friday. More dispatches from the North to follow.

Lost Again

2006-10-04T23:59:00.000-04:00

I'm quite sure that the people who created the X-Files had no idea that it would become such a hit, and I suspect that this is the reason why the show always seemed to be floundering as the writers struggled to have all their ridiculous storylines tie together and make sense.

I have watched the last two seasons of Lost and even though it seemed complex and each week brought new fodder for geeks and water coolers, I had this sneaking suspicion that there was indeed a plan and that the writers had some idea as to where the story would eventually end up. That is not to say that I don't think that there is a certain amount of panic in the writing process, but I think that, on the whole, the plot has already been determined.

After a summer of waiting, I was a little disappointed in tonight's season premiere. I'm not sure if I can put my finger on it exactly, but perhaps it's just that some of the mystery is gone. We now know much more about The Others, and I wonder if some of the cache is gone. Sure there are a lot of question marks, but I think that the very fact that the three main characters have been separated from the secondary characters has taken away some of the tension and some of the strength that the group had. It seems now as though The Others will simply break them down. I liked it when I thought that "our team" had a fighting chance, but now all hope seems lost.

New-Age Advertising

2006-10-03T16:55:00.000-04:00

A friend sent me Jose Gonzalez's cover of The Knife's "Heartbeats" about six months ago. It popped up on a random iPod playlist today and I was reminded about how great a track it is. I did some searching and discovered that the song was used (or is being used) in a Sony advertising campaign. It's an interesting ad so I'll post it, but will get no remuneration.

It's a strange world we live in where the Internet is being used to hock products in a way that makes people think they are being entertained. Today's ads are tricky and devious, but I suppose that it's just advertising adapting to the modern world.

I rarely watch television, and I only listen to public radio. I'm a money earning 30 year old who likes to think that he has a grasp, however tenuous, on what is new and exciting. I, and people like me, use the Internet when they have free time, and advertisers know that it's vital to hook in to that market. It isn't by accident that the above ad is on youtube. It isn't by accident that Tango has a spoof ad on youtube. It isn't by accident that there is a making of video on youtube which acts as much as a polished piece of advertising as the commerical itself. Sony and its advertisers are not stupid, and want people like me to help their campaigns. I am a patsy who is receiving absolutely nothing to post their ad, build up hype, and create brand for Sony televisions.

So devious (and I might say despicable) is this new modern search for advertising that it has become a blight to the Internet itself. Worse than the effects of any possible legislation or imploring stuntmen, is the greatest hindrance to music/video sharing: misnaming files. I was searching for last week's episode of Lost. I found a nice file called "Lost Season 3 Episode 1" only to discover that it was an 84-minute documentary about the conspiracy of 9/11 as an inside job set in motion by the government and those who could cash in. While an interesting argument, I am intrigued more by the fact that my Windows Media Player crashed in such a way that I could only stop the movie from playing by restarting my computer. I was doing something else, and ended up watching the whole thing. The closing line was something to the effect of: "Tell your friends about this. Tell everyone you know. Spread the word."

Advertising, I think, is a huge obstacle that the Internet has to overcome in order to ensure its future viability as a medium. Companies see the Internet as dollar signs, and they prey upon the foolish. Though I've likely defined advertising there, Internet advertising seems much more underhanded.

While I would like to believe that the Internet is still a place of freedom and democracy (to those who can afford it), I am increasingly shocked by just how much companies and swindlers are getting away with. The Internet is beyond law for the most part, and I fear that its anarcistic utopia will be destroyed by that freedom. It won't be long before we'll get sick of interactive Flash animated marketing campaigns, heading online to register and enter an under-the-cap code, and tailored spam from under the gaze of Big Brother. Will we end up chucking the whole thing? Can we do anything to keep the it from being a worldwide consumption tool?

Slow Sunday

2006-10-01T22:27:00.000-04:00

My blog received its 10,000th visitor this afternoon. Pretty awesome!

Went to a friend's birthday party last night and drank too much. I shocked myself by getting up at 8:45 and taking the subway to Eglinton. I was supposed to have brunch with friends, and was scheduled to arrive at 10:30. As I approached the door, I looked at my watch. 10:29. I climbed the steps and the door opened. My friend had just commented to his wife, "I don't think that he's going to be here at 10:30." He looked out the window and there I was.

I had a nice morning chatting and spending time with their baby. They weren't too pleased with their electrician who was supposed to arrive at 12:00 to give them an estimate. He was a no-show for the second time this week. It must be nice to have people so over a barrel that you can stand them up twice and still be so busy that you have to turn down jobs.

I was lucky enough to get a ride home, and the baby got to come along for the ride. For the first little bit, he looked out the window and listened to music, but as we approached my house, he started to fade. Knowing that it would ruin his nap, we opened the window, and I tried to engage him with toys and books. I jostled his foot, but those eyes were heavy. The whole thing seemed like those scenes in movies when the hero is trying to rescue someone from an overdose.

It was no use. The baby fell asleep, and I expect that the Sunday afternoon nap at their house was replaced with a rejuvenated baby on the tear for the afternoon. My afternoon nap, on the other hand, was a perfect 3 hours of destroying the last remnants of a hangover.

Misery Routine

2006-09-28T01:57:00.000-04:00

I know why the traffic situation in the city is so terrible, because I went through the agony of using our public so-called transportation yesterday. The only enjoyable part of it was when I was walking and not actually using the TTC.

I walked down to Silver Snail to pick up an Uglydoll for my neice. I figure that in a house full of Disney Store and Baby Gap, she needed something a little different and a lot cooler. I then walked east to University and turned north to go to the opticians to pick up my new glasses. The only problem was that I walked up to College before I realized that the opticians was one block south of Queen at King. Anyway, I got to the store and tried on my glasses only to find that the tinting was far too dark (they were sunglasses!), and that they needed to be redone. So, I wait again.

I hopped on the King streetcar to begin my journey to the doctor's office/sports medicine clinic. The car was completely packed and after a few stops, I noticed that the back was less congested. I pushed through a gaggle of unhappy people and had a little more space to breathe. I got off at Bathurst and without waiting, headed north on the streetcar to Bathurst station. I transferred to the bus and got off at Glencairn. The ride lasted about 45 minutes. I was 20 minutes late for my appointment because of the traffic problems at Bathurst and Eglinton, but they managed to squeeze me in without too much trouble. It turns out that I have a strained gluteus medius. (And now I've told the world that I have a broken butt.)

The next plan was to head south to Union Station to catch the GO Train to Ajax for the birthday party. I waited and waited for the bus to arrive and eventually it did. It was one of the new buses and I just have to say that they are one of the most poorly designed pieces of machinery I have ever seen. Sure, they do a lot of fancy tricks that I appreciate immensely, but they don't do a very good job at transporting people. There are shockingly few seats on these buses and the back of the bus is so cramped for space that most people don't even bother with it. It is also raised with a very narrow aisle which makes getting out very tricky. There is a large open area in the middle of the bus, but there are very few bars or handles to use and most people slosh around like milk in a bowl. They block anyone from getting to the seats in the back section, so instead of having 50 people in a regular-sized bus, they now have 50 people in what is ostensibly half a bus. Stinky people I should point out.

Now I can hardly blame the TTC for the discourteousness and idiocy of its patrons (the poor bastards have to deal with them everyday), but perhaps the engineers should have considered the flaw in their design. When given the choice between sitting in a cramped seat with a narrow aisle that may cause you to miss your stop, and standing in a large open area by the door there is no choice. I don't know what can be done about people moving to the back, but the designer who can do that will make a real mark on the public transport game.

I did make it back to the subway, and the lines of people to get on were maddening. These were very unhappy people trying to get home. They were pushy and wouldn't let us exit the bus. There was a thin aisle lined with the cold blank stare of commuters who know nothing of putting others first. I blame this on bad parenting which is especially sad since most probably were parents themselves.

I descended into the subway and headed west, transferred at St. George and made it to Union Station. I was too late to catch the 5:13 bus, but I noticed that there was a train at 5:33 that was heading east, so I jumped on. I discovered that it only went as far as Pickering and so I returned to the station and farted around until 5:53 and then got on the right train. If you've got time to kill and want to have a few laughs, just wander around the GO Train station at rushhour trying to make yourself as large and as clueless as possible while everyone rushes around in a panic. Oh wait, don't do that, because everyone else down there does that already! Better yet, just make sure you get there early, grab a seat, and watch the sparks fly.

What a group of people on that train. The human equivalent to gingerbread men going to their gingerbread houses. Most tried sleeping, and a few had middle-class conversations. I worked on a Kakuro and then read a book. I was stunned at how few people were reading on the train.

My sister picked me up at the train station and then it took us ten minutes to get out of the parking lot. Not only had I just spent most of the last four hours on public tranport, but now I had to wait in traffic. Eventually, we made it to her house, but each minute that went by brought me closer to facing it all again.

I was tired, bored, frustrated, and baffled at how people can do that every day. It wasn't until I got home before I realized that I had my iPod in my pocket and I could have been listening to it during all that drudgery. It made me think that I was more foolish than the fools I was following.

Talking Heads - The Big Country

Big Day Coming

2006-09-26T22:19:00.002-04:00

Today would have been my Mom and Dad's 36th wedding anniversary. I called my Dad and he seems to be doing fine. He said that he was thinking about his granddaughter's birthday tomorrow instead of his absent anniversary. I think that that's a good plan.

I'm heading out to the birthday party tomorrow, but before I do, I have to get a present and then go to the doctor's office. I still haven't been out for a run since the 30k in August and even though my hip is feeling better, it is still tender. I want to be a foolish man and just ignore it, but the caring people around me have told me to see a doctor and get it checked out. I don't want it healing improperly, and since I can't really run on it at all, I do think that it's a good idea. Sadly, my dream of completing a marathon and qualifying for Boston has died for this year. I was bummed to realize on Saturday that it was race day and I should have met my goal but was taking a shower at 2:30 in the afternoon. That was sad, but hopefully things will be sorted out tomorrow.

My new glasses still haven't arrived. It has been almost two weeks and I'm growing increasingly impatient. Maybe tomorrow.

Seat Flying

2006-09-24T23:27:00.000-04:00

I had a great accidental evening last night. I had made plans, but they fell through at the last minute, but then a friend called and I met he and his wife for drinks. We had a few drinks and chatted about life the universe and everything.

Today was spent not doing much of anything. I watched some television which was nice for a change. I haven't had cable since January and I haven't missed it. When my new roommate moved in he tried to lived without television, but caved in about three days. Though I told him that I'd split it with him, I haven't watched it very much since it arrived last Saturday. I find that I don't need to watch it anymore. Most of it is garbage anyway. I think that only disadvantage to not watching is that I'm missing out on a lot of possible pop culture references and Trivial Pursuit answers.

I don't have much in the way of plans this week. I have a birthday party to go to on Wednesday. It's my niece's first birthday, and while I'm not anxious for the GO Train ride to Ajax, the promise of Dairy Queen ice cream cake has assured my attendance. Other than that, things are a little uncertain for the week. I don't have solid plans, but I'm going to leave open the possibility of being able to do anything.

K- Incomplete

2006-09-23T20:41:00.000-04:00

I don't know how many posts I can start and then leave unfinished. Here are a few:

September 22, 2006
A good friend of mine is getting married in a couple of weeks and while I won't be able to attend the wedding, I would like to send along a gift. The only problem is that he lives in Mexico.

Now before you berate me for not going to a wedding in Mexico, I have already suffered enough punishment by trying to navigate the Liverpool website with my 14 words of Spanish. I already knew that Google translator is about as good as...

September 1st, 2006
Yesterday (and the past few days for that matter) was insane. I was up at 7:00 and working on getting myself moved which wasn't really moving as much as hauling stuff upstairs and dumping it into any free space. The house is a complete disaster with all my crap strewn everywhere.

I also had to finish cleaning the basement apartment and the upstairs apartment. In the top floor apartment was a 10 foot couch which was not possible to move. It belonged to someone else and had been in that apartment for many years as it was impossible to remove. I thought, "Not so bad, I'll just lower it off the balcony. So I rallied some friends together and bought some rope and prepared to drop a 10 foot couch off a third floor balcony.

Wisely, I was talked out of it. I was a little ticked at first because I wanted the job done, but it was 11:00 at night and I was in way over my head. I was convinced to go to sleep and to leave the couch until the clarity of the next morning.

I cleaned and cleaned and got everything organized, but still had to deal with the couch. I was all by myself so I was running out of ideas. Since this couch was garbage anyway, I decided to cut it in half. I got a hand saw and hacked it in two. A few funny comments the night before were: "Do you have a chainsaw?" and...

June 15th, 2006
Throughout the day, I usually come up with a ton of blog-worthy ideas, but then when it comes to sitting down and typing them out, I always forget them...

April 25th, 2006
My brief Monday and Tuesday off is drawing to a close. Next stop 9 days of work. It doesn't matter though. Payday is on Thursday and everything is brighter on payday...

April 23rd, 2006
I'm not convinced that my friends don't take me out just to get me drunk and to see what crazy stories I tell and what insane blog entries I post...

April 4th, 2006
Today was a real shock to the system. I was up at 6:15 and on the road by 7:15. I stayed over at my sister's house in Ajax last night so that I wouldn't have to face the DVP and eastbound 401 this morning. It was a smart move.

My interview went very well this morning. My lesson was all right, but nothing outstanding. I think that they just wanted to see how I interacted with the students and to see my demeanour in the classroom. I was surprisingly relaxed considering I haven't been in a classroom for almost six months. Like riding a bike, I guess.

The interview section was very good. I didn't get to the end and say, "Oh I should have said that!" or "I wish I hadn't said that!" All in all I am pleased with the way things went.

I think that the reason why I was more relaxed was because I had a bit of a problem when I arrived.

I was really rushed last night to get to my sister's house, and I forgot my toothbrush and razor. I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some disposable razors and a new toothbrush. That was no problem.

In my sister's house she has a regular bathroom but they only use their ensuite. Their regular bathroom, therefore, didn't have any toothpaste. I didn't want to bother them so I decided not to brush.

Just before I arrived at the school, I stopped at a Mac's Milk to pick up some toothpaste, but I was waterless...

February 27th, 2006
I just had one of those moments as described in The Streets' song, "It Was Supposed to Be So Easy."

I owned a house in Saskatoon before I moved to Ontario. I sold it on June 15th, 2005. There hasn't been any problem with the sale of the house, except that because of an incredible piece of bureaucracy, I was still being charged mortgage protection at the beginning of each month. So, I have been paying $32.11 each month since June 15th for a mortgage I didn't have. For some insane reason, FirstLine Mortgages doesn't inform Manulife Financial's Mortgage Protection Plan that the mortgage has been discharged.

When I realized that I had paid over $200 over the past 7 months, I decided that I would cancel the plan and get my money back. Simple right? It was supposed to be so easy.

In order to cancel the mortgage I needed to have a letter get my money back had to...

November 15th, 2006
It's hard not to feeluncomfortable while watching Noah Baubach's The Squid and the Whale. You watch the characters on screen and while a part of you hopes that they overcome the sadness of their own lives, but you sit helpless as things fall apart around them.

It isn't as if they don't deserve what's coming to them, though. Jeff Daniels plays, Bernard, a washed up writer and English professor who is jaded in the face of a world that who once embraced him. Bernard and his wife Joan, played by Laura Linney, are in the throes of a divorce which has a devastating impact upon their two sons, Walt and Frank...

October 19th, 2006
My weekend to Montreal was centred around seeing Death Cab For Cutie at the Spectrum. One does not really need a reason for visiting Montreal, but as excuses go, this is a good one...

Quickie

2006-09-19T10:35:00.000-04:00

"I've got to have you right now."
"But I haven't got time."
"Just a quick one then."
"But I really don't have time."
"When we started this you would have made time for me."
"It's not that. I'm just busy."
"You used to make time for me."
"I make time for you."
"Not like you used to."
"What do you want from me?"
"I want you right now."
"I haven't got time, just look in the archives."
"The archives aren't enough. I want you right now."
"But I've got to take a shower, and get some jobs done."
"Give me a quick one and then take your shower."
"Ugh."
"You're not man enough to do it now are you?"
"I'm not man enough?"
"You're not creative enough to to satisfy me."
"I'm not creative enough?"
"Prove it."
"Fine."

[furious typing]

"Publish, you bastard."

Yo La Awesome

2006-09-16T00:44:00.000-04:00

I e-picked up the new Yo La Tengo album this evening (legally) and am currently giving it the virgin listen. There's something about the first listen that you just can't ever get back. With music subsequent listens often improve a record's enjoyment, but the excitement of fresh tracks is pleasure enough. As the notes float by, I know that, sadly, this is now the moment when I will have the longest wait before listening to a new Yo La Tengo album and enjoying the fresh track excitement.

I saw them play many Octobers ago when I was living in Montreal. I wasn't excited about going because no one wanted to go with me and I had to sell my extra ticket to "the guys, that uh, sell the tickets for the sold-out events." I considered not going, and put it off for much of the evening. I sat there debating and debating in my head as I watched Sunday night television. In a fit of self-loathing, I decided to go. I felt like a loser going to a concert by myself, but weighed that against the loser feeling of watching television instead of going out to see one of my favourite bands in concert.

As I walked into one of the world's greatest concert venues, the Cabaret, the band was just taking the stage and kicked off with their version of The Simpson's theme. The next two-plus hours were pure bliss, and easily rank in my top three all-time concerts.

After being distracted a few times, and at the risk of revealing how long it takes me to finish a post, the album has drawn to a close. The long wait for the next album begins, but in the meantime I'm going to do my best to wear out these mp4s.

Here We Are

2006-09-14T23:54:00.000-04:00

I haven't had a lot to write about. Actually, that a bald-faced lie, but I really just haven't made time to sit down and write. I should, but I haven't.

I recall wondering in the shower the other day about where razors can go next. I mean a razor used to be a single blade, and now they've managed to squeeze in five blades and one on the top for touch-ups. Can they put six? Ten? Twenty-five blades on a single razor? To use the words of Karl Pilkington, "Do we need 'em?"

I had my eyes tested today at the same place that Daniel Cook visited on his show. I didn't have the nerve to ask the doctor about it. I'm not sure how I feel about this Daniel Cook character, I want to dislike his eagerness, but I just can't. I find his show quite entertaining, and I enjoy watching it.

My eye test was fine. I'm sensitive to the eye dilating drops, and they stay open for over a week. The doctor was nice enough not to give them to me. My left eye had degenerated since my last visit five years ago. It is more than twice as poor as my right eye: -4.75 and -2.25.

I had found a pair of glasses that I liked and was all set to buy them once I got my prescription. There was an opticians attached and I had a wander around and found the same pair for $70 less, so I was quite happy about that. I'll be able to get them in about a week or so.

I'm reading Dave Eggers' "A Heartbreaking Work of Astonishing Genius" and will end this early because I'd rather be reading that than writing this.

Ticket to Ride

2006-09-11T13:00:00.000-04:00

After working yesterday, I walked home and then loaded the following garbage into the truck:

1- 8 foot couch in two sections that had been sawed in half and lowered from the third floor balcony to the backyard.
8- cushions from the sawed couch which were particularly nasty since they had been left out in the rain.
2- large speakers.
1- chipboard and laminate bedside table.
14- pieces of chipboard and laminate from a disassembled wardrobe.
2- floor lamps
1- table lamp with shade
1- Ronco "Set It and Forget It" Rotisserie
1- Cuisinart
1- flour sifter
1- deep fryer
1- scanner
1- coffee maker
1- green plastic garbage can lid
1- green Rubbermaid container
1- mop

After moving and dealing with cleaning out the upstairs apartment, there was a lot of garbage, and since most of it couldn't be put into bags I had to take matters into my own hands.

With the truck loaded I headed out of the city to Muskoka. I filled up with gas at 75.7 cents per litre (I was chuffed to notice that it was 85.9 when I returned) and arrived just after midnight.

My cellphone alarm woke me up at 8:30 and I headed to the landfill. There was no problem emptying the truck and the damage was only $29.50. It was worth anything to get that crap out of my life.

After the dump, I stopped by the bakery to grab the best danishes in the world, but I guess they only bake for the tourists on the weekends because they were just trying to get rid of the day old scones and sliced bread. I went danish-free, but got some cookies to soothe the suffering.

My Dad has a few pallets of flagstone up there and so I loaded one of them into the now empty truck and headed back to the city. I stopped on the way to buy a doorbell for the tenants upstairs and then arrived back in time to catch the 12:30 news.

The afternoon will see me donate blood, and then brave the rushhour traffic to head to my sister's house. I figure that I should make an effort to see her baby since I'm beginning to think that she doesn't think that I like my niece since I rarely see her. It's not my fault that she decided to live in the suburbs. You move to the suburbs, you accept the loneliness.

After dinner and smiling at baby, I'm heading to my Dad's house to deliver his stone. I'll spend the night, catch a ride to Kingston and then take the train home. It's not a very glamourous way to spend a day off, but at least I'm accomplishing a lot.

Parking Malaise

2006-09-09T13:13:00.000-04:00

I borrowed my Dad's truck quite some time ago, and it has, for the most part, been parked in the spot behind the house. The parking spot is off the alley that runs between the houses on the east and west sides of my block.

I made a commitment to myself that I would never get another parking ticket for the rest of my life. My last parking ticket was 311 days ago.

I went to the grocery store yesterday and when I returned some idiot had parked in front of their garage and therefore blocked me from being able to get into my spot. Had I not been driving a pick-up I might have been able to squeeze in, but despite my vehicle's ability to drive over the Kia hatchback without my feeling a jostle, I couldn't park in my free spot. I didn't get upset, since there was parking on the street. As long as I moved the car before 2:00am I would be fine. By then the red car, I expected, would be gone. That's the kind of inconvenience that ruins a lot of people's days, but I think is just the way things are and I don't think that getting angry about it is worth the energy.

I got home from work, and had to take care of a plugged toilet, and then I wrote a long overdue DVD review, read for a bit, and went to sleep.

I woke up this morning, went to the bathroom, and wandered down for some cereal. I looked out the back window and noticed that the truck wasn't in its spot.

[insert long string of curse words here]

After getting that out of my system, I resolved not to get upset about getting a $35 ticket, but just to convince myself that it could be a lot worse. I didn't rush outside to move the truck since there was no doubt in my mind that there'd be a yellow piece of rain-soaked paper with a smudged-ink fine on it.

I enjoyed my breakfast and some Skype, and then showered and got dressed. As I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled my socks on, I thought about my plan to never get another parking ticket and realized just how intensely foolish that plan was. How could I conceivably go the next 50 years without a parking ticket? I guess that some people do, but living in the city and being absent-minded is not a good combination. I felt like an idiot for a while and tried, as Brian is always telling me to do, to feel as much shame and self-loathing as possible.

I built up all my courage and headed out to move the truck. It was parked right in front of my house and as I approached it, I expected to see the gleam of yellow like Merseault's sun glinting off the blade.

I was flabbergasted, stunned, and shocked to not see a ticket. How in a city with hundreds of parking ticket patrol cars, could I not have a ticket on my illegally parked overnight windshield? I couldn't believe my luck that I not only saved the $35, but, more importantly, that my ticket-free streak continues.

Tic Tac Tic Tac

2006-09-07T08:40:00.000-04:00

I am going to ignore the fact that there have been very few posts, and that there is a documentation gap for the past couple of weeks. I expect also that this has had a negative effect on my readership.

I have mentioned this song before, and it is, without a doubt, one of the strangest (good) I have ever heard.

Boby Lapointe - Ta Katie T'a Quitte

I am finally reasonably organized after my move. It was the worst move of my life because I was so incredibly stupid about it. I was lulled into a false sense of security because, distance-wise, it was such a short move. If I had had to rent a truck, I would have packed everything into boxes and labeled them and stacked them neatly, and placed them in the appropriate rooms. Instead, I filled up recycling boxes with all my crap, hauled them upstairs, realized that I still needed the boxes, found an open space on a bed or on the floor, and dumped. The whole process made a gigantic mess and I've been living in chaotic disarray.

I got out of dodge for the weekend, and, while it was rainy, I had a great weekend away: a trip to the local bakery for danishes and beached all-purpose flour hot dog and hamburger buns, a canoe around (some of) the lake, a little reading, the Saturday Globe and Mail and its fabulous Sudoku, and, despite the clouds, some lounging on the dock.

The strangest thing just happened. After completing the above paragraph, I became very concerned about the location of my phone. I felt my pockets and looked around the room. I wondered if maybe I had left it downstairs and, if so, where. I wondered, briefly, how many calls I might have missed and how great it would be if there was an interesting message waiting for me when, and if, I found it.

Just like that, it started ringing. It was on my bedside table, and as I walked across the room, I remembered that I had spoken to my Dad just before bed. Everything made sense except the fact that the idea of telephone entered my head seconds before the telephone rang.

I'm starting to settle into a more normal routine, and I expect that I will be posting with more regularity.

Moving and Shaking

2006-08-30T19:09:00.000-04:00

I feel just wretched about not posting, but I've just been insanely busy with the house. Whether I'm having keys made, discovering new filthy pits in the apartments, or scheduling visits, I just haven't had a spare minute to blog. The start of the school year was never this busy when I was a student.

I will try to make time before then, but will be back to my normal ways on Monday.

In short:

-My hip still hurts.
-My father is happy that I'm working so hard for him.
-I'm tired of cleaning, but was reasonably impressed with the carpet cleaning machine that I rented at the local grocery store.
-I have developed a real taste this week for black licorice, fruit leather, and cinnamon-raisin bagels.

Weekend Wrap-Up

2006-08-28T19:45:00.000-04:00

It's been a good weekend, but I haven't made much time for blogging. There has been a lot going on and over the past week, and things will continue to be busy for the next little while.

I managed to rent the two apartments and the new tenants will be moving in later on this week. That means that I have to move from the basement to the main floor. It shouldn't be a problem, but it will take a few hours to lug everything upstairs. I don't have to worry about boxes or anything, but can just grab a handful of stuff and carry it up to its new home. I think that I'll be able to move out and move in in about three beers.

Once I'm moved, I have to continue the massive clean-up. I rented a rug cleaner today, and will spend tomorrow morning shampooing the carpets in the two apartments. Once that's finished, I have to clean walls and windows, and make sure that everything is pristine.

I bought a powerwasher today and need to spend some time setting it up and cleaning around the outside of the house. Those pigeons suffered some significant losses, but have rallied and have struck back with some victories of their own. I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that these pigeons can strut around like they're the ones in charge around here.

I haven't been running as my hip has been giving me some sharp, stabbing pain. I'm worried that this might put a wrench in the Boston-qualification plans, and I'm hoping to get back at it tomorrow.

The rest continues on as usual. I'll be happy when everything is taken care of with the house and I can relax a little. I'm just hoping that I don't have to paint the third-floor apartment for the new tenants. That would be horrible, and something that I think is a distinct possibility.

Opened House

2006-08-25T09:30:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting at my computer typing this in the middle of an open house. I listed the two apartments and had so many responses that I couldn't be bothered arranging individual showings for that many people and so I decided to open up the house for viewing today.

My good friend is manning the basement while I fart around on the computer waiting for people to arrive. I expect that he's playing video games. In fact, I should go check it out and maybe have some breakfast. I've been up since 6:45 doing some last minute tidying and getting things organized.

The cleaning person who came yesterday did a very nice job, but I was very surprised. I got a call at 2 something informing me that the job was too big to finish in 5 hours. I couldn't believe it. Granted, the place was a mess; that's why I didn't want to clean it. Nevertheless, had I actually not been lazy I could have easily finished in less than 5 hours, especially if I was being paid. I suppose that this is an endemic problem of hourly wages. Why do a job in 5 hours when you can do it in 10 and get paid twice as much?

It doesn't really matter. He/She (I didn't meet the cleaning person) did a great job on the two bathrooms and cleaned the surfaces in the kitchen. I took some tome to wipe down the cupboards in the kitchen and to vacuum and sweep the rest of the apartment (which was relatively tidy).

So now people are wandering through to rent the apartments. It isn't so bad, but I feel really terrible since I, in essence, have to choose the best candidate, and since I can only choose one person, I have to shoot down the rest and leave them to the horror of other apartments and landlords who screw them over.

(pause)

There have been quite a few people who have come by to look at the house, but with so many people have emailng me I was expecting a lot more. I expect that it's because it's 10:30 in the morning and people have jobs. I shouldn't complain since you want tenants with jobs. I expect that things will get a lot busier this evening.

Other than finally getting off my butt and doing this chore, I haven't been doing a whole lot. I've been resting, perhaps too much, after my race, but my hip has been bugging me a little. It's the same chair problem that I've had in the past. I'm going to force myself to run tonight and see how it goes. The big race is only 33 days away!

Serviced

2006-08-24T09:32:00.000-04:00

Big day today. I'm up early and have already showered and eaten. I've checked my email and have read a few blogs.

I am off to the grocery store in order to pick up a few essentials and to purchase a few cleaning products. I have a cleaning person coming over this afternoon to take care of the nastiness that is the top floor apartment. I couldn't face cleaning the bathroom or the kitchen, and though I think that it is incredibly horrible to pay someone else to do it, I am realistic enough to know that that is the only way that it will get finished and finished properly. Usually, I am an extreme cleaner, but the bathroom in that apartment is huge and I really am not up to the challenge. I am also a firm believer in cleaning up your own mess. I will never have someone else clean my bathroom; that's a job I take care of for myself. When it comes to the rental apartment, I think that the jerks who used to live there should have cleaned it themselves, but they didn't and I really don't want to do it.

So, I've become one of those people who will pay to have someone else do their dirty work. I'll justify it by saying that it's simply a professional service. I pay to have my eyes checked, I pay to have my cavities filled (my teeth, sheesh!), I pay (through taxes) to be consulted by a doctor. Granted, these are things that I can't do myself. Consider, though, going out for dinner. I can cook and enjoy cooking, but I will still go out for a nice meal every now and then. Might paying someone to clean be similar? I can clean and enjoy cleaning (in as much as one can enjoy cleaning). We don't look down on people who pay to eat at a restaurant, why do I feel so bad about paying someone to clean an empty apartment?

Well now that that rationalizing is out of the way I can stop feeling so guilty, lazy, and aristocratic about it. Still, it has this air of exploitation about it, and I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe I'm a bad person, or maybe I'm just thinking too much about nothing. It makes me a little sad to know that while I'm out working, someone will be doing a job that I should have done. That will never make me feel good.

With the apartment cleaned, I am having an open house tomorrow so that I can get the apartments rented for September 1st. I have had over 60 people who are interested in renting and rather than trying to arrange meetings, I have just decided to open up the house tomorrow morning and evening. With luck, I can get the place rented quickly so that I can stop stressing about it and stop feeling guilty about procrastinating. My Dad, too, will be extremely happy, and that will make me relax a little.

Back in Black

2006-08-21T15:34:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time coming, but I managed to crawl out of credit card debt this afternoon. All my credit cards are paid off, and I actually have some cash in my bank account. Now I can create a savings account, and start to build a financial future. Hot dog!